Day 43
Have you ever suffered from insomnia? I have. When I had just given birth to my first daughter, I suffered from severe insomnia for about six months. I remember every night being in my bed, tossing and turning, trying to slow my breathing down, counting sheep, cows, horses, whatever animal popped in my head, looking desperately for a way to fall into the appeasing unconsciousness of restful sleep. Before going to bed, I would drink camomile tea, warm milk, eat a banana, try to relax, try to meditate, avoid television; I would apply the million tricks I had discovered in books and on internet during my way-too-long waken hours.
As a matter of fact, from the moment I had kids, my sleep pattern was transformed. I no longer have the careless sleep I used to have as a teenager. Now, no matter my bedtime, I arouse no later than 7:30am. I always wake up at least once during the night and my sleep is much lighter than in the past.
The problem with insomnia is that when you start suffering from it, it is so hard to get out of the vicious circle. The less you sleep, the more tired you are and the more tired you are, the harder it is fall asleep. And, if you combine that with the worry and stress about not being able to meet your obligations on the next day, you have the perfect recipe for insomnia!
Research has shown that sleep plays a role in our physical and mental well-being. By keeping this in mind and using our knowledge to maximize our chances to succeed in getting a restful night, we could help ourselves access a more vibrant, energetic and happy, waken life!
Now, every night before going to bed, I meditate. I always drink a warm cup of camomile tea. I don’t watch anything on television that could potentially disturb my peace of mind. I read or write. I try to focus on activities that are conducive to a relaxing state.
I still wake up sometimes, but I must admit that in the last month I’ve been enjoying a much more restful sleep. I guess, by putting all the chances on your side and sticking to a pretty strict sleep routine, better nights and, as a result, better days could very well be only an arm-length away.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
DAY 42 - DETOXING YOUR BODY
Day 42
Accumulated toxins in the body is said to cause fatigue, sluggishness, digestive problems and other ailments, including depression. There are many ways to get rid of toxins in your body. And, in order to do so, you don’t necessarily have to be eating only grapes for a week, which could get a little repetitive and, quite frankly, seems very unappealing.
First, drinking a lot of filtered, purified water is the best way to clear your body of toxins and has been proven to help alleviate migraines, regulate blood pressure, boost the immune system and keep the skin looking young and healthy. If, as we already know, our body is made up of 75% water, it is only logical that we would need to fuel it regularly with water.
Sweating it out, in a sauna, is also helpful in getting rid of toxins. By elevating the body’s internal temperature, you increase the removal of waste and toxin accumulated in the liver. The benefits of saunas have been known for ages. This is why many cultures have their version of it: the Romans had the ‘Thermae’, the Japanese the ‘Onsen ‘ the Russians the ‘Banya’ and, of course the better known ‘Turkish bath’, ‘Hamam’ and ‘Finnish Sauna’.
Exercise not only provides benefits such as toning muscles, burning off calories and raising endorphin levels, it also increases the body's internal temperature and through the expansion of capillary vessels, it helps get rid of old wastes. Because it also releases toxins within the body, it is primordial to drink a lot of water while exercising.
Scrubbing your skin, from head to toe, the tongue, when brushing your teeth, gargling and clearing out your nose with warm water every day in order to get rid of toxins found in and on the body is beneficial as well. So take out your luffa sponges and start scrubbing!
Avoiding chemical cleaning products, using natural personal hygiene brands and buying organic foods, as much as possible, contribute in limiting the intake and absorption of toxins.
Finally, there are a multitude of herbs and supplements that could also be used to eliminate toxins. However, in the case of these products, it is probably wiser to consult a good naturopath who could advise you on what method suits your needs best.
Detoxifying your body, in whichever way you choose, will definitely increase your energy level and your overall feeling of well-being. The challenge is to be disciplined and constant about applying these techniques and making them part of your daily life.
Accumulated toxins in the body is said to cause fatigue, sluggishness, digestive problems and other ailments, including depression. There are many ways to get rid of toxins in your body. And, in order to do so, you don’t necessarily have to be eating only grapes for a week, which could get a little repetitive and, quite frankly, seems very unappealing.
First, drinking a lot of filtered, purified water is the best way to clear your body of toxins and has been proven to help alleviate migraines, regulate blood pressure, boost the immune system and keep the skin looking young and healthy. If, as we already know, our body is made up of 75% water, it is only logical that we would need to fuel it regularly with water.
Sweating it out, in a sauna, is also helpful in getting rid of toxins. By elevating the body’s internal temperature, you increase the removal of waste and toxin accumulated in the liver. The benefits of saunas have been known for ages. This is why many cultures have their version of it: the Romans had the ‘Thermae’, the Japanese the ‘Onsen ‘ the Russians the ‘Banya’ and, of course the better known ‘Turkish bath’, ‘Hamam’ and ‘Finnish Sauna’.
Exercise not only provides benefits such as toning muscles, burning off calories and raising endorphin levels, it also increases the body's internal temperature and through the expansion of capillary vessels, it helps get rid of old wastes. Because it also releases toxins within the body, it is primordial to drink a lot of water while exercising.
Scrubbing your skin, from head to toe, the tongue, when brushing your teeth, gargling and clearing out your nose with warm water every day in order to get rid of toxins found in and on the body is beneficial as well. So take out your luffa sponges and start scrubbing!
Avoiding chemical cleaning products, using natural personal hygiene brands and buying organic foods, as much as possible, contribute in limiting the intake and absorption of toxins.
Finally, there are a multitude of herbs and supplements that could also be used to eliminate toxins. However, in the case of these products, it is probably wiser to consult a good naturopath who could advise you on what method suits your needs best.
Detoxifying your body, in whichever way you choose, will definitely increase your energy level and your overall feeling of well-being. The challenge is to be disciplined and constant about applying these techniques and making them part of your daily life.
Friday, October 29, 2010
DAY 41 - THE SECRET GARDEN
Day 41
At my daughter's school, kids are learning about non-violent communication (NVC). NVC is a process developed by Marshall Rosenberg, an American psychologist. It postulates that most conflicts we have with others stem from our inability to communicate our needs.
One aim of NVC is to create a situation in which everyone's needs are met. It advocates that in order to achieve this goal, we need to show compassion and empathy when listening to the other and to express ourselves with clarity in objective and neutral terms rather than in judgmental terms.
Yesterday, my daughter came back from school and told me that they were also learning about visualization. Apparently, the two psychologists that are going around the school teaching them NVC, came and talked about a way to deal with sadness. When this feeling arise, they recommend the kids close their eyes and imagine themselves in a secret garden, one that would only be theirs. They suggest to mentally travel to this beautiful self-created paradise when they are feeling sad and to stay there until they are feeling better.
Most adults I know don’t have adequate communication skills and most adults I know have not learned to deal with their pain. These 9-10 year old kids are being taught, at their age, that it is better to express your needs calmly when you’re upset; that you need to listen to other people’s needs with compassion. They are being told that they have control over their state of mind, that they could better their mood by using their creativity and their imagination.
Will these teachings have a long lasting impact on their lives? Is this approach really appropriate for school aged children? It is hard to say. All I know is that many of us adults find ourselves struggling to control our minds and unable to deal with conflict. NVC and visualization could definitely serve as an added tool in our journey toward a better and happier mental state.
At my daughter's school, kids are learning about non-violent communication (NVC). NVC is a process developed by Marshall Rosenberg, an American psychologist. It postulates that most conflicts we have with others stem from our inability to communicate our needs.
One aim of NVC is to create a situation in which everyone's needs are met. It advocates that in order to achieve this goal, we need to show compassion and empathy when listening to the other and to express ourselves with clarity in objective and neutral terms rather than in judgmental terms.
Yesterday, my daughter came back from school and told me that they were also learning about visualization. Apparently, the two psychologists that are going around the school teaching them NVC, came and talked about a way to deal with sadness. When this feeling arise, they recommend the kids close their eyes and imagine themselves in a secret garden, one that would only be theirs. They suggest to mentally travel to this beautiful self-created paradise when they are feeling sad and to stay there until they are feeling better.
Most adults I know don’t have adequate communication skills and most adults I know have not learned to deal with their pain. These 9-10 year old kids are being taught, at their age, that it is better to express your needs calmly when you’re upset; that you need to listen to other people’s needs with compassion. They are being told that they have control over their state of mind, that they could better their mood by using their creativity and their imagination.
Will these teachings have a long lasting impact on their lives? Is this approach really appropriate for school aged children? It is hard to say. All I know is that many of us adults find ourselves struggling to control our minds and unable to deal with conflict. NVC and visualization could definitely serve as an added tool in our journey toward a better and happier mental state.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
DAY 40 - RESPECTING YOUR LIMITS
Day 40
Monday afternoon, my friend Donna asked me if I wanted to bike up the mountain with her. Since I began this blog, I’ve been trying to adopt a new attitude. Whenever someone suggests an activity, I automatically accept. I’ve decided to challenge myself and go against my natural lazy tendency! So, I accepted.
I consider myself being in average shape. I exercise regularly. Generally, I go running about three times a week for 25 minutes. I love running. I always feel great afterwards. I had gone up the mountain with Donna once before in the summer. I had found it a little difficult, but I was able to reach the top.
I had just finished having lunch and when we were biking toward the bottom of the mountain, I felt it wasn’t going to be easy. As we began the ascent, I noticed the muddy ground was slowing us down and increasing the level of difficulty. I was chit chatting with Donna, telling her about my weekend, trying to keep my mind off the atrocious pain in my thighs and the quick acceleration of my heartbeat. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to get to the top. I was thinking: “I am invincible! My mind is going to win the battle over my body. I can do this. Yes, I can! ” And then… I began feeling very nauseous so I had no choice but to bring myself to a halt. Through my panting I heard myself whisper the words LOOSER.
I climbed off my bike and started sweating profusely, feeling dizzy and very nauseated. I sat down under a tree and stayed there until I was ready to go back home. My legs were shaking and I felt as though a truck had run me over. All evening, I felt exhausted as if I had run a marathon. For some reason, I didn’t have a very restful sleep. Both my daughters woke up at some point during the night; I had the strangest dreams; I felt I was awake most of the night!
Everybody has their own limits. It is true that, at times, you need to push yourself in order to progress. However, it is imperative to always respect your body and to be non judgmental about your limitations. All right, so I’m not a super-dooper athlete with a sculpted body and an invincible mind! I think I already knew that.
Inner peace comes from knowing and respecting who you are, with all your limits, by allowing gradual transformation when you set yourself a goal, but by always staying in touch with the messages sent by your body and your mind. Getting in better shape might be my ultimate objective…but I should probably start with something easier than biking up the mountain, after a meal, on a muddy, rainy, cold and windy, fall day.
Monday afternoon, my friend Donna asked me if I wanted to bike up the mountain with her. Since I began this blog, I’ve been trying to adopt a new attitude. Whenever someone suggests an activity, I automatically accept. I’ve decided to challenge myself and go against my natural lazy tendency! So, I accepted.
I consider myself being in average shape. I exercise regularly. Generally, I go running about three times a week for 25 minutes. I love running. I always feel great afterwards. I had gone up the mountain with Donna once before in the summer. I had found it a little difficult, but I was able to reach the top.
I had just finished having lunch and when we were biking toward the bottom of the mountain, I felt it wasn’t going to be easy. As we began the ascent, I noticed the muddy ground was slowing us down and increasing the level of difficulty. I was chit chatting with Donna, telling her about my weekend, trying to keep my mind off the atrocious pain in my thighs and the quick acceleration of my heartbeat. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to get to the top. I was thinking: “I am invincible! My mind is going to win the battle over my body. I can do this. Yes, I can! ” And then… I began feeling very nauseous so I had no choice but to bring myself to a halt. Through my panting I heard myself whisper the words LOOSER.
I climbed off my bike and started sweating profusely, feeling dizzy and very nauseated. I sat down under a tree and stayed there until I was ready to go back home. My legs were shaking and I felt as though a truck had run me over. All evening, I felt exhausted as if I had run a marathon. For some reason, I didn’t have a very restful sleep. Both my daughters woke up at some point during the night; I had the strangest dreams; I felt I was awake most of the night!
Everybody has their own limits. It is true that, at times, you need to push yourself in order to progress. However, it is imperative to always respect your body and to be non judgmental about your limitations. All right, so I’m not a super-dooper athlete with a sculpted body and an invincible mind! I think I already knew that.
Inner peace comes from knowing and respecting who you are, with all your limits, by allowing gradual transformation when you set yourself a goal, but by always staying in touch with the messages sent by your body and your mind. Getting in better shape might be my ultimate objective…but I should probably start with something easier than biking up the mountain, after a meal, on a muddy, rainy, cold and windy, fall day.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Day 39-READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!
Day 39
I don’t always take the time to play with my kids. I feel like most of my life is spent on efficiency mode. Especially on weekdays when all the minutes of the day are accounted for.
Last night, I was alone with my 6-year-old daughter. One of her homework required playing cards. After she had finished, she asked me if we could keep on playing. Obviously, it was a school night, so my first reaction, as a very responsible parent, was to look at the time to make sure it wasn’t too late for us to begin another game.
As I was trying to think about which game we could play, I suddenly had a flash. I began building a card castle. I used to love doing this when I was a child. I remember spending hours trying to build it as high as possible, half folding the cards to make the construction more solid. Obviously, my daughter quickly got involved. She too was trying to develop her own technique and, every time the castle would come crashing down, she would burst into a hearty laughter.
It made me think of how as a child; I couldn’t wait to grow up. Why in hell did I think adulthood was such an exciting period of life, I don’t know. All I do know is that if we were able to view life from a child’s perspective, we would probably be able to access happiness more easily.
Last weekend, we were in the country with my brother-in-law and his family. The children were outside the whole weekend working on an incredible project: they were building a tipi. They took fallen branches, placed them, bent them, cut them, tangled them and created an impressive structure that they covered with leaves. When they had completed their endeavour, they placed little pieces of wood inside the tipi to sit on and enjoyed an afternoon snack.
What did we, mature grown-ups, do? We enjoyed nature: we walked in the mountains, breathed fresh air, and marvelled at the scenery. And then we cooked, cleaned, meditated, did some yoga, took warm baths. Basically, we performed our normal duties and added some activities to try to get rid of all our accumulated stress.
Looking at both sets of life, I wonder if we wouldn’t benefit from sometimes playing like children: rolling down a hill on our stomach, building a snowman, skipping rope, playing elastics, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. Do these activities have a purpose? No! And this is why we should indulge in them and make them part of our HAPPY lives!
I don’t always take the time to play with my kids. I feel like most of my life is spent on efficiency mode. Especially on weekdays when all the minutes of the day are accounted for.
Last night, I was alone with my 6-year-old daughter. One of her homework required playing cards. After she had finished, she asked me if we could keep on playing. Obviously, it was a school night, so my first reaction, as a very responsible parent, was to look at the time to make sure it wasn’t too late for us to begin another game.
As I was trying to think about which game we could play, I suddenly had a flash. I began building a card castle. I used to love doing this when I was a child. I remember spending hours trying to build it as high as possible, half folding the cards to make the construction more solid. Obviously, my daughter quickly got involved. She too was trying to develop her own technique and, every time the castle would come crashing down, she would burst into a hearty laughter.
It made me think of how as a child; I couldn’t wait to grow up. Why in hell did I think adulthood was such an exciting period of life, I don’t know. All I do know is that if we were able to view life from a child’s perspective, we would probably be able to access happiness more easily.
Last weekend, we were in the country with my brother-in-law and his family. The children were outside the whole weekend working on an incredible project: they were building a tipi. They took fallen branches, placed them, bent them, cut them, tangled them and created an impressive structure that they covered with leaves. When they had completed their endeavour, they placed little pieces of wood inside the tipi to sit on and enjoyed an afternoon snack.
What did we, mature grown-ups, do? We enjoyed nature: we walked in the mountains, breathed fresh air, and marvelled at the scenery. And then we cooked, cleaned, meditated, did some yoga, took warm baths. Basically, we performed our normal duties and added some activities to try to get rid of all our accumulated stress.
Looking at both sets of life, I wonder if we wouldn’t benefit from sometimes playing like children: rolling down a hill on our stomach, building a snowman, skipping rope, playing elastics, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. Do these activities have a purpose? No! And this is why we should indulge in them and make them part of our HAPPY lives!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
DAY 38 - MANDALAS
Day 38
Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve noticed one of my students colouring mandalas during class. I sometimes doodle at meetings or when I speak on the phone, so I was never bothered by it. Some of us have the ability to focus on more than one thing at the same time...mainly women, apparently (sorry gentlemen). Anyway, today, this same student made an oral presentation about her passion: mandalas.
I discovered the origin and mental benefits of this art form. Mandala is a Sanskrit word which means circle. Not at all incidentally, its shape is circular and generally geometrical. Mandalas originated in India but were mainly used in Tibetan Buddhism. For more than 2000 years, they have served as a tool for meditation.
Carl Gustav Jung, the famous psychiatrist, saw the mandala as a “representation of the unconscious self” and he believed that his own paintings of mandalas enabled him to identify emotional disorders and work towards the wholeness in personality.
In her presentation, my student showed us how the universe is filled with geometrical shapes and patterns (in stars, planets, flowers, snowflakes, the eye, the womb, etc.) and that mandalas are, in fact, a representation of this universe.
Keeping these two views in mind, meditating with a mandala could help us individually and wholesomely connect with the universe. Isn't that profound? A little New Age, but still very profound.
The matter of the fact is, clinical trials have shown the health benefits of meditation: it increases the immune system, reduces stress, reduces pain, lowers blood pressure, stimulates the release of melatonin, a hormone believed to slow cell aging and promote restful sleep, promotes happiness, etc.
For that reason, I have been meditating every day for the past month, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. I usually try to quiet my mind by repeating a mantra, focusing on my breathing or simply letting go of my thoughts as they enter my mind. It sometimes works. But other times, I feel like I am a knight with a sword, at battle with the future and the past, trying to remain in the present!
I will now print out some mandalas and incorporate this new approach in my meditation strategies. If it doesn’t work, at least I will be looking at something pretty for 20 minutes instead of only battling with my thoughts!
Mandala images: http://www.google.ca/images?hl=fr&q=mandalas&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=6XfATLX0GMT7lwe-sPXUCg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBQQsAQwAA
Carl Gustav Jung, Memories, Dreams reflections, pp.186-197
Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve noticed one of my students colouring mandalas during class. I sometimes doodle at meetings or when I speak on the phone, so I was never bothered by it. Some of us have the ability to focus on more than one thing at the same time...mainly women, apparently (sorry gentlemen). Anyway, today, this same student made an oral presentation about her passion: mandalas.
I discovered the origin and mental benefits of this art form. Mandala is a Sanskrit word which means circle. Not at all incidentally, its shape is circular and generally geometrical. Mandalas originated in India but were mainly used in Tibetan Buddhism. For more than 2000 years, they have served as a tool for meditation.
Carl Gustav Jung, the famous psychiatrist, saw the mandala as a “representation of the unconscious self” and he believed that his own paintings of mandalas enabled him to identify emotional disorders and work towards the wholeness in personality.
In her presentation, my student showed us how the universe is filled with geometrical shapes and patterns (in stars, planets, flowers, snowflakes, the eye, the womb, etc.) and that mandalas are, in fact, a representation of this universe.
Keeping these two views in mind, meditating with a mandala could help us individually and wholesomely connect with the universe. Isn't that profound? A little New Age, but still very profound.
The matter of the fact is, clinical trials have shown the health benefits of meditation: it increases the immune system, reduces stress, reduces pain, lowers blood pressure, stimulates the release of melatonin, a hormone believed to slow cell aging and promote restful sleep, promotes happiness, etc.
For that reason, I have been meditating every day for the past month, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. I usually try to quiet my mind by repeating a mantra, focusing on my breathing or simply letting go of my thoughts as they enter my mind. It sometimes works. But other times, I feel like I am a knight with a sword, at battle with the future and the past, trying to remain in the present!
I will now print out some mandalas and incorporate this new approach in my meditation strategies. If it doesn’t work, at least I will be looking at something pretty for 20 minutes instead of only battling with my thoughts!
Mandala images: http://www.google.ca/images?hl=fr&q=mandalas&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=6XfATLX0GMT7lwe-sPXUCg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBQQsAQwAA
Carl Gustav Jung, Memories, Dreams reflections, pp.186-197
Monday, October 25, 2010
DAY 37 - MANAGING YOUR ANGER
Day 37
When I’m angry, I have the ability to explode. It’s in my blood! When I was young, my best friend Christina and I used to have really explosive arguments. We would scream at each other so loud my eardrums would end up buzzing. She comes from an even more vocal family than me. I remember when we had parties; her father would scare away-unwanted people just with his deep loud Hungarian-colored tone of voice! Once, I recall him telling uninvited troublemakers with his thick angry Hungarian accent: “If you don’t leave right away, I eat you for breakfast!”
But is anger a feeling one should express? Is it positive or negative to lash out when this emotion arises? It is known that bottling emotions has perverse effects. When unexpressed, anger could turn itself against us through addictions: food, drugs, cigarettes, sex, etc. On the other hand, expressing anger as it starts to escalate could lead to an uncontrolled overflow of negative words and actions! These words could end up tarnishing or even destroying relationships.
All inner turmoil needs to be released one way or another. Some people will passively express their frustrations through a bad joke or a hurtful comment. Sometimes, the object of anger is not even you, but you’re just caught in the crossfire. Other people will just use the silent treatment. No matter how it is done, angry energy will always find a way out.
Managing anger is not an easy task. This is the reason why it is sometimes better to wait a while before confronting the person who has triggered it. It gives you an opportunity to take the time to reflect more calmly on the situation.
Expressing yourself without getting emotional or confrontational, carefully choosing your words when expressing your feeling, can often be challenging. However, by practicing this healthy communication skill, you could get rid of the negative emotion associated with an uncontrolled expression of anger, help create a more peaceful environment and give way to a healthier, happier state of mind.
When I’m angry, I have the ability to explode. It’s in my blood! When I was young, my best friend Christina and I used to have really explosive arguments. We would scream at each other so loud my eardrums would end up buzzing. She comes from an even more vocal family than me. I remember when we had parties; her father would scare away-unwanted people just with his deep loud Hungarian-colored tone of voice! Once, I recall him telling uninvited troublemakers with his thick angry Hungarian accent: “If you don’t leave right away, I eat you for breakfast!”
But is anger a feeling one should express? Is it positive or negative to lash out when this emotion arises? It is known that bottling emotions has perverse effects. When unexpressed, anger could turn itself against us through addictions: food, drugs, cigarettes, sex, etc. On the other hand, expressing anger as it starts to escalate could lead to an uncontrolled overflow of negative words and actions! These words could end up tarnishing or even destroying relationships.
All inner turmoil needs to be released one way or another. Some people will passively express their frustrations through a bad joke or a hurtful comment. Sometimes, the object of anger is not even you, but you’re just caught in the crossfire. Other people will just use the silent treatment. No matter how it is done, angry energy will always find a way out.
Managing anger is not an easy task. This is the reason why it is sometimes better to wait a while before confronting the person who has triggered it. It gives you an opportunity to take the time to reflect more calmly on the situation.
Expressing yourself without getting emotional or confrontational, carefully choosing your words when expressing your feeling, can often be challenging. However, by practicing this healthy communication skill, you could get rid of the negative emotion associated with an uncontrolled expression of anger, help create a more peaceful environment and give way to a healthier, happier state of mind.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
DAY 36 - CAN MONEY BUY HAPPINESS?
Day 36
As I was questioning myself about this topic, my colleague Josie intervened: « Well, she said, those who think money can’t buy happiness, simply don’t know where to shop. » It is true that being able to provide yourself and your family with a minimum amount of comfort does bring some happiness. Many studies have established a link between happiness and wealth. As a matter of fact, it seems that the happiest countries are the wealthiest. In a study conducted by Gallup, it was found that Denmark, which ranks amongst the richest countries per capita, is the happiest, along with Sweden, Finland, Norway and The Netherlands. Two-third of the respondents in these nations reported that they were thriving, not just economically, but in how they felt about their daily life. Canada ranked 8th and the U.S 14th.
I have to say that the result of this poll surprised me a tiny bit. I have never visited any of the Scandinavian countries, but the image I have of that part of the world mainly comes from Swedish films I’ve seen, which I recall being dark and slow-paced. However, keeping in mind that having your basic needs met gives you a chance to struggle less and enjoy more, it only seems logical that the richest would be the happiest.
In our consumer’s world, many people suffer from money-related stress. Our basic needs now include such things as computers, internet, cell phones, etc. No wonder more and more people are facing financial difficulties.
Not being worried about meeting your monetary obligations would certainly help alleviate tension. So, yes, in that perspective, having more wealth could probably be helpful in providing a deeper sense of well-being.
We have all wondered at one time or another what we would do if we won a million dollars. This dream invariably has people quitting their job, traveling, moving, shopping, donating and definitely picturing themselves in a happier state of mine. Statistics show that those who have won large amounts of money are not any happier, maybe at the beginning, but the exhilaration quickly wears off. Very often, these people lose a sense of purpose. So, does money buy happiness? It might help you get closer to it, but to reach it and stay there, you’re the one who needs to do the work!!!!
http://www.forbes.com/2010/07/14/world-happiest-countries-lifestyle-realestate-gallup-table.html
As I was questioning myself about this topic, my colleague Josie intervened: « Well, she said, those who think money can’t buy happiness, simply don’t know where to shop. » It is true that being able to provide yourself and your family with a minimum amount of comfort does bring some happiness. Many studies have established a link between happiness and wealth. As a matter of fact, it seems that the happiest countries are the wealthiest. In a study conducted by Gallup, it was found that Denmark, which ranks amongst the richest countries per capita, is the happiest, along with Sweden, Finland, Norway and The Netherlands. Two-third of the respondents in these nations reported that they were thriving, not just economically, but in how they felt about their daily life. Canada ranked 8th and the U.S 14th.
I have to say that the result of this poll surprised me a tiny bit. I have never visited any of the Scandinavian countries, but the image I have of that part of the world mainly comes from Swedish films I’ve seen, which I recall being dark and slow-paced. However, keeping in mind that having your basic needs met gives you a chance to struggle less and enjoy more, it only seems logical that the richest would be the happiest.
In our consumer’s world, many people suffer from money-related stress. Our basic needs now include such things as computers, internet, cell phones, etc. No wonder more and more people are facing financial difficulties.
Not being worried about meeting your monetary obligations would certainly help alleviate tension. So, yes, in that perspective, having more wealth could probably be helpful in providing a deeper sense of well-being.
We have all wondered at one time or another what we would do if we won a million dollars. This dream invariably has people quitting their job, traveling, moving, shopping, donating and definitely picturing themselves in a happier state of mine. Statistics show that those who have won large amounts of money are not any happier, maybe at the beginning, but the exhilaration quickly wears off. Very often, these people lose a sense of purpose. So, does money buy happiness? It might help you get closer to it, but to reach it and stay there, you’re the one who needs to do the work!!!!
http://www.forbes.com/2010/07/14/world-happiest-countries-lifestyle-realestate-gallup-table.html
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Day 35-THE YIN SEASON HAS BEGUN
Day 35
This weekend, we are back in the country with my brother in-law, my best friend Christina and their children. Since our last encounter with nature two weeks ago, the colorful fall has slowly drifted away and given way to the gusty winds, dark skies and naked trees of late October. This time of year seems to carry on its shoulders the burden of all the world’s suffering.
According to the Taoist philosophy, the yin season has begun. The lack of sunlight and the cold weather tend to strip us of all of our vitality. Many people suffer from seasonal depression because of this lack of light and warmth.
To maintain our bodily and spiritual balance, it is essential to find ways to replenish this loss of energy. Choosing warming foods, or in Taoist terms yang-strengthening foods, such as soups, slow-simmered stews, beans, roasted root vegetables and adding yang spices such as garlic, ginger, black pepper, cloves, and basil can all help increase our energy level and recreate balance. Salads and all cooling foods should be avoided.
It is also the time to surround ourselves with plants, lively colors, candles, light and uplifting music. Exercising is also an efficient way to get reenergized. With the holiday season around the corner, it is essential to remember that, because of the cold and the lack of sunlight, we need to find ways to get and preserve energy. Going to bed late for an extended period of time could end up depleting us of our much-needed vigor and result in an energetic imbalance.
Winter is coming and it is only by accepting this shifting of nature’s energy and by adapting ourselves to it that we can maintain our spiritual and physical balance.
This weekend, we are back in the country with my brother in-law, my best friend Christina and their children. Since our last encounter with nature two weeks ago, the colorful fall has slowly drifted away and given way to the gusty winds, dark skies and naked trees of late October. This time of year seems to carry on its shoulders the burden of all the world’s suffering.
According to the Taoist philosophy, the yin season has begun. The lack of sunlight and the cold weather tend to strip us of all of our vitality. Many people suffer from seasonal depression because of this lack of light and warmth.
To maintain our bodily and spiritual balance, it is essential to find ways to replenish this loss of energy. Choosing warming foods, or in Taoist terms yang-strengthening foods, such as soups, slow-simmered stews, beans, roasted root vegetables and adding yang spices such as garlic, ginger, black pepper, cloves, and basil can all help increase our energy level and recreate balance. Salads and all cooling foods should be avoided.
It is also the time to surround ourselves with plants, lively colors, candles, light and uplifting music. Exercising is also an efficient way to get reenergized. With the holiday season around the corner, it is essential to remember that, because of the cold and the lack of sunlight, we need to find ways to get and preserve energy. Going to bed late for an extended period of time could end up depleting us of our much-needed vigor and result in an energetic imbalance.
Winter is coming and it is only by accepting this shifting of nature’s energy and by adapting ourselves to it that we can maintain our spiritual and physical balance.
Friday, October 22, 2010
DAY 34 - PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
Day 34
I hate waiting! As you can imagine, line ups are particularly painful for me. So many times, I will literally alter my plans so I don’t have to suffer this extended period of immobility.
If I’m at the supermarket, I hold myself back not to help people ahead of me empty their basket. In my car, when in traffic, I sometimes picture myself with a rocket strapped onto my back flying over all those metal boxes and sticking out my tongue like an immature child at all the people who unknowingly contributed to my frustration.
Living in the city is definitely a stress-inducing ordeal. All studies with rats conclude that a minimal amount of living space is necessary for peace of mind. The truth is not all of us have the desire to move to a place where living space is not an issue. The city offers much more than just concrete and overcrowded venues. It has a soul that its lovers deeply cherish.
So, what should we do when confronted with the unavoidable vagaries of urban life. Whether you’re late for work or simply waiting impatiently to get back home, in your car, on the bus or on the metro, there are plenty of possible distractions: listening to music or the radio, reading, singing, etc.
It is more challenging to go through the supermarket experience on a Saturday afternoon without coming back home with an increased stress level. I have found planning my weekly meals, observing and imagining the life of people around me or simply socializing with someone next to me who seems interesting, are helpful ways to forget about my annoyance with the situation.
No matter if it is at the doctor’s office, the supermarket or the restaurant, when line ups are unavoidable, you’re better off trying to preoccupy yourself with something else than the never ending stream of people in front of you! Time will then seem to pass faster and you might even catch yourself fall into a state of contentment.
I hate waiting! As you can imagine, line ups are particularly painful for me. So many times, I will literally alter my plans so I don’t have to suffer this extended period of immobility.
If I’m at the supermarket, I hold myself back not to help people ahead of me empty their basket. In my car, when in traffic, I sometimes picture myself with a rocket strapped onto my back flying over all those metal boxes and sticking out my tongue like an immature child at all the people who unknowingly contributed to my frustration.
Living in the city is definitely a stress-inducing ordeal. All studies with rats conclude that a minimal amount of living space is necessary for peace of mind. The truth is not all of us have the desire to move to a place where living space is not an issue. The city offers much more than just concrete and overcrowded venues. It has a soul that its lovers deeply cherish.
So, what should we do when confronted with the unavoidable vagaries of urban life. Whether you’re late for work or simply waiting impatiently to get back home, in your car, on the bus or on the metro, there are plenty of possible distractions: listening to music or the radio, reading, singing, etc.
It is more challenging to go through the supermarket experience on a Saturday afternoon without coming back home with an increased stress level. I have found planning my weekly meals, observing and imagining the life of people around me or simply socializing with someone next to me who seems interesting, are helpful ways to forget about my annoyance with the situation.
No matter if it is at the doctor’s office, the supermarket or the restaurant, when line ups are unavoidable, you’re better off trying to preoccupy yourself with something else than the never ending stream of people in front of you! Time will then seem to pass faster and you might even catch yourself fall into a state of contentment.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
DAY 33 - CONTROL OR NO CONTROL... THAT IS THE QUESTION
Day 33
I had never heard about Epictetus until I started getting interested in happiness. Epictetus (I love saying the name) was a Greek Stoic philosopher who lived from 55AD to 135 AD. As many philosophers, he did not write his own theories. One of his pupils, by the name of Arrianus, wrote about his teachings in two books: the Discourses and the Handbook. Epictetus began his life as a slave but still managed to attend lectures by Stoic philosopher Rufus until he was freed. He then began teaching philosophy in Rome, and later on, founded a philosophy school in Greece.
Epictetus believed that happiness comes from attaining wisdom, which he defines as the ability to truly understand and accept that you can only control your own actions and not other people’s actions or even fate. He also believed that it is when we surrender our emotional attachment to things that are beyond our power to control, that we are able to maintain our tranquillity of mind.
There are many things we have power over. We can choose the food we eat, the people we befriend, the clothes we wear, the words we say, the activities we participate in. We can decide to live in the Bahamas for a year, to move to the suburbs, to give our life savings to a cause, to get plastic surgery, to run a marathon. And with every decision we make, we have to be ready to assume the consequences; if you give up all your savings, you just might end up broke!
On the other hand, there are many things we have no control over. For instance the weather! We can complain all we want when it is minus 35, it is not going to change anything and, as a matter of fact, complaining about it only adds to our misery! It is also not useful to handout a Proper Public Behaviour Manual to people who we deem would benefit from it; it wouldn’t change anything. We cannot control how people act.
Some people need to always feel in control. And, when they are not, they start feeling anxious, nervous and stressed out! When we were trapped in the cable car a couple of weekends ago, we didn’t have any control! We couldn’t do anything but wait. We were up there, my brother, my sister-in-law, my nieces, my nephew, my daughters and I, stuck in mid air and…. I began singing. I thought, if I’m going to be there for a while, I want some entertainment!
Happiness is the ability to make choices that will bring us joy, always evaluating the possible consequences of our actions on our life and that of others. Happiness is also being able to learn to surrender emotionally when we are confronted with situations beyond our control.
I had never heard about Epictetus until I started getting interested in happiness. Epictetus (I love saying the name) was a Greek Stoic philosopher who lived from 55AD to 135 AD. As many philosophers, he did not write his own theories. One of his pupils, by the name of Arrianus, wrote about his teachings in two books: the Discourses and the Handbook. Epictetus began his life as a slave but still managed to attend lectures by Stoic philosopher Rufus until he was freed. He then began teaching philosophy in Rome, and later on, founded a philosophy school in Greece.
Epictetus believed that happiness comes from attaining wisdom, which he defines as the ability to truly understand and accept that you can only control your own actions and not other people’s actions or even fate. He also believed that it is when we surrender our emotional attachment to things that are beyond our power to control, that we are able to maintain our tranquillity of mind.
There are many things we have power over. We can choose the food we eat, the people we befriend, the clothes we wear, the words we say, the activities we participate in. We can decide to live in the Bahamas for a year, to move to the suburbs, to give our life savings to a cause, to get plastic surgery, to run a marathon. And with every decision we make, we have to be ready to assume the consequences; if you give up all your savings, you just might end up broke!
On the other hand, there are many things we have no control over. For instance the weather! We can complain all we want when it is minus 35, it is not going to change anything and, as a matter of fact, complaining about it only adds to our misery! It is also not useful to handout a Proper Public Behaviour Manual to people who we deem would benefit from it; it wouldn’t change anything. We cannot control how people act.
Some people need to always feel in control. And, when they are not, they start feeling anxious, nervous and stressed out! When we were trapped in the cable car a couple of weekends ago, we didn’t have any control! We couldn’t do anything but wait. We were up there, my brother, my sister-in-law, my nieces, my nephew, my daughters and I, stuck in mid air and…. I began singing. I thought, if I’m going to be there for a while, I want some entertainment!
Happiness is the ability to make choices that will bring us joy, always evaluating the possible consequences of our actions on our life and that of others. Happiness is also being able to learn to surrender emotionally when we are confronted with situations beyond our control.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
DAY 32 - COLOURING YOUR WORLD!
Day 32
Can colour affect our mood? We’ve all heard about colour therapy. Some scientists believe in its effectiveness, while others doubt its long-term benefits. Yet, several ancient cultures, including the Egyptians, Chinese and Indians, practised chromotherapy (use of colours to heal). Nowadays, this ancient practise has resurfaced, but it is still perceived as being a ‘New Age’ alternative treatment.
Einstein wrote: « Everything in life is vibration ». It cannot be disputed that colour holds a vibration, an energy and, although, different cultures will have different symbolic associations with a specific colour, westerners tend to have a similar frame of reference. This is the reason why colour is so carefully chosen by many marketing specialists when designing a product, a web site or even when creating an image for a politician.
Here is a brief list of emotions associated with each colour:
- Red represents vitality, courage and self-confidence.
- Orange is said to provide happiness and increase creativity.
- Yellow increases optimism, concentration and communication.
- Green brings in balance, harmony and alleviates depression.
- Blue represents calm, relaxation, peace and knowledge.
- Indigo is the colour of intuition, mysticism and understanding.
- Violet represents beauty, creativity and inspiration.
- White is associated with purity and mental clarity.
- Black represents death but also sophistication.
I have always been attracted to darker colours in my wardrobe. Is it because I am sophisticated, or is it only because darker tones make me look thinner? When I choose a piece of clothing, I primarily pay attention to the way it fits me. The colour is often secondary.
Could colour have a deep long-lasting impact on happiness, maybe not! However, if the image we project can have the slightest influence on how we feel, then brighter tones could definitely bring us a little more energy when we’re feeling gloomy! So long live red, orange and yellow! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go shopping!
Can colour affect our mood? We’ve all heard about colour therapy. Some scientists believe in its effectiveness, while others doubt its long-term benefits. Yet, several ancient cultures, including the Egyptians, Chinese and Indians, practised chromotherapy (use of colours to heal). Nowadays, this ancient practise has resurfaced, but it is still perceived as being a ‘New Age’ alternative treatment.
Einstein wrote: « Everything in life is vibration ». It cannot be disputed that colour holds a vibration, an energy and, although, different cultures will have different symbolic associations with a specific colour, westerners tend to have a similar frame of reference. This is the reason why colour is so carefully chosen by many marketing specialists when designing a product, a web site or even when creating an image for a politician.
Here is a brief list of emotions associated with each colour:
- Red represents vitality, courage and self-confidence.
- Orange is said to provide happiness and increase creativity.
- Yellow increases optimism, concentration and communication.
- Green brings in balance, harmony and alleviates depression.
- Blue represents calm, relaxation, peace and knowledge.
- Indigo is the colour of intuition, mysticism and understanding.
- Violet represents beauty, creativity and inspiration.
- White is associated with purity and mental clarity.
- Black represents death but also sophistication.
I have always been attracted to darker colours in my wardrobe. Is it because I am sophisticated, or is it only because darker tones make me look thinner? When I choose a piece of clothing, I primarily pay attention to the way it fits me. The colour is often secondary.
Could colour have a deep long-lasting impact on happiness, maybe not! However, if the image we project can have the slightest influence on how we feel, then brighter tones could definitely bring us a little more energy when we’re feeling gloomy! So long live red, orange and yellow! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go shopping!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
DAY 31 - SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS
Day 31
Last Friday, a student of mine gave me a 4-leaf clover as a present. I was surprised and touched. I have never found a 4-leaf clover. I remember, as a child, spending hours looking for one in the grass. Since there is only one 4-leaf clover per 10,000 three-leaf clovers, you really have to be lucky to stumble across one...
Superstitions have long been part of human beliefs. And although most superstitions are not based on reason or knowledge, it seems that many people have incorporated them in their lives, through rituals or behaviours, without realizing it. We have all crossed our fingers, knocked on wood, avoided walking under a ladder, etc. Doesn’t Celine Dion have to go through a series of rituals before she goes on stage to insure her success?
I believe superstitions to be nonsense... but then again, I come from an Egyptian family. And, as you might know, Egyptians, as many Mediterranean cultures, are renowned for their superstitious beliefs. I learned at a very young age that you shouldn’t cut your nails after sunset; that it could bring bad luck. This belief, I found out, comes from the fact that, in the past, people couldn’t see very well at night, so they often cut themselves if they did it in the dark. Every time I notice my children have long nails and it is nighttime, I sigh. I cannot bring myself to do it. As irrational as this superstition is, I have internalized it so much, that I can’t seem to challenge it...
With the arrival of consumer’s society, superstitions have turned into a business... Whether it is amulets, talismans, rabbit’s foot, saint relics, precious stones, people are now buying luck, protection and happiness. We are so desperate to find ways to better our lives that if we feel we can buy our way to felicity, why not give it a try...
If, as George Orwell said, « Myths which are believed in tend to become true », then I guess good luck charms could help people who believe in their magical powers increase their fortune and happiness. However, no one has ever found a job only by holding a relic of St-Cajetan, patron saint of the unemployed and job seekers. You also need to take concrete action in order to reach your goals.
Will this 4-leaf clover bring me luck? I’m preciously keeping it in my notebook, just in case!
Last Friday, a student of mine gave me a 4-leaf clover as a present. I was surprised and touched. I have never found a 4-leaf clover. I remember, as a child, spending hours looking for one in the grass. Since there is only one 4-leaf clover per 10,000 three-leaf clovers, you really have to be lucky to stumble across one...
Superstitions have long been part of human beliefs. And although most superstitions are not based on reason or knowledge, it seems that many people have incorporated them in their lives, through rituals or behaviours, without realizing it. We have all crossed our fingers, knocked on wood, avoided walking under a ladder, etc. Doesn’t Celine Dion have to go through a series of rituals before she goes on stage to insure her success?
I believe superstitions to be nonsense... but then again, I come from an Egyptian family. And, as you might know, Egyptians, as many Mediterranean cultures, are renowned for their superstitious beliefs. I learned at a very young age that you shouldn’t cut your nails after sunset; that it could bring bad luck. This belief, I found out, comes from the fact that, in the past, people couldn’t see very well at night, so they often cut themselves if they did it in the dark. Every time I notice my children have long nails and it is nighttime, I sigh. I cannot bring myself to do it. As irrational as this superstition is, I have internalized it so much, that I can’t seem to challenge it...
With the arrival of consumer’s society, superstitions have turned into a business... Whether it is amulets, talismans, rabbit’s foot, saint relics, precious stones, people are now buying luck, protection and happiness. We are so desperate to find ways to better our lives that if we feel we can buy our way to felicity, why not give it a try...
If, as George Orwell said, « Myths which are believed in tend to become true », then I guess good luck charms could help people who believe in their magical powers increase their fortune and happiness. However, no one has ever found a job only by holding a relic of St-Cajetan, patron saint of the unemployed and job seekers. You also need to take concrete action in order to reach your goals.
Will this 4-leaf clover bring me luck? I’m preciously keeping it in my notebook, just in case!
Monday, October 18, 2010
DAY 30 - ON THE ROAD TO COLLECTIVE HAPPINESS
Day 30
Last night I attended a fundraising concert for the Canadian Youth Delegation who is looking for ways to finance its participation in the International UN Conference on climate change that will be held next month in Cancun. My cousin Marie-Marguerite, one of the organisers of the event and a Canadian youth delegate, is 26 years old and an environmental activist.
The evening began with her brother’s band called “A Bunch of Guys” (what a great name!) As I was listening to them interpret cover songs from Bob Marley and the Beatles, I thought of how individualistic our society has become as compared to the 60’s and 70’s. I was also wondering if, maybe, these young activists are planting seeds of hope for the return of social awareness and action.
I’m the first one to speak in the first person! I want to be happy. I am looking for inner peace. I will think of I so that I could feel better. We, as a society, have been thinking so much in terms of our own success and happiness, that we have forgotten that we are social beings who need to work collectively in order to attain a deeper sense of well-being. We are not individual creatures living independently from one another. We are all interconnected and our actions can have repercussions on other people’s lives and on our collective future.
The environmental disaster in which we are engulfed now is the result of individualistic ambition and greed. It is time for us to face up to the collective challenges that lie ahead. I’m not suggesting we should all go to the streets and spend our time protesting, as they did in the 60’s. But individual happiness cannot be separated from collective well-being. So, whether it is by volunteering, donating money, being active politically or simply by making more ecological choices, every one needs to perform actions that will positively impact society in order to get a deeper sense of felicity.
Last night I attended a fundraising concert for the Canadian Youth Delegation who is looking for ways to finance its participation in the International UN Conference on climate change that will be held next month in Cancun. My cousin Marie-Marguerite, one of the organisers of the event and a Canadian youth delegate, is 26 years old and an environmental activist.
The evening began with her brother’s band called “A Bunch of Guys” (what a great name!) As I was listening to them interpret cover songs from Bob Marley and the Beatles, I thought of how individualistic our society has become as compared to the 60’s and 70’s. I was also wondering if, maybe, these young activists are planting seeds of hope for the return of social awareness and action.
I’m the first one to speak in the first person! I want to be happy. I am looking for inner peace. I will think of I so that I could feel better. We, as a society, have been thinking so much in terms of our own success and happiness, that we have forgotten that we are social beings who need to work collectively in order to attain a deeper sense of well-being. We are not individual creatures living independently from one another. We are all interconnected and our actions can have repercussions on other people’s lives and on our collective future.
The environmental disaster in which we are engulfed now is the result of individualistic ambition and greed. It is time for us to face up to the collective challenges that lie ahead. I’m not suggesting we should all go to the streets and spend our time protesting, as they did in the 60’s. But individual happiness cannot be separated from collective well-being. So, whether it is by volunteering, donating money, being active politically or simply by making more ecological choices, every one needs to perform actions that will positively impact society in order to get a deeper sense of felicity.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
DAY 29 - LET’S GET CHEMICAL!
Day 29
Of course, our attitude toward life has an impact on our state of mind. However, we can also help increase our happiness by choosing foods and activities that will promote the release of serotonin and dopamine in our brain. These two neurotransmitters both play a role in enhancing the feeling of well-being.
Many foods contain tryptophan which, when taken, will allow the release of serotonin in the brain: turkey, flaxseed/ flaxseed oil, bananas, eggs, salmon, herring, sardines, sour cherries, free range beef, and, my personal favorite, dark chocolate! I finally have an excuse to eat it every single day! Research shows that eating a little piece of chocolate a containing at least 60 % to 75% of cocoa, not only helps in improving the mood, but it also decreases blood pressure, anxiety and fatigue! Hurray!
On the other hand, some food may have the opposite effect: wheat gluten, artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, which can block the formation of serotonin and cause headaches, insomnia, and depression, saturated fats, all forms of sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and processed foods.
As for physical activity, there’s no way around it, it has been proven: regular exercise is a natural mood booster and the easiest way to elevate your energy levels as well! Why doesn’t everybody just do it then? When I get physically active, whether it is an intense workout, yoga exercises or just a brisk walk, I always feel so much better. So what is stopping me? Mentally, it is not always easy to get going! I always seem to find something else to do: food shopping, laundry, cooking, etc.… But, if I’m going to work towards maximizing my happiness, I have to exercise regularly!
There are other joy enhancers… for instance, sunlight. This is why when you go down south, although people might suffer from poverty, they just seem to naturally have such a joie de vivre. It comes with the territory. Sleep is also important in the production of serotonin. Getting an uninterrupted 7 to 8 hour night sleep benefits the mind and the body! (I think someone should share this information with my daughters who seem to regularly come and see me in the middle of the night!) And of course, meditation…
There are so many things we can do to increase our well-being… It is just a matter of making conscious joy-enhancing choices, not only on a spiritual and psychological level, but also on a more practical chemical level!
Of course, our attitude toward life has an impact on our state of mind. However, we can also help increase our happiness by choosing foods and activities that will promote the release of serotonin and dopamine in our brain. These two neurotransmitters both play a role in enhancing the feeling of well-being.
Many foods contain tryptophan which, when taken, will allow the release of serotonin in the brain: turkey, flaxseed/ flaxseed oil, bananas, eggs, salmon, herring, sardines, sour cherries, free range beef, and, my personal favorite, dark chocolate! I finally have an excuse to eat it every single day! Research shows that eating a little piece of chocolate a containing at least 60 % to 75% of cocoa, not only helps in improving the mood, but it also decreases blood pressure, anxiety and fatigue! Hurray!
On the other hand, some food may have the opposite effect: wheat gluten, artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, which can block the formation of serotonin and cause headaches, insomnia, and depression, saturated fats, all forms of sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and processed foods.
As for physical activity, there’s no way around it, it has been proven: regular exercise is a natural mood booster and the easiest way to elevate your energy levels as well! Why doesn’t everybody just do it then? When I get physically active, whether it is an intense workout, yoga exercises or just a brisk walk, I always feel so much better. So what is stopping me? Mentally, it is not always easy to get going! I always seem to find something else to do: food shopping, laundry, cooking, etc.… But, if I’m going to work towards maximizing my happiness, I have to exercise regularly!
There are other joy enhancers… for instance, sunlight. This is why when you go down south, although people might suffer from poverty, they just seem to naturally have such a joie de vivre. It comes with the territory. Sleep is also important in the production of serotonin. Getting an uninterrupted 7 to 8 hour night sleep benefits the mind and the body! (I think someone should share this information with my daughters who seem to regularly come and see me in the middle of the night!) And of course, meditation…
There are so many things we can do to increase our well-being… It is just a matter of making conscious joy-enhancing choices, not only on a spiritual and psychological level, but also on a more practical chemical level!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
DAY 28 - FIGHTING THE “COUCH POTATO” SYNDROME!
Day 28
Last night, I went to a party. My husband couldn’t come for lack of babysitting, so I went with my dear cousin Serge. Initially, because the weather was so horrible, I hesitated to go. It was rainy and windy, the perfect weather to put on your pyjamas and watch a movie with a blanket and a cup of tea. However, I decided that, since winter is right around the corner, I would have plenty of opportunities to do that in a very near future.
Before I left, my daughters were watching me get ready, commenting on my outfit, suggesting different ones, helping me choose earrings and looking at me pluck my eyebrows, wondering if one day they too would have to suffer the pain of hair removal. It reminded me that very soon, they will be the ones going out, and I will be the one to watch them pluck their eyebrows.
We were amongst the first people to arrive. I never used to want to get to parties early. I was the type to arrive late and stay late. I was so cool then… Now, since I wake up very early, by 10pm, I start falling asleep…so I rather arrive early to really take advantage of the evening…
Our friends Mia and Lee always organize wonderful parties, where they take the risk of gathering an eclectic group of people that magically end up gelling! Two events led me to believe I was at a very COOL party… First, I met a struggling painter! Cool parties always have struggling artists…. We spoke for a while. As I was asking her about what she does, she described to me her state of mind when she paints: a mixture of ecstasy and pain, as any passion, whether it is love or any art form, makes you feel.
Then, this hip looking black dude with dreadlocks came up to me and said, hey, how’s it going, my name’s Rock! And I thought, you really do rock… His name fit his personality so well… his mannerism, his way of talking… I though that I too would like to have such a great name…
As I was about to leave, Lee dragged me to the dance floor, suggesting that a party is not a party until you have danced! I didn’t stay very long on the dance floor, just enough time to get into that incredible trans only certain repetitive beats and melodies can bring you!
When I arrived home, everyone was asleep. And, as I entered my warm bed, I thought of how we sometimes miss out on opportunities to experience pleasure when we give in to our natural homebody tendencies! I’m happy I fought my couch potato side last night. It allowed me to go out, meet new people and enjoy the warm hospitality of my friends Lee and Mia.
Last night, I went to a party. My husband couldn’t come for lack of babysitting, so I went with my dear cousin Serge. Initially, because the weather was so horrible, I hesitated to go. It was rainy and windy, the perfect weather to put on your pyjamas and watch a movie with a blanket and a cup of tea. However, I decided that, since winter is right around the corner, I would have plenty of opportunities to do that in a very near future.
Before I left, my daughters were watching me get ready, commenting on my outfit, suggesting different ones, helping me choose earrings and looking at me pluck my eyebrows, wondering if one day they too would have to suffer the pain of hair removal. It reminded me that very soon, they will be the ones going out, and I will be the one to watch them pluck their eyebrows.
We were amongst the first people to arrive. I never used to want to get to parties early. I was the type to arrive late and stay late. I was so cool then… Now, since I wake up very early, by 10pm, I start falling asleep…so I rather arrive early to really take advantage of the evening…
Our friends Mia and Lee always organize wonderful parties, where they take the risk of gathering an eclectic group of people that magically end up gelling! Two events led me to believe I was at a very COOL party… First, I met a struggling painter! Cool parties always have struggling artists…. We spoke for a while. As I was asking her about what she does, she described to me her state of mind when she paints: a mixture of ecstasy and pain, as any passion, whether it is love or any art form, makes you feel.
Then, this hip looking black dude with dreadlocks came up to me and said, hey, how’s it going, my name’s Rock! And I thought, you really do rock… His name fit his personality so well… his mannerism, his way of talking… I though that I too would like to have such a great name…
As I was about to leave, Lee dragged me to the dance floor, suggesting that a party is not a party until you have danced! I didn’t stay very long on the dance floor, just enough time to get into that incredible trans only certain repetitive beats and melodies can bring you!
When I arrived home, everyone was asleep. And, as I entered my warm bed, I thought of how we sometimes miss out on opportunities to experience pleasure when we give in to our natural homebody tendencies! I’m happy I fought my couch potato side last night. It allowed me to go out, meet new people and enjoy the warm hospitality of my friends Lee and Mia.
Friday, October 15, 2010
DAY 27 - 500 DAYS OF BLOGGING?
Day 27
Many people have been asking me if I think I will be able to keep up this blog for 500 days. One year and a half is a long time and, I have to admit, it is a little scary! Will I have inspiration every day? What if, one morning, I wake up and suffer from writer’s block? What will I do then?
My closest friends have been giving me some advice. My friends John and Christina told me the exact same thing: “You can stop at any time, you didn’t sign a contract with anybody. If it starts becoming a burden, you have the choice, you don’t have to continue!” The thing is, I do feel like I signed a contract, even if it is only with myself, I did. Also, I know that whether you love what you do or not, there will always be times when the task at hand will seem a little more challenging. Should I let the little hurdles I encounter discourage me?
My friend Anna suggested I make a plan, organize my work. As university graduates, that’s how we think. Make a plan first, determine your topics in advance, do proper research and then start writing! Although this approach seemed tempting at first, it goes against the mere concept of a blog! The spontaneity of the writing is essential and has to be preserved! This is not a university thesis; this is a daily blog!
I think the best advice came from my friend Catherine. She just said: “Just do it one day at a time!” Quite simple, isn’t it? And I feel like that strategy could be applied to anything we want to accomplish in life. When I quit smoking, I couldn’t picture myself not having a single cigarette for the rest of my life! But every day, I would tell myself: “I’m not going to have one today, but maybe I’ll have one tomorrow!” And it worked.
It could be a long-term or a short-term objective, the length of time is unimportant. In the end, it is the equation of daily effort over time that will lead you to succeed in reaching any of your goals. And once you do, you can only but rejoice and be proud of your perseverance!
Many people have been asking me if I think I will be able to keep up this blog for 500 days. One year and a half is a long time and, I have to admit, it is a little scary! Will I have inspiration every day? What if, one morning, I wake up and suffer from writer’s block? What will I do then?
My closest friends have been giving me some advice. My friends John and Christina told me the exact same thing: “You can stop at any time, you didn’t sign a contract with anybody. If it starts becoming a burden, you have the choice, you don’t have to continue!” The thing is, I do feel like I signed a contract, even if it is only with myself, I did. Also, I know that whether you love what you do or not, there will always be times when the task at hand will seem a little more challenging. Should I let the little hurdles I encounter discourage me?
My friend Anna suggested I make a plan, organize my work. As university graduates, that’s how we think. Make a plan first, determine your topics in advance, do proper research and then start writing! Although this approach seemed tempting at first, it goes against the mere concept of a blog! The spontaneity of the writing is essential and has to be preserved! This is not a university thesis; this is a daily blog!
I think the best advice came from my friend Catherine. She just said: “Just do it one day at a time!” Quite simple, isn’t it? And I feel like that strategy could be applied to anything we want to accomplish in life. When I quit smoking, I couldn’t picture myself not having a single cigarette for the rest of my life! But every day, I would tell myself: “I’m not going to have one today, but maybe I’ll have one tomorrow!” And it worked.
It could be a long-term or a short-term objective, the length of time is unimportant. In the end, it is the equation of daily effort over time that will lead you to succeed in reaching any of your goals. And once you do, you can only but rejoice and be proud of your perseverance!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
DAY 26 - RELATIONSHIPS…A WORK IN PROGRESS
Day 26
Today, in class, my students began a debate on the topic of soul mates. Right away, this 40 year-old Algerian woman told us: “I married my soul mate”. And she truly believes that in the entire world, there was only one man meant for her and that she married him. Now how beautiful is that? I’m a non-believer! I think we are compatible with many people on the planet...
What happens is: one day, the shining light of some exceptional man or woman strikes us... And, if lightning occurs, a love story begins. There is nothing like the beginning of a relationship. I remember those first few weeks with my husband. When he was around, I couldn’t focus on anything! I recall those movie outings holding his clammy hands in my even clammier hands, and coming out of the movie theater not remembering the title or the story! Two months after we started going out, he left for Belize on an archaeological dig. At the time, there was no internet, so we wrote each other long beautiful letters every day, just so we could ramble about how unutterably amazing we thought the other was.
That is, of course, until routine, responsibilities and apartment sharing set in. Relationships need work! Some people never get to that point. As soon as the first blaze of excitement disappears, they take off! What I have found, though, is that true deep love begins at that very moment! It is when you are able to see the person as they really are, with all their flaws and faults, that genuine love takes place.
My parents, who are celebrating 50 years of happy marriage this month, are a true example of a long-lasting loving relationship. When I was young, they sometimes fought, but they never showed disrespect toward one another and they always held up to the rule they had set themselves at the beginning of their marriage, never to go to bed angry.
Relationships could be compared to a good wine! In the right environment, it can get better with age. In a vile or unsuitable environment, it will get sour! Of course, working on a daily basis at creating this healthy and happy environment requires effort, patience and compromise, but only then will you be able, later on, to fully savor the panoply of aromas that characterize aged vintage!
Today, in class, my students began a debate on the topic of soul mates. Right away, this 40 year-old Algerian woman told us: “I married my soul mate”. And she truly believes that in the entire world, there was only one man meant for her and that she married him. Now how beautiful is that? I’m a non-believer! I think we are compatible with many people on the planet...
What happens is: one day, the shining light of some exceptional man or woman strikes us... And, if lightning occurs, a love story begins. There is nothing like the beginning of a relationship. I remember those first few weeks with my husband. When he was around, I couldn’t focus on anything! I recall those movie outings holding his clammy hands in my even clammier hands, and coming out of the movie theater not remembering the title or the story! Two months after we started going out, he left for Belize on an archaeological dig. At the time, there was no internet, so we wrote each other long beautiful letters every day, just so we could ramble about how unutterably amazing we thought the other was.
That is, of course, until routine, responsibilities and apartment sharing set in. Relationships need work! Some people never get to that point. As soon as the first blaze of excitement disappears, they take off! What I have found, though, is that true deep love begins at that very moment! It is when you are able to see the person as they really are, with all their flaws and faults, that genuine love takes place.
My parents, who are celebrating 50 years of happy marriage this month, are a true example of a long-lasting loving relationship. When I was young, they sometimes fought, but they never showed disrespect toward one another and they always held up to the rule they had set themselves at the beginning of their marriage, never to go to bed angry.
Relationships could be compared to a good wine! In the right environment, it can get better with age. In a vile or unsuitable environment, it will get sour! Of course, working on a daily basis at creating this healthy and happy environment requires effort, patience and compromise, but only then will you be able, later on, to fully savor the panoply of aromas that characterize aged vintage!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
DAY 25 - TRIUMPH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT
Day 25
Today’s news is good news! I still have tears in my eyes from watching this 7 year-old child cry uncontrollably in the arms of his father after he was finally brought up from a 69-day stay in a 700 meter-deep cave. It is an unbelievable victory for these 33 Chilean miners to have had the mental and physical strength to stay alive underneath the ground for so long! Last weekend, I was trapped in a cable car for 15 minutes because of a technical problem and I started getting nervous!
On August 5th, a copper mine in northern Chile collapsed. Seventeen days later, rescuers on the surface found out through a note sent, that all 33 miners had managed to survive in the underground shelter. From that moment on, they were able to send down supplies, including communication gear, to begin a rescue process that would last 69 days.
Slowly, as a survival tool, and with the help of specialists above ground (doctors, psychologists, trainers, etc.), a structure was established in the mine. The daily routine of the miners included work, entertainment periods, moments of prayer, physical exercise and meal sharing at specific times.
It is through this busy routine that lasted 69 days that the miners were able to cope with this unexpected turn of fate. Remaining active, positive and hopeful during these two months was essential for their survival.
Their vision of life will certainly be altered for the rest of their lives. And, maybe, they will experience trauma or other types of psychological problems once they go back to their every day life. But what seems extraordinary to me is to see the triumph of the human spirit unfold in such a powerful way. And this spirit, whether we are in touch with it or not, exists within all of us!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGecqHnN2gQ
Today’s news is good news! I still have tears in my eyes from watching this 7 year-old child cry uncontrollably in the arms of his father after he was finally brought up from a 69-day stay in a 700 meter-deep cave. It is an unbelievable victory for these 33 Chilean miners to have had the mental and physical strength to stay alive underneath the ground for so long! Last weekend, I was trapped in a cable car for 15 minutes because of a technical problem and I started getting nervous!
On August 5th, a copper mine in northern Chile collapsed. Seventeen days later, rescuers on the surface found out through a note sent, that all 33 miners had managed to survive in the underground shelter. From that moment on, they were able to send down supplies, including communication gear, to begin a rescue process that would last 69 days.
Slowly, as a survival tool, and with the help of specialists above ground (doctors, psychologists, trainers, etc.), a structure was established in the mine. The daily routine of the miners included work, entertainment periods, moments of prayer, physical exercise and meal sharing at specific times.
It is through this busy routine that lasted 69 days that the miners were able to cope with this unexpected turn of fate. Remaining active, positive and hopeful during these two months was essential for their survival.
Their vision of life will certainly be altered for the rest of their lives. And, maybe, they will experience trauma or other types of psychological problems once they go back to their every day life. But what seems extraordinary to me is to see the triumph of the human spirit unfold in such a powerful way. And this spirit, whether we are in touch with it or not, exists within all of us!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGecqHnN2gQ
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
DAY 24 - CONQUERING YOUR FEARS
DAY 24
My parents immigrated to Canada at the age of 30. At the time, they had three young children. They left their family, their friends, their jobs, their house, their comfort and the warmth of the Egyptian sun to begin a new life in an unknown country. I cannot begin to imagine the courage it required to pursue this life-changing endeavor, not knowing what to expect and not knowing if they would ever go back to their homeland.
I have always admired people who show courage in their quest for a better life. It is so much easier to follow the beaten path than to craft your own way through the jungle. Fighting your fears takes time and determination. The other day, on the radio, a woman who gives swimming lessons to people who suffer from aqua phobia was saying how, when someone conquers a specific fear, the whole world opens up. After following her class, one of her students went on to climb up Mount Everest, feeling as though winning her battle with that specific fear had made her invincible.
The truth is most of us get comfortable with our fears and fall into the trap of inertia. So many projects are buried, so many dreams forgotten, so many emotions refrained, so much pleasure lost, when we refuse to face up to our fears and, as an excuse, tell ourselves our fears are just part of who we are.
The outcome of battling our fears might not always be the one we had hoped for, but it is only by making courageous choices, one by one, big or small, that we open up to the possibility of discovering beauty we would have never seen, had we taken the safer route.
My parents immigrated to Canada at the age of 30. At the time, they had three young children. They left their family, their friends, their jobs, their house, their comfort and the warmth of the Egyptian sun to begin a new life in an unknown country. I cannot begin to imagine the courage it required to pursue this life-changing endeavor, not knowing what to expect and not knowing if they would ever go back to their homeland.
I have always admired people who show courage in their quest for a better life. It is so much easier to follow the beaten path than to craft your own way through the jungle. Fighting your fears takes time and determination. The other day, on the radio, a woman who gives swimming lessons to people who suffer from aqua phobia was saying how, when someone conquers a specific fear, the whole world opens up. After following her class, one of her students went on to climb up Mount Everest, feeling as though winning her battle with that specific fear had made her invincible.
The truth is most of us get comfortable with our fears and fall into the trap of inertia. So many projects are buried, so many dreams forgotten, so many emotions refrained, so much pleasure lost, when we refuse to face up to our fears and, as an excuse, tell ourselves our fears are just part of who we are.
The outcome of battling our fears might not always be the one we had hoped for, but it is only by making courageous choices, one by one, big or small, that we open up to the possibility of discovering beauty we would have never seen, had we taken the safer route.
Monday, October 11, 2010
DAY 23 - THE ART OF GRATEFULNESS
Day 23
All spiritual books say it, William Blake said it and even my mother says it: being grateful for what you have is definitely one of the keys to happiness. Traditionally, thanksgiving was meant to thank nature for the harvest. However, for most people, the meaning of this celebration has evolved into but being thankful for everything they are blessed with in their lives.
I have never been the type to write up a list of what I am grateful for! I’ve done it a couple of times, but I guess my analytical self feels that I’m being redundant, boring and way too ‘NEW AGE’. The repetitive aspect of it reminds me of when I was young and I made up a list of ‘sometimes-invented’ sins before going to confession. Father, forgive me for I have sinned, I have lied to my parents, I stole candies from my brothers, I used foul words, I cheated at school. I had my prepared list of sins and every time I would go to confession, I would repeat the same ones.
The fact is, we tend to focus on everything in life we would like to acquire: a bigger house, a partner, a better social life, a better spouse, more clothes, better behaved children, more money to travel, a new car, a new job, a cottage in the country. The list goes on and on…
The problem with this way of thinking is that we get stuck in a state of constant dissatisfaction, always wanting more and better… The thing is, there is ALWAYS more and better, so when do we stop? When do we say: that’s it, I’m there, where I’ve always wanted to be?
Acknowledging what we have helps us realize that, indeed, we are fortunate. So, what am I grateful for this year? Tonight, before going to bed, I’ll make a list!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
All spiritual books say it, William Blake said it and even my mother says it: being grateful for what you have is definitely one of the keys to happiness. Traditionally, thanksgiving was meant to thank nature for the harvest. However, for most people, the meaning of this celebration has evolved into but being thankful for everything they are blessed with in their lives.
I have never been the type to write up a list of what I am grateful for! I’ve done it a couple of times, but I guess my analytical self feels that I’m being redundant, boring and way too ‘NEW AGE’. The repetitive aspect of it reminds me of when I was young and I made up a list of ‘sometimes-invented’ sins before going to confession. Father, forgive me for I have sinned, I have lied to my parents, I stole candies from my brothers, I used foul words, I cheated at school. I had my prepared list of sins and every time I would go to confession, I would repeat the same ones.
The fact is, we tend to focus on everything in life we would like to acquire: a bigger house, a partner, a better social life, a better spouse, more clothes, better behaved children, more money to travel, a new car, a new job, a cottage in the country. The list goes on and on…
The problem with this way of thinking is that we get stuck in a state of constant dissatisfaction, always wanting more and better… The thing is, there is ALWAYS more and better, so when do we stop? When do we say: that’s it, I’m there, where I’ve always wanted to be?
Acknowledging what we have helps us realize that, indeed, we are fortunate. So, what am I grateful for this year? Tonight, before going to bed, I’ll make a list!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
DAY 22 - ROUGHING IT… EGYPTIAN STYLE!
Day 22
Thank god I love my family and that most of them are psychologically balanced (I have to write this since many of them read my blog). We rented a gigantic villa in the country for three nights to celebrate my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. The image one has of being in the country is not exactly what happens when you’re sharing your living space with 19 other people, the majority of them with Mediterranean blood circulating in their veins!!!!
This was our schedule today: 8am: yoga with my father; 10 am: Tae Box with my sister-in-law; 11 am: collective walk with too many leaders so with no direction and, when we finally decided on one, we were doing something closer to rock climbing than to walking. By the time noon arrived, I was so exhausted... and I thought this weekend was supposed to be restful!!!!
In addition to that, there was food, with food and even more food. We all suffer from ‘Egyptian-gargantuan-food-extravaganza’ syndrome! The villa has two huge fridges... not enough for my family!!!!! We’re only here three nights, but we could have probably stayed for a month and not have to go and buy anything! I’ll probably go back home carrying on my waist an extra 10 pounds as a souvenir.
The evening was memorable. We prepared a slide show for my parents, my brother prepared a stupendous gourmet meal and, we played games and sang our childhood songs in front of a campfire. Nothing else was needed! We laughed, we cried and we laughed some more.
I know this weekend will come to an end and that all that will remain of it is a faint memory... along with thousands of pictures. But, being with my family has shown me, once again, how important it is to spend time with those we love. Life is so short; it is pointless to waste any portion of it on regret!
Thank god I love my family and that most of them are psychologically balanced (I have to write this since many of them read my blog). We rented a gigantic villa in the country for three nights to celebrate my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. The image one has of being in the country is not exactly what happens when you’re sharing your living space with 19 other people, the majority of them with Mediterranean blood circulating in their veins!!!!
This was our schedule today: 8am: yoga with my father; 10 am: Tae Box with my sister-in-law; 11 am: collective walk with too many leaders so with no direction and, when we finally decided on one, we were doing something closer to rock climbing than to walking. By the time noon arrived, I was so exhausted... and I thought this weekend was supposed to be restful!!!!
In addition to that, there was food, with food and even more food. We all suffer from ‘Egyptian-gargantuan-food-extravaganza’ syndrome! The villa has two huge fridges... not enough for my family!!!!! We’re only here three nights, but we could have probably stayed for a month and not have to go and buy anything! I’ll probably go back home carrying on my waist an extra 10 pounds as a souvenir.
The evening was memorable. We prepared a slide show for my parents, my brother prepared a stupendous gourmet meal and, we played games and sang our childhood songs in front of a campfire. Nothing else was needed! We laughed, we cried and we laughed some more.
I know this weekend will come to an end and that all that will remain of it is a faint memory... along with thousands of pictures. But, being with my family has shown me, once again, how important it is to spend time with those we love. Life is so short; it is pointless to waste any portion of it on regret!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
DAY 21 - FALL BLISS
DAY 21
I have always loved early fall: the smell, the freshness of the air, the crackling sound of fallen leaves beneath my feel... Being in the country, I realize how, as city people, we have lost touch with nature.
In the city, we’re surrounded by so much grey, charcoal and black, we forget that nature offers a much wider palette of colors. All the warm tones of yellows, greens, oranges and reds that typically characterize Canadian autumns are truly a delightful pleasure to the eye.
In the hustle and bustle of every day life, taking time to appreciate nature seems to require some kind of superhuman powers. Even my friends who own cottages in the country don’t get to indulge as much as they would like!
Every time I spend time close to nature, whether it is near the ocean, near a lake or in the forest, I wonder how I was able to live without for so long...
The fact is nature is never very far... and taking even just one day, every once in a while, to walk around in an unspoiled and untouched environment can give you an unbelievable feeling of mental and physical well-being.
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.” — Anne Frank
I have always loved early fall: the smell, the freshness of the air, the crackling sound of fallen leaves beneath my feel... Being in the country, I realize how, as city people, we have lost touch with nature.
In the city, we’re surrounded by so much grey, charcoal and black, we forget that nature offers a much wider palette of colors. All the warm tones of yellows, greens, oranges and reds that typically characterize Canadian autumns are truly a delightful pleasure to the eye.
In the hustle and bustle of every day life, taking time to appreciate nature seems to require some kind of superhuman powers. Even my friends who own cottages in the country don’t get to indulge as much as they would like!
Every time I spend time close to nature, whether it is near the ocean, near a lake or in the forest, I wonder how I was able to live without for so long...
The fact is nature is never very far... and taking even just one day, every once in a while, to walk around in an unspoiled and untouched environment can give you an unbelievable feeling of mental and physical well-being.
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.” — Anne Frank
Friday, October 8, 2010
DAY 20 - THE BOOMERANG EFFECT
Day 20
Yesterday, I went to the McCord Museum. There is an exhibition called ‘Wathahine - Photographs of Aboriginal Women’. It presents the work of Nance Ackerman, documentary photographer, who travelled to all parts of Canada to capture on film the faces and expressions of some 20 Aboriginal women. She photographed seniors and teachers, artists and activists who have all shown strength and determination in their efforts to improve the lives of those in their communities. The compelling testimonies that accompany the exhibition made me think of how one single person can have a long-lasting impact on people’s lives.
We don’t all have to become activists, but with every day gestures and words, we can positively impact the lives of our friends, family and acquaintances. Who doesn’t remember a teacher, a family member, a friend, a coach, etc., who said or did something that ended up propelling them into a direction they would have never anticipated.
I have received letters of old students thanking me for something I had told them or something I had done. I usually don’t remember the actual event, but it always makes me happy to know that I’ve played, even the tiniest of roles, in making someone’s life a little better.
It is not always easy to be kind. Especially, when you’re feeling crabby yourself. Sometimes, I feel so grouchy that the mere sight of a cheerful person around me annoys me! If I’m not in a good mood, why should anyone else be???? But there is, nonetheless, a flower child side to me. If I didn’t hold back, I would probably embroider peace signs on my pants and walk around in the city talking about the necessity of making love not war!!!!
The matter of the fact is that there just might be such a thing as the boomerang effect or, as my Hindu friends would say, karma. Whatever you give out will come back to you with even more velocity! So, in the end, performing acts of kindness, whether in words or actions, in whatever shape or form, will help create a better world for you and for those around you… Namaste!
Yesterday, I went to the McCord Museum. There is an exhibition called ‘Wathahine - Photographs of Aboriginal Women’. It presents the work of Nance Ackerman, documentary photographer, who travelled to all parts of Canada to capture on film the faces and expressions of some 20 Aboriginal women. She photographed seniors and teachers, artists and activists who have all shown strength and determination in their efforts to improve the lives of those in their communities. The compelling testimonies that accompany the exhibition made me think of how one single person can have a long-lasting impact on people’s lives.
We don’t all have to become activists, but with every day gestures and words, we can positively impact the lives of our friends, family and acquaintances. Who doesn’t remember a teacher, a family member, a friend, a coach, etc., who said or did something that ended up propelling them into a direction they would have never anticipated.
I have received letters of old students thanking me for something I had told them or something I had done. I usually don’t remember the actual event, but it always makes me happy to know that I’ve played, even the tiniest of roles, in making someone’s life a little better.
It is not always easy to be kind. Especially, when you’re feeling crabby yourself. Sometimes, I feel so grouchy that the mere sight of a cheerful person around me annoys me! If I’m not in a good mood, why should anyone else be???? But there is, nonetheless, a flower child side to me. If I didn’t hold back, I would probably embroider peace signs on my pants and walk around in the city talking about the necessity of making love not war!!!!
The matter of the fact is that there just might be such a thing as the boomerang effect or, as my Hindu friends would say, karma. Whatever you give out will come back to you with even more velocity! So, in the end, performing acts of kindness, whether in words or actions, in whatever shape or form, will help create a better world for you and for those around you… Namaste!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
DAY 19 - SOLITUDE…IS BLISS?
Day 19
Tonight, after work, I walked into my house and there was…. silence. My husband and my children went up to the country because, this weekend, we’re celebrating my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Since I have to work tomorrow morning, I couldn’t go up tonight. So, as I walked through my doorstep, I knew I had an evening of FREEDOM!.
Freedom used to mean going out and partying! Tonight, I was in the mood for something entirely different. First, I made myself a nice cup of tea and read quietly while sipping and appreciating every single drop. Then, a friend of mine came over with dinner and we shared a nice healthy calm meal. We were able to actually have a conversation, a real one, and uninterrupted on top of it.
When my friend left, I took a long relaxing lavender bath. The water was not too hot, not too cold, just perfect. I stayed in that bath for about an hour, my eyes closed, only listening to the sound of my breath. When I came out of the bath, I felt renewed, relaxed, happy. All the tension in my muscles had miraculously vanished. I then lied down on my bed and listened to music. Inspired by the melodies I heard, I began writing in my little notebook!
Being at home tonight, by myself, was bliss. I used to fear solitude, now I crave it. Probably, if I had too much of it, I would crave company. I guess human beings always look for ways to achieve balance… neither excessive solitude nor excessive social interaction would ever fulfill me entirely! So, now that I’ve been able to enjoy this moment of solitude, I can’t wait to see my husband and kids tomorrow!!
Tonight, after work, I walked into my house and there was…. silence. My husband and my children went up to the country because, this weekend, we’re celebrating my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Since I have to work tomorrow morning, I couldn’t go up tonight. So, as I walked through my doorstep, I knew I had an evening of FREEDOM!.
Freedom used to mean going out and partying! Tonight, I was in the mood for something entirely different. First, I made myself a nice cup of tea and read quietly while sipping and appreciating every single drop. Then, a friend of mine came over with dinner and we shared a nice healthy calm meal. We were able to actually have a conversation, a real one, and uninterrupted on top of it.
When my friend left, I took a long relaxing lavender bath. The water was not too hot, not too cold, just perfect. I stayed in that bath for about an hour, my eyes closed, only listening to the sound of my breath. When I came out of the bath, I felt renewed, relaxed, happy. All the tension in my muscles had miraculously vanished. I then lied down on my bed and listened to music. Inspired by the melodies I heard, I began writing in my little notebook!
Being at home tonight, by myself, was bliss. I used to fear solitude, now I crave it. Probably, if I had too much of it, I would crave company. I guess human beings always look for ways to achieve balance… neither excessive solitude nor excessive social interaction would ever fulfill me entirely! So, now that I’ve been able to enjoy this moment of solitude, I can’t wait to see my husband and kids tomorrow!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
DAY 18 - BATTLING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Day 18
I come from a long tradition of hypochondria. My father, my mother, my aunts, my brothers and I, are all self-acknowledged hypochondriacs. On Sunday night, my daughter told me she had a headache. Since she had been going to bed late all weekend, celebrating her 9th birthday, she was probably just exhausted. As a hypochondriac, though, this logical explanation did not spontaneously occur to me as being the plausible reason for her pain. So, as it usually does, my crazy mind started picturing the worst imaginable scenario… but then, I stopped!
Many times in the past, I’ve been confronted with this “uncontrollable” spin of the mind. Negative thoughts hold a power equivalent to a nuclear bomb, emanating negative energy all through your body long after they first enter your mind,. What I did yesterday was to imagine in big red flashing letters, with a loud beeping sound, ACCESS DENIED, ACCESS DENIED, ACCESS DENIED. I simply refused to give access to my negative thoughts, picturing them as being a foreign substance that my body needed to keep out!
I was ready with my armor and sword, to fight that recurring though process that sneaks up on me every once in a while. Everyone has their own mind battle and when we let negative thoughts move about freely in our brain cells, they start invading us and taking over. My battle has been hypochondria and on Sunday night, I won!
I come from a long tradition of hypochondria. My father, my mother, my aunts, my brothers and I, are all self-acknowledged hypochondriacs. On Sunday night, my daughter told me she had a headache. Since she had been going to bed late all weekend, celebrating her 9th birthday, she was probably just exhausted. As a hypochondriac, though, this logical explanation did not spontaneously occur to me as being the plausible reason for her pain. So, as it usually does, my crazy mind started picturing the worst imaginable scenario… but then, I stopped!
Many times in the past, I’ve been confronted with this “uncontrollable” spin of the mind. Negative thoughts hold a power equivalent to a nuclear bomb, emanating negative energy all through your body long after they first enter your mind,. What I did yesterday was to imagine in big red flashing letters, with a loud beeping sound, ACCESS DENIED, ACCESS DENIED, ACCESS DENIED. I simply refused to give access to my negative thoughts, picturing them as being a foreign substance that my body needed to keep out!
I was ready with my armor and sword, to fight that recurring though process that sneaks up on me every once in a while. Everyone has their own mind battle and when we let negative thoughts move about freely in our brain cells, they start invading us and taking over. My battle has been hypochondria and on Sunday night, I won!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
DAY 17 - DREAM ON
Day 17
Today, I brought my daughter to her skating lessons. I was looking at her gracious 24-year-old instructor and I began wondering if, maybe, she once had the Olympic dream. So many athletes work hard for years and years, every single day, every single week, in pursuit of that ultimate goal. When they realize they will never reach it, they are emotionally crushed, destroyed. Some will take years to recover from that heartbreak. But although not all dreams can be attained, should one stop dreaming for fear of failure? And what purpose does dreaming serve?
When we are young and life is ahead of us, dreaming of the future only requires imagination. The realm of possibilities is endless. But what happens when you age? What happens at 50, 60, 70, 80? What happens if you didn’t become the music star you so desperately wanted to become or if you simply don’t feel like you’ve accomplished what you wanted? Of course, recovering from the pain of disillusionment takes time. But if we choose to live, we HAVE TO keep on dreaming.
To celebrate her 90th birthday, Grace LaVerne went skydiving. Seventy-five year old Sarah Jones, better known as Paddy, took up salsa following the death of her husband. Last December, after five years of intensive dancing, she won the Spanish version of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ with her Spanish salsa instructor who is 40 years younger than her. Lorna Page is one of the oldest debut writers on record. She was 93 years old when she published her first novel.
Age is just a number... and although it is true that at 90 years old, you probably don’t have much more time to live, why should you stop dreaming and living before you actually die. Why not enjoy every single breath till the breathing stops. So many people let themselves be consumed by the passing of time. The reality of the end is unavoidable. In the meantime, dream on!
Today, I brought my daughter to her skating lessons. I was looking at her gracious 24-year-old instructor and I began wondering if, maybe, she once had the Olympic dream. So many athletes work hard for years and years, every single day, every single week, in pursuit of that ultimate goal. When they realize they will never reach it, they are emotionally crushed, destroyed. Some will take years to recover from that heartbreak. But although not all dreams can be attained, should one stop dreaming for fear of failure? And what purpose does dreaming serve?
When we are young and life is ahead of us, dreaming of the future only requires imagination. The realm of possibilities is endless. But what happens when you age? What happens at 50, 60, 70, 80? What happens if you didn’t become the music star you so desperately wanted to become or if you simply don’t feel like you’ve accomplished what you wanted? Of course, recovering from the pain of disillusionment takes time. But if we choose to live, we HAVE TO keep on dreaming.
To celebrate her 90th birthday, Grace LaVerne went skydiving. Seventy-five year old Sarah Jones, better known as Paddy, took up salsa following the death of her husband. Last December, after five years of intensive dancing, she won the Spanish version of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ with her Spanish salsa instructor who is 40 years younger than her. Lorna Page is one of the oldest debut writers on record. She was 93 years old when she published her first novel.
Age is just a number... and although it is true that at 90 years old, you probably don’t have much more time to live, why should you stop dreaming and living before you actually die. Why not enjoy every single breath till the breathing stops. So many people let themselves be consumed by the passing of time. The reality of the end is unavoidable. In the meantime, dream on!
Monday, October 4, 2010
DAY 16 - BLOGGING, A NARCISSISTIC EXPERIENCE?
Day 16
Because of this blog project, happiness has been a recurring topic amongst my friends and colleagues. I really enjoy listening to people’s definition of what happiness is. Some people have such a profound outlook on the subject, while others have a more down-to earth definition. Today, as I was discussing my blog, an acquaintance asked me if this was some kind of narcissistic journey. Initially, I was a little hurt. But then I started picturing the mythical Narcissus falling in love with his reflection in a pool, and I didn’t exactly recognize myself!
But why am I doing this then? When it first came about, I was just wondering what people thought of happiness. I was in my shower and I imagined writing a book on the different perceptions people have on this topic. I was thinking of asking 4th graders, the founder of Cirque du Soleil Guy Laliberté, a homeless... When I shared my idea with my friend Donna, she simply said: “Why don’t you just write a blog instead?” Six days later, she sent me a link to MY blog! It was done... I didn’t take months to think about it... I just started writing!
Is this turning into a self-loathing, self-centered, egotistic journey? Absolutely not! Yes, I want to be read... If you’re writing a blog, it’s probably so that you can share your thoughts with others. Otherwise, you would be writing a diary! And then, it dawned on me. No matter what project you start, there will always be people who will encourage you and others who will, intentionally or not, make you doubt and cloak your idea with a wet blanket. Unfortunately, it seems that human nature tends to focus more on the negative than the positive. We need to remember that each comment uttered to us is only one of many subjective versions of the same reality. It is then up to us to choose which reality we adhere to! The one that saddens us and makes us self-doubt or the one that brings us joy and makes us feel GOOD?
Because of this blog project, happiness has been a recurring topic amongst my friends and colleagues. I really enjoy listening to people’s definition of what happiness is. Some people have such a profound outlook on the subject, while others have a more down-to earth definition. Today, as I was discussing my blog, an acquaintance asked me if this was some kind of narcissistic journey. Initially, I was a little hurt. But then I started picturing the mythical Narcissus falling in love with his reflection in a pool, and I didn’t exactly recognize myself!
But why am I doing this then? When it first came about, I was just wondering what people thought of happiness. I was in my shower and I imagined writing a book on the different perceptions people have on this topic. I was thinking of asking 4th graders, the founder of Cirque du Soleil Guy Laliberté, a homeless... When I shared my idea with my friend Donna, she simply said: “Why don’t you just write a blog instead?” Six days later, she sent me a link to MY blog! It was done... I didn’t take months to think about it... I just started writing!
Is this turning into a self-loathing, self-centered, egotistic journey? Absolutely not! Yes, I want to be read... If you’re writing a blog, it’s probably so that you can share your thoughts with others. Otherwise, you would be writing a diary! And then, it dawned on me. No matter what project you start, there will always be people who will encourage you and others who will, intentionally or not, make you doubt and cloak your idea with a wet blanket. Unfortunately, it seems that human nature tends to focus more on the negative than the positive. We need to remember that each comment uttered to us is only one of many subjective versions of the same reality. It is then up to us to choose which reality we adhere to! The one that saddens us and makes us self-doubt or the one that brings us joy and makes us feel GOOD?
Sunday, October 3, 2010
DAY 15 - THE FULFILLMENT OF DESIRE
Day 15
Louis XIV only took 7 baths in his life. That’s what a student of mine said on Friday. She went to visit the famous Château de Versailles near Paris and that’s what the tour guide, apparently a specialist of Louis XIV explained. Now Louis XIV lived from 1638 to 1715. He must have bathed about every 10 years. At that time, the dirtiest in history, people didn’t wash, they just hid their smell with perfume and their dirt with powder. Now, we have all seen images of that era. How elegant and distinguished these people seemed! Now, imagine their smell!!!!! Yet, Louis XIV had many mistresses. Women were lining up to have sex with this stinky man! He was married, but he still managed to find time for his extra-marital activities.
Now, no one can deny the joys of sex. Does it bring everlasting happiness? Not when you’ve been with the same person for 10,20, 30 or 40 years. In those cases, it probably brings you at most 8 seconds of ecstasy preceded by 7 to 10 minutes of preparatory joy! Nevertheless, it is truly one of the things that can make you feel ALIVE! Didn’t Freud postulate that human beings were dominated by this basic instinct he called Eros. This is probably why some people develop an addiction to it.
I once read an article about married people who cheat. Like heroin addicts, these people are happily married (so they say), but they just love to experience that feeling you can only have with a stranger. They go and have sex with different women, or men, only in order to feel that sensation again and again. Now, are we made to be monogamous? Probably not! It’s a choice we make based on our personal values.
One of my colleagues, last year, came up to me after Christmas and told me that her resolution for the year was to find a LOVER. She is a beautiful fifty-year old woman who has been faithfully married for 30 years. What was I to tell her? Good for you! Good luck in your search! Hope you find the right one! What a wonderful resolution! Keep it going… you can do it! We sort of joked about it and moved on, but I thought, maybe all she really wants is to hang on to her youth! Would this lover really bring her happiness? How would she feel toward her husband afterwards? Is it that she wants to feel desired like only a new lover could make her feel?
I guess when it comes to cheating, the calculation is simple: does the happiness provided by the immediate fulfillment of desire surpass the pain, guilt and feeling of dishonesty which could follow infidelity? The answer to this question lies within each individual
Louis XIV only took 7 baths in his life. That’s what a student of mine said on Friday. She went to visit the famous Château de Versailles near Paris and that’s what the tour guide, apparently a specialist of Louis XIV explained. Now Louis XIV lived from 1638 to 1715. He must have bathed about every 10 years. At that time, the dirtiest in history, people didn’t wash, they just hid their smell with perfume and their dirt with powder. Now, we have all seen images of that era. How elegant and distinguished these people seemed! Now, imagine their smell!!!!! Yet, Louis XIV had many mistresses. Women were lining up to have sex with this stinky man! He was married, but he still managed to find time for his extra-marital activities.
Now, no one can deny the joys of sex. Does it bring everlasting happiness? Not when you’ve been with the same person for 10,20, 30 or 40 years. In those cases, it probably brings you at most 8 seconds of ecstasy preceded by 7 to 10 minutes of preparatory joy! Nevertheless, it is truly one of the things that can make you feel ALIVE! Didn’t Freud postulate that human beings were dominated by this basic instinct he called Eros. This is probably why some people develop an addiction to it.
I once read an article about married people who cheat. Like heroin addicts, these people are happily married (so they say), but they just love to experience that feeling you can only have with a stranger. They go and have sex with different women, or men, only in order to feel that sensation again and again. Now, are we made to be monogamous? Probably not! It’s a choice we make based on our personal values.
One of my colleagues, last year, came up to me after Christmas and told me that her resolution for the year was to find a LOVER. She is a beautiful fifty-year old woman who has been faithfully married for 30 years. What was I to tell her? Good for you! Good luck in your search! Hope you find the right one! What a wonderful resolution! Keep it going… you can do it! We sort of joked about it and moved on, but I thought, maybe all she really wants is to hang on to her youth! Would this lover really bring her happiness? How would she feel toward her husband afterwards? Is it that she wants to feel desired like only a new lover could make her feel?
I guess when it comes to cheating, the calculation is simple: does the happiness provided by the immediate fulfillment of desire surpass the pain, guilt and feeling of dishonesty which could follow infidelity? The answer to this question lies within each individual
Saturday, October 2, 2010
DAY 14 - MAKING IT ALL MORE FUN
Day 14
Very often, when I’m driving or jogging, or doing anything that requires me to simply be on automatic pilot, I start thinking about everything I have to do in my day. Now, I’m not the only one with obligations, those darn “have to’s”. Most of us spend the greater part of our lives doing things that we simply did not choose to do.
Every day, I have to wake up early to bring my kids to school. I despise waking up early! I have to prepare my children a balanced lunch so that I can feel good about my motherly abilities. I have to shower, get ready and go to work myself. At work, I obviously have to teach, which I love, but, because I’m in charge of the English department, I also have to do paper work. I HATE paper work. After work, I have to go and pick up my kids from school. Then, I have to make sure they do their homework, take a bath and go to bed before 8:30pm, so they’re not cranky and unbearable the next day! In between all of that, I have to make dinner and clean up the mess so that my house doesn’t look like a pigsty. I also have to do laundry, clean my house, do groceries, bring my kids to their zillion activities. God, I’m getting bored just writing everything I have to do… I bet you’re also getting bored reading me! Thank god I have a great husband who shares all these chores with me….
But still, if I am miserable when I’m meeting my obligations, I’ll be spending 95 % of my waken life frustrated and irritated! We can’t only be waiting impatiently for the next holiday, the next party or the next exciting dinner invitation to enjoy life! We have to make a point of turning dutiful tasks into pleasurable events! But how can we do that? How can we positively influence our state of mind? By putting on Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’ and singing it from the top of our lungs while cooking? By interrupting our house cleaning every five minutes to perform a Liza Minelli tap dancing move? By smiling while folding clothes until we start feeling the joy in our gut? Maybe! Really, when you think about it, all we need to do is to BE and LIVE in the present moment. And if living in the present means doing cart wheels to get from the living room to the bedroom or having a candle light breakfast while listening to Luciano Pavarotti, then be it!
Very often, when I’m driving or jogging, or doing anything that requires me to simply be on automatic pilot, I start thinking about everything I have to do in my day. Now, I’m not the only one with obligations, those darn “have to’s”. Most of us spend the greater part of our lives doing things that we simply did not choose to do.
Every day, I have to wake up early to bring my kids to school. I despise waking up early! I have to prepare my children a balanced lunch so that I can feel good about my motherly abilities. I have to shower, get ready and go to work myself. At work, I obviously have to teach, which I love, but, because I’m in charge of the English department, I also have to do paper work. I HATE paper work. After work, I have to go and pick up my kids from school. Then, I have to make sure they do their homework, take a bath and go to bed before 8:30pm, so they’re not cranky and unbearable the next day! In between all of that, I have to make dinner and clean up the mess so that my house doesn’t look like a pigsty. I also have to do laundry, clean my house, do groceries, bring my kids to their zillion activities. God, I’m getting bored just writing everything I have to do… I bet you’re also getting bored reading me! Thank god I have a great husband who shares all these chores with me….
But still, if I am miserable when I’m meeting my obligations, I’ll be spending 95 % of my waken life frustrated and irritated! We can’t only be waiting impatiently for the next holiday, the next party or the next exciting dinner invitation to enjoy life! We have to make a point of turning dutiful tasks into pleasurable events! But how can we do that? How can we positively influence our state of mind? By putting on Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’ and singing it from the top of our lungs while cooking? By interrupting our house cleaning every five minutes to perform a Liza Minelli tap dancing move? By smiling while folding clothes until we start feeling the joy in our gut? Maybe! Really, when you think about it, all we need to do is to BE and LIVE in the present moment. And if living in the present means doing cart wheels to get from the living room to the bedroom or having a candle light breakfast while listening to Luciano Pavarotti, then be it!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Day 13 - HAPPINESS AND RESILIENCE
Day 13
There is a Haitian woman in my class this session. She left Haiti on January 11th, 10 days after the earthquake. She came with her kids, but her husband stayed back. He is the Director of a Haitian Financial Institution, so why would he immigrate to Canada? To start a career as yet another over-qualified Canadian immigrant taxi driver? Looking at her trying to build a new life for her and her children made me think of how happiness is also a about resilience.
I once had a Rwandese student, her name was Gertrude, I will never forget her. She was a true ray of sunshine. Every morning, she would walk into class with a huge smile on her face. I remember the whiteness of her teeth and the brightness of her traditional African outfits! During Rwanda’s genocide, she had lost her husband, three siblings, cousins, uncles and friends. She had lived through pain not many of us have experienced. Yet, she didn’t stay home and weep all day. She didn’t drown herself in her misery. She found the courage to change her life.
She immigrated to Canada, by herself. She was told that it would be easier to come alone as a refugee. So, she left her children behind with her sister. When she was following the course, she was in the middle of her struggle with the Canadian bureaucracy to try and get her children to join her. It was June 2003. The following September, I was in the middle of teaching when she walked in and told me she had a surprise for me. Somehow I knew what it was. “I want you to meet my children”, she said. And there they were, her 12 year-old son and her 15 year-old daughter. It had taken her two years, but she had succeeded in bringing her children over from Rwanda. I was so moved, I could barely keep on teaching that day!
The matter of the fact is, despite all her suffering, she had chosen to live. She even got remarried. I remember when students would complain about the cold weather, the rain or the health system, she would look at them in disbelief! She loved winter, she loved summer, she loved people, she loved life. She used her suffering as a diving board to plunge into the unknown in hope of finding happiness, and she did. She is a true example of strength, courage and resilience. And in my life, since I met her, she has been a true source of inspiration.
There is a Haitian woman in my class this session. She left Haiti on January 11th, 10 days after the earthquake. She came with her kids, but her husband stayed back. He is the Director of a Haitian Financial Institution, so why would he immigrate to Canada? To start a career as yet another over-qualified Canadian immigrant taxi driver? Looking at her trying to build a new life for her and her children made me think of how happiness is also a about resilience.
I once had a Rwandese student, her name was Gertrude, I will never forget her. She was a true ray of sunshine. Every morning, she would walk into class with a huge smile on her face. I remember the whiteness of her teeth and the brightness of her traditional African outfits! During Rwanda’s genocide, she had lost her husband, three siblings, cousins, uncles and friends. She had lived through pain not many of us have experienced. Yet, she didn’t stay home and weep all day. She didn’t drown herself in her misery. She found the courage to change her life.
She immigrated to Canada, by herself. She was told that it would be easier to come alone as a refugee. So, she left her children behind with her sister. When she was following the course, she was in the middle of her struggle with the Canadian bureaucracy to try and get her children to join her. It was June 2003. The following September, I was in the middle of teaching when she walked in and told me she had a surprise for me. Somehow I knew what it was. “I want you to meet my children”, she said. And there they were, her 12 year-old son and her 15 year-old daughter. It had taken her two years, but she had succeeded in bringing her children over from Rwanda. I was so moved, I could barely keep on teaching that day!
The matter of the fact is, despite all her suffering, she had chosen to live. She even got remarried. I remember when students would complain about the cold weather, the rain or the health system, she would look at them in disbelief! She loved winter, she loved summer, she loved people, she loved life. She used her suffering as a diving board to plunge into the unknown in hope of finding happiness, and she did. She is a true example of strength, courage and resilience. And in my life, since I met her, she has been a true source of inspiration.
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