DAY 353 - GUILT, GUILT, GO AWAY, COME AGAIN SOME OTHER DAY!

Day 353

I didn't write a post yesterday and felt very guilty about it. I have been very disciplined about writing, so I felt like I was letting myself down as well as my readers. Sometimes, we put so much pressure on ourselves!  It's not that I didn't want to write, but I really didn't have time.  And I know that in the next couple of months, life will get busier and busier. 

Between renovating my new house (renovations began yesterday), packing for the move, working at the school, housework and taking care of my children, spare time will surely become scarce.

It made me think that the primary goal of my 500-days-to-happiness journey is to discover and experience happiness.  In that sense, self-inflicted guilt is somewhat counterproductive.  I need to accept the fact that for two months or so, it will be harder for me to be as consistent with my writing as I have been in the last year and a half. 

Writing brings me so much happiness.  All alone in front of my computer, I love to research, reflect and take the time to express my thoughts.  I become submerged in  my own little bubble and I truly enjoy it.

However, I know that temporarily, I might not have as much time to indulge in it.  I need to prioritize and focus on what needs to be done (boxes, renovations and obviously, taking care of my children).  We are moving in less than a month and a half and I have so much to do  until then.

So, no more guilt feelings!!!!  They're not going to lead me anywhere.  I'll do what I can to continue writing, but when it is not possible, I won't.  And I know, that sooner than later, I'll have moved into my new home and no longer feel as overwhelmed as I do now!

DAY 352 - DEALING WITH CHRONIC COMPLAINERs

Day 352

Are there people around you who are always complaining?  Some people just seem to find something wrong in the most wonderful situation and I AM NOW COMPLAINING ABOUT THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE.

In every situation, if you really look carefully, you could always find something to critize.  Some people specialize in discovering those defects, even in the most wonderful situations.  They are chronic complainers.  I'm not talking about people who are pessimistic, who internalize their suffering and see the glass half empty.  I'm talking about those who can see that the glass is half full, but they think that it could be fuller or, they find the water in the glass too warm or too cold.

Let me just tell you, right away, that I am generally of an enthusiastic nature.  I truly feel blessed (which doesn't mean I am not afflicted with negative thoughts) and I always try to focus on the positive part of any kind of experience. (I'm obviously not talking about experiences that are negative by definition, but neutral ones).

When I go to the movies with my students and the story of the movie that is chosen is questionable, I always try to point out to them that the obljective of the activity is the language and that if they were able to follow the story, they greatly benefited from the activity.  So, even though they didn't like the story so much, they come out of the movie theatre feeling content and confident that they could watch a movie in english.

So how do you deal with chronic complainers?  One of the things I have noticed, is that if you try to show them a more enthusiastic view, they'll keep arguing until you agree with them. In fact, what they are really looking for, is some sort of validation of their emotional state.  In general, giving them what they need - compassion and validation of their emotion - will be far more helpful in making them stop complaining then arguing the validity of their criticism.  They'll feel like they are being understood.

This being said, it is probably better to keep those kinds of people at bay -  they'll dampen your mood when you're happy, they'll drag you down when you're in the mood to fly.  However, if you are stuck with a chronic complainer (aren't we all in some way?), learning to minimize contact and avoid  how complaining-oriented conversations is probably the best way to go.

“The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.”

 Lord Jeffrey (1773-1850, Scottish judge and literary critic)

DAY 351 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - WILLIAM MCDONOUGH, ENVIRONMENTAL DESIGNER, AUTHOR OF CRADLE TO CRADLE

Day 351

This morning, I went to have a coffee with one of my friends who is a documentary filmmaker.  She spoke to me about a book that was made into a documentary called Cradle to Cradle: Remaking the Way we Make Things .  I had heard of the book, but as she was talking about her own fascination with the ideas portrayed in it, I became more and more interested myself.

Cradle to Cradle: Remaking the Way we Make things was written by an architect by the name of William McDonough with the help of a chemist named Michael Braungart.  The book suggests ways of creating products and services based on patterns found in nature, eliminating the concept of waste entirely and prioritizing health and sustainability.

It takes inspiration from nature, in which there is never any waste.  The rotten apple feeds the earth which in turn will help produce more apples.  For the two authors, our long-term prosperity depends on the ability of our industries to find ways to maintain materials in "closed loops" as is found in nature,  maximizing material value without damaging ecosystems. They draw up real ways of doing it, by giving practical advice.

We all know that we need to take care of the environment.  What I find interesting with McDonough's approach is that he doesn't bash the industries that pollute, he suggests constructive ways of implementing positive change without losing sight of the bottom line, which is always money.

McDonough has been involved and active in trying to better the environment since the nineties. He has been named "Hero of the Planet" in 1999 and "Hero of the Environment" in 2007 by Time magazine.  He's won a great amount of prizes underlining his innovative approach to sustainability.  In that sense, he definitely serves as an inspiration and reminds us that to take care of our world, we all need to start thinking outside of the box and use our creativity.

Here is a link to a TED talk given by WIlliam McDonough:

http://www.ted.com/talks/william_mcdonough_on_cradle_to_cradle_design.html

DAY 350 - DRAWING MY WAY TO HAPPINESS

Day 350 

Drawing of my husband

When you've lived in the same place for many years, you forget about the existence of some of the things you own.  On Saturday morning, my husband wanted to make some boxes.  He decided to empty the hallway closet.  On the top shelf, hidden behind our luggages,  he discovered a container full of my old painting material. 

There was a phase in my life when I spent hours and hours drawing and painting.  I've never taken a class, although I've always wanted to. I just really enjoyed doing it.  Those two activities never failed to put me in a meditative and relaxing state.

As I looked through my old stuff, I discovered a portrait I had made of my husband.  At the time, his hair was longer, so you could see his curls.  I also found a drawing I had made of my friend Christina and a self-portrait. 

Drawing of my yongest daughter

When my youngest daughter saw those portraits, she asked me if I could draw her.  I really didn't know if I'd be able to do it, but I told her I would try.

On Saturday afternoon, while my children were at gymnastics and my husband was out running some errands, I took a white sheet, a pencil and a photograph of my daughter and started drawing. Right away, I got into it, focusing on reproducing the lines and features of my daughter's face.  It took me about half an hour. The result is not perfect, but it allowed me to rediscover the pleasure of drawing. 

Many positive psycholigists believe that in order to achieve happiness, you should try to find activities that put you in a state of 'flow', activities in which you feel so immersed and reenergized that you forget about time, space, and any problem you might have!

Painting and drawing definitely both help me achieve that state.

     

    

DAY 349 - THE ART OF GIVING

Day 349

The former owners of the house we have bought left many pieces of furniture, including a whole dining room set, a stove, a microwave oven, twin beds, a futon, etc.  Initially, we thought that maybe we could sell them and use the money to buy all the things we will need for our new home.

So, the little greedy angel on my left shoulder was thinking "we could make money with this" while the giving and generous angel on my right shoulder was thinking "we should give it to someone who needs it".  However, the more I thought of it, the more I felt that selling it was not the right thing to do. After all, these things were given to us.

In the end, I decided that it was a great opportunity to help people who might be in need...

The first people that came to my mind were my students.  Many of them are new immigrants looking for a job and struggling with money.  So, I took pictures of all the furniture that was there and showed it to them.  On Saturday, six or seven of them,  showed up with little cans borrowed from friends and got what they had chosen.

They were all so appreciative and happy.  One of my students is a single mother of three children, who was born in Ecuador.  She came to Canada in search for a better life.  I don't know her whole story, only bits and pieces, but I don't think things have been that easy for her.  She took a twin bed for her daughter with a nice wooden dresser and a mirror and another twin bed for her son...

Giving to all those students brought me much more happiness than the few dollars I would have made selling the furniture.  It felt so good being able to bring some joy to my students.

It reminded me once again that, although out of habit and probably because of attachment to material goods, we sometimes tend to adopt a selfish and greedy attitude, generosity and the act of giving are far more fulfilling.

 "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in Giving Creates Love.”

Lao Tsu

"Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted."
Buddha

DAY 348 -DOING IT THE FINNISH WAY!

Day 348

This morning, my students had to make a presentation on their passion.  One of them talked about her love for Finnish baths and all other types of therapeutic baths.  She told us that, when she can, she likes to go and spend a day at the Spa.  I also enjoy doing that.  Unfortunately, I don't get to indulge in that kind of activity as much as I would like. 

As we were looking at the pamphlets she brought to illustrate her presentation, I was thinking about the fact that in Canada, these little pleasures are truly a luxury.  It is not the case for many other parts of the world, especially for Finland!

In Finland, for a population of 5 million people, there are 2 million saunas.  It is the only country where there are more saunas than cars.  Rich or poor, every family owns one. 

In Finland, the sauna is used for rites of passage. It is a place where children are born and where women go through the purification ritual before marriage. It is also where old people sometimes drag themselves to leave this world in peace and warmth. Until today, some older generation Finns boast about being born in the sauna, it is a national passion and an integral part of their civil identity.

As a general rule women and men bathe separately, except within the family.   In the sauna, there are heated stones onto which you throw water to create steam. Some Finns also lightly beat themselves with traditional whisks made of bunches of birch leaves to stimulate the circulation of blood. Every now and then, they  leave the heat room to take a shower, swim or, in winter, roll into snow to cool off, only to return to the sauna afterwards.  The ritual can last from 20 minutes up to two hours or more.

According to etiquette, in Finland, one should shower before going into the sauna. Children are taught very young to behave in the sauna like they would in church. A minimum amount of noise and no swear words are acceptable in the sauna. Everyone goes in naked. Traditionally, people use the saunas on  Saturdays.

In North America, baths have not become such a custom and are still only available to those who have money to afford them.  Yet, they could really help release tension and promote mental health, if only they were made more available.

DAY 347 - INPIRATIONAL PEOPLE - JESUS CHRIST

Day 347

Let me start off by saying that I was raised Catholic. Growing up, I believed that Jesus Christ was the son of God. Later on, I developed my own sets of beliefs. Nevertheless, I have always believed that  that Jesus truly existed and led a life that could serve as an inspiration to us all.

Contrarily to what many may think, Jesus Christ was not born in the year 0.  Most scholars agree on that because of astronomical signs recorded in the Bible and different political events of the time; Jesus was probably born in 4 or 6 BC. 

His story was written about 50 to 100 years after his death.  There have been many debates on who the authors of the Gospels.  Until this day, there isn't a real consensus. However, because of similarities between the various accounts of his life, the accuracy of some elements of his life are no longer disputed.  Many Gospels were found.  However, four of them (Mark, Luke, John and Matthew) are considered by Christians as authentic.

Very little is known from Jesus' early years.  We do know that he was born into Judaism from Joseph and Mary of Nazareth, that his father was a carpenter, and that he learned that trade from him.  We also know that he was born during the Roman Empire, in a time of great political turmoil.

Some have suggested that during his youth, Jesus travelled to India and Persia where he learned something of India's spiritual tradition before returning to Nazareth to begin his ministry.  His teachings definitely bear similarities to Eastern spirituality.

Jesus gave up all worldly possessions ant traveled around preaching love and forgiveness.  In that way, he set himself apart from old scriptures which had an 'eye for an eye' approach.  He also talked about the fact that the "Kingdom of Heaven" was within all of us, and that to attain this state, we should all be willing to live in simplicity and give up attachment to worldly possessions.

"The kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed; nor will they say, `Lo, here it is!' or `There!' for behold, the kingdom of God is in the midst of you (or "within you") Luke 17:20

Jesus was also known as a healer. The gospels recount many miracles where Jesus was able to heal the sick and even resurrect the dead (Lazarus).

Jesus used his power to help others.  He welcomed outcasts, people at the margins, and people who were

ostracized.  He embraced everyone regardless of their social situation or physical condition.

No matter if you believe that Jesus was the son of God or not, no one can deny that he was an exceptional human being in touch with a spiritual world very few of us ever access.  He used his faith and power to better the world around him.

Unfortunately, history has shown that his message was sometimes lost in the hands of power hungry people.   I still believe that his philosophy and way of life have inspired and continue to inspire millions of people who follow his path and, through every day gestures, positively impact the lives of others.