DAY 206 - HAPPINESS VOX POP: DEE DEE JOHNSON - ACTOR, MUSICIAN, CHALLENGE-SEEKER... WITH A DELIGHTFUL SENSE OF HUMOUR

Day 206

I was born in a pretty regular Northern Ontario small town where I received a bilingual education.  I graduated at Queen's University in Music.  For 10 years, I worked for the Federal Government in Ottawa at various and ever encroaching “upwardly mobile” well-paying jobs.  I left to retrieve what was left of my sense of humor and to discover what the world of performing arts had to offer.  I became a waitress for about 5 minutes.. I didn't last because of spilling problem.  I auditioned for one role and got the job.  Fast-forward 20 years.  It's been a great ride so far and despite the precarious nature of the gig, it's still the best gig in town.

What is happiness for you?

 Playing with the people I want to play with and making the thing we want to make together.

Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?

 Definitely.  I chose it BECAUSE it made my happiness.  But so much of the time it makes me VERY unhappy.  It's strange... I seem to love the struggle.  It is like loving your misery...

Has your vision of happiness greatly changed through time?

 I had one great switch in my life, which was to make a conscious decision to say “No”   to what was “expected” of me and then do what I “decided” to do.  Seek my bliss, was what I thought.  Since then, life has taken on a more gradual shift... like the wrinkles in my face.. ha! All earned.  All what they are.  My view of happiness is changing though... shorter term goals... probably because I'm actually starting to see how much time I have left here.  Still, if I can't laugh in a day, I must have done something wrong.

Do you believe you have control on your level of happiness?

 See above... yes definetely

You can look at life in so many ways.. I do try to be optimistic...I'm probably hardly ever successful at it, but I do try to DO the things I want.  I think that's a big part of it.  It you can't “control” your life... or at least a part of it, it's very hard to find any happiness.  Think about people though... they will find happiness in the most “unlikely” places.  But if you've lost your entire family to a tsunami or an earthquake or crazy forest fires eating up your house or your husband beats you or you have to sift through garbage to make your way or you have cancer or aids or you're trapped by what ever other evilorhorriblethingthatexistsinthisworld... shit..I don't know.. that stuff will really test you... I don't  know how I would deal with that personally.... Wow I just realized I was asked about happiness and all I spoke about was misery and “unhappiness”  … what does that mean? Yin Yang?

What do you do to change your mood when you’re feeling sad?

I look at myself in the mirror and I cry my eyes out.

Aka...I allow the sad and then I buck up and get on with my day...

On the whole, would you say you are a happy person?

 I think I WANT to be a happy person. I think I am very successful at “putting on” the happy person.  But to tell you truthfully, I'm not even sure what “Happy”  means.  Truly... I have been “contented”,  “satisfied”, “proud”, “awkward”, AND  “happy” some days.  But generally, I'm more questioning and confused and reacting... I am never “happy” constantly, like a “settled” thing.  Life is so transient and changing, how can you be anything but what you are at this moment!


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DAY 205- WANDERING MIND, UNHAPPY STATE

Day 205

Does your mind often wander off during the day? I know mine does.  I call it distraction, but I could also call it mind-wandering! That is why meditation is so hard for me. It seems like, no matter how hard I try not to have any, thoughts keep racing through my mind. Well, a study has shown that this characteristic of my personality might contribute to my unhappiness!

Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, two psychologists from Harvard University came up with the brilliant idea of using an IPhone application as the principal research tool for a study on happiness that was published last November in the Science Journal.

This iPhone application, created by Killingsworth, randomly asked 2,250 volunteers from all over the world at different intervals of the day what their level of happiness was, what they were doing and what they were thinking about.

Killingsworth and Gilbert found that people were happiest when making love, exercising, or engaging in conversation. They were least happy when resting, working, or using a home computer.

The results also showed that people's minds wandered a lot, regardless of what they were doing: people reported letting their minds wander 46.9% of the time, and at least 30% of the time during every activity except having sex.

The study showed that mind-wandering was actually a predictor of people's happiness more than the actual activities people were engaged in.

The researchers estimated that only 4.6 percent of a person's happiness in a given moment was attributable to the specific activity he or she was doing, whereas whether or not a person was wandering determined about 10.8 percent of his or her happiness.

Many philosophical and psychological schools of thought, believe that happiness starts by living in the present moment.  Now, a study has shown the validity of that statement.  So, maybe when your mind wanders off while you're in the middle of cooking, it is worth bringing it back to the task at hand.  It could make you happier... and, perhaps,  also prevent you from burning yourself or messing up the recipe!

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DAY 204 - SPRING CLEANING

Day 204

On Saturday morning, I woke up with a mission: to do spring cleaning!  I started with my daughters' drawers.  You would have thought Hurricane Disaster had passed through there.  Everything was upside down.  I emptied it all on the floor and made three piles:  stuff to give away, stuff to keep for next winter and stuff to put back in the drawers.

The problem with my children's clothes is that, if I consult them on what to give away, they always choose to keep everything. And if I don't consult them and I give away some piece of  clothes that they love but never wear, the day they find out I've gotten rid of it is a day of weeping!!!!  I know, I'm the mother and I should be tougher... but I remember how I felt when my mother threw away something I loved!!!! I hated it!

After I finished cleaning, I opened all the windows in the house to purify the air.  (I don't know how pure the air was since I live in the city, but it felt good anyway).  After taking a shower, I went around my house to admire my work!  I was happy.  I had a feeling of renewal.  No more dirt, no more mess, everything seemed so much more zen.  According to Feng Shui, clutter keeps energy from flowing.  On Saturday, I felt that there was a better, more positive flow of energy in my house.

Spring cleaning is not like any other type of cleaning!  It allows you to put winter behind, both physically and mentally.  It prepares the arrival of the no-more-boots, no-more jackets, no-more-cold season.  It leads the way to the wonderful sock-free, painted toe-nails, sleeveless shirt time of year!  And I love it!

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DAY 203 - COLD SHOWERS, MASOCHISTIC AND HEALTHY?

Day 203

As I was driving in my car the other day, a French Doctor by the name of Frederic Saldman was being interviewed about a book he has just published; a book that talks about longevity and health.  One of the things he recommended was to take a cold shower every day.

I love taking hot showers.  Sometimes, in the morning, I'll stay in the shower longer than I need, just in order to enjoy the feeling of warm water falling on my sleepy body.  So, taking a cold shower has never crossed my mind.  Why would I purposely put myself through that kind of torture?  I'm not that masochistic!

When it comes to healthy choices, I often find myself confronted with a dilemma: do I opt for immediate pleasure or long-term benefits?  As for the case of cold showers, the jury is still out on it.  However, it seems that more and more scientists believe that there are more advantages to it than disadvantages.

While doing some research on the issue, I realized that even yogis are fervent believers in the health benefits of cold showers.  Most specialists suggest to start your shower with warm water and end it with cold water.  It is said that taking a cold shower every day:

- Strengthens the immune system
- Flushes toxins from the skin
- Increases blood circulation
- Keeps your skin tight, elastic and vibrant (keeps you looking young)
- Keeps your hair  healthy
- Has an anti-depressant effect on your mood
- Contributes to your longevity potential
- Definitely wakes you up in the morning!

This blog has been making me experience a variety of new things.  Taking cold showers in the morning will probably feel like torture, initially at least, but who knows, maybe, as many adherents do, I will end up loving them!

And, by the way, for obvious reasons, cold showers are not recommended for people with a heart condition!

Do any of you already take cold showers regularly?  If yes, please let me know, so I can know what to expect!

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DAY 202 - TRADITIONS: FOR OR AGAINST?

Day 202

There was a time in my life (during my teenage years in particular) when I rejected traditions.  I was a rebel (at least, I thought I was).  To be a free thinker meant not adhering to anything that was set and structured by others.  Why did anyone have to decide anything in my life? I wanted to be free and traditions, as well as many other established principles, came in the way of my liberty!

That is, of course, until I had children!  That is, of course, until I realized that, no matter how much I tried to get away from them,  traditions were actually part of who I was...

The Egyptian Easter tradition is one my favourite ones.  Every year, we go to my parent's house for brunch.  We celebrate what we call in arabic "sham el-nessim", which means breathing in the air.   In Egypt, after the meal, people actually go out for walks to breath in the air, which on that day they believe to have a wonderfully beneficial effect.

This tradition dates back to the Ancient Egyptians, around 2700 BC.  It was actually meant to celebrate the arrival of  the vernal equinox which is associated with spring.

Today, although it is always celebrated on Easter Monday, all Egyptians, even muslims, celebrate it. Traditionally, the meal consists of beans, green onions, a salty fish called  Feseekh, and of course, coloured eggs.

There is a ritual associated with the eggs.  First, we boil them and colour them.  Then, each member of the family picks one or two eggs to battle with the others.  The objective is to try to break your opponent's egg by hitting it with your own egg on both extremities.  The winner is the one who is left with an unbroken egg.   Today, as we do every year, we went over to my parent's house in the morning for my kids to colour the eggs and we had the egg breaking contest.  I lost!

Traditions allow families to strengthen their ties,  create wonderful memories and spend pleasurable moments together.  Studies have shown that traditions have a positive impact on happiness, because they create a sense of belonging.  And the beauty with traditions is that, although some are set, you always have the freedom to create new ones or adapt the ones you already have to your own way of life!

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DAY 201 - REVISITING YOUR MEMORIES!!!

Day 201

To achieve happiness, many authors and, even I, have suggested to live in the present and not in the past.  I agree with that principle, but sometimes revisiting your memories can give you lots of happiness!

Today, as I was jogging with my girlfriend Christina, we started talking about when we turned 40 and traveled to Holland together to go visit some old friends.  We had met these people in our 20’s during one of our European travels!  When we returned there, for a week, we became 20 again, going out and partying till the wee hours of the morning, feeling carefree, as if we didn’t have any responsibilities!

Revisiting happy memories can really spice up your day, especially when you’re not feeling so great!  Talking about that time made us laugh a lot!  It actually added happiness to the present moment, but through a story that happened in the past.

I often reminisce with my children as well, and they love it as much as I do.  I’ll tell them funny anecdotes about their early years… for instance when my eldest fell asleep in a bowl of soup, or when my youngest told my brother, who is a very funny guy, I want to go swimming with someone who loves me and who doesn’t tell jokes!

Living life to the fullest in the present creates memories for the future…. But reminiscing about the past can sometimes create happiness in the present.


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DAY 200 - HAPPINESS VOX POP: SERGE MEDAWAR, MUSICIAN, CHOIR CONDUCTOR,TEACHER, COUSIN, BEST FRIEND

Day 200 

I was born on December 20^th, 1967.  I have the privilege of being an Expo Baby and a Christmas Baby.  I come from a wonderful Egyptian family (my parents got married in Egypt and immigrated to Montreal in 64.)  I had the immense privilege of having my maternal grandmother live with us.  I don’t think I ever felt a stronger tie to anyone else.  Academically speaking (boring), I have an undergrad in translation, in music and a Master’s in choral conducting.  I have conducted for 20 years and taught at the McGill music faculty for 9 years.  Currently, I teach piano and French at home, privately.  I am loving this ‘self-made’ career!  I am a single gay man, don’t have any kids of my own, but have about 30 kids in my life… and they bring me the most happiness, on a daily basis!
 
 What is happiness for you?

Happiness just means being happy, which means not feeling any anxiety, any regrets, any guilt, any fear, any hatred, any anger.  Basically, my definition of happiness is the riddance of  those unhealthy emotions in the present moment.  Key words are: IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.  This can explain why I live very much in the present (except when I start having anxiety about the future!) Don’t ask me what I’m doing tomorrow.  Other than my work schedule, I NEVER know!  I like to believe destiny will bring me happy surprises (like a Lindt chocolate bunny?)
 
 Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?

My profession has not impacted my level or vision of happiness.  My profession is an INTEGRAL part of my happiness.  I’ve had past experiences with jobs that didn’t feel quite right, or working in an environment that didn’t seem healthy or friendly.  It is hell for me to  do something that feels wrong.  My body reacts very strongly.  So, to answer your question, my profession has not impacted my vision or level of happiness.  I’ve brought happiness to my profession, in order to remain happy as soon as I wake up right up until I go to sleep.
 
 Has your vision of happiness greatly changed through time?
 

No, it hasn’t.  Happiness has always been for me an emotion in the present moment, whether I be with my friends, my family, at my piano, with my students, cooking, memories of spending afternoons with my grandmother, holding her hand and kissing her forehead and hugging her.
 

Do you believe you have control on your level of happiness?

I believe some people have a personality which allows them to be more carefree than others.  I don’t like it when people tell other people, ‘Well, it’s up to you to choose between happiness and unhappiness.’  Unhappy people need not be judged or advised.  They just need to be heard and cared for.  They’ll control their level of happiness when they’re good and ready!
 
 What do you do to change your mood when you’re not feeling so great?
 

When I feel anxious, I go for a walk, a bike ride, I cook, I play piano, I go see friends or have them over.  Oh!  And I call my mom to tell her I’m not feeling so hot.  She's a great listener.  She doesn't judge or try to tell me what to do.  But when I'm sad, for example when my grandmother passed away, I don't feel like I should do anything special to get rid of that feeling.  Sadness does not cancel out my happiness.  Anxiety does.
 

On the whole, would you say you are a happy person?

I am very happy (in the present moment).


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DAY 199 - REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKES... ME? NEVER!

Day 199

Do you know people who have been repeating the same mistakes over and over again?  Or, maybe, you sometimes feel like you are the one caught in repetitive patterns?

If you got a second degree sunburn, you would most likely make sure it never happened to you again. The pain you would go through would probably keep you from ever exposing yourself again to the sun unprotected.  If you had a heart attack, you would probably stop smoking (although some people are too addicted).

To change behaviour, there is nothing better than an extreme situation.  Radical problems call for radical solutions.  But what happens if you simply want to stop biting your nails or, like me, you need to get rid of the bad habit of procrastination?  Is it only a question of willpower?  If so, how do you get willpower?

Some people say that you will repeat the same mistake until you have learned the lesson you need to learn.  I don't know what procrastination has been teaching me!!! That the things I have to do can pile up?

I believe you simply need to start viewing the changes you want to implement in your life as being detrimental to your survival.  There has to be a mental switch that goes on, telling you that you are now cornered and that your only way out is a behavioural change.  Your survival instinct has to take over.  As long as you keep on creating excuses for yourself, you will be unsuccessful (no more: it's because; I just can't help it; I'll start soon).  It can't be a wishy washy decision!!!!  It has to be radical, in your actions, but also in your mind!!

We often link knowledge to wisdom... However, knowledge doesn't necessarily lead to wisdom.  I KNOW I have to stop procrastinating, yet I still do it.  Wisdom is about internalizing knowledge so that it becomes instinctive, like as second nature.  Rational decisions will always require a mental effort .... wisdom doesn't.  So to change behaviour, you need to be decisive and radical, so that knowledge can finally turn into wisdom!

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DAY 198 - "B" HAPPY

Day 198

Doctors often prescribe B vitamins to women who suffer from pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS). The reason being that they play an important role in regulating mood and energy. Recent studies indicate that folate (vitamin B9), vitamins B6 and B12 are particularly helpful in promoting happiness.

You can choose to take vitamin supplements, always previously consulting your doctor, but you can also just eat plenty of the foods that contain these vitamins.

 Folate - Folate is important to stay alert, be happy, focus well and have a good memory.  Folate can be found in:

- Green and Leafy Vegetables (spinach, bok choy, parsley, turnip greens, mustard greens, romaine lettuce)
- Beet Root
- Sunflower Seeds
- Baked Beans
- Strawberries
- Oranges
- Calves liver
-  Lentils
- Fortified breakfast cereal

Vitamin B6 - Vitamin B6 is needed to regulate mood by boosting levels of serotonin.  People who lack B6 can be depressed and lack energy.  B6 is found in:

- Spinach

- Red Bell Peppers 

- Cooked Turnip Greens 

- Garlic 

- Cooked Yellow fin Tuna

- Cauliflower

- Bananas

- Watermelon

- Celery

- Mushrooms

- Cabbage

- Asparagus

- Broccoli

Vitamin B12 - B12 is needed for healthy brain functioning and for a healthy nervous system.   People who lack B12 are often irritable and have trouble focusing.  B12 is found in:

- Liver

- Mussels 

- Sardines 

- Oysters 

- Egg yoke

- Lean Beef

Omega 3’s have also recently been added to the list of vitamins that promote happiness. Omega 3’s can be found in most fish.

I think I’m a pretty healthy eater. However, as I was doing research on vitamins and happiness, I realized that I might have a slight deficiency in B12. I don’t like meat that much or liver and I don’t eat a lot of seafood. So, maybe a B12 supplement would be something I should consider... or I should force myself to include some of the foods that contain it.  I guess I should ask my mother for her liver stew recipe! Yummy!!!!!!!????


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DAY 197 - YOUR LIFE: A PERSONAL PIECE OF ART

DAY 197

Dr. Mariano Rojas is s professor of economics at FLACSO-Mexico and UPAEP, Mexico.  In the past 10 years, he has been researching happiness. He has been studying the link between life satisfaction, revenue, consumption, quality of life and wellbeing.

In a book entitled The World Book of Happiness, Mariano Rojas writes an article in which he describes his vision of how to lead a happy life.

First of all, he believes that you should view your life as being a personal piece of art.  And to try to create the best piece of art possible, you will first need to develop wisdom. And how do you develop wisdom? By transforming information into knowledge, which can then be turned into wisdom.

You will also need to properly manage your time in order to increase your life satisfaction in the areas of your life most pertinent to your overall life satisfaction, for instance, by working on your relationships, developing interests and hobbies, having a job, etc.  

Mariano believes that some areas of your life will create more happiness than others.  Having satisfying personal relationships will generate more happiness than buying goods. He also thinks that by contributing to the happiness of others, you can increase the value of your piece of art.

According to Mariano, if you view your life as being a piece of art that you are continuously trying to embellish, chances are you will be able to increase your overall life satisfaction.

What I find particularly interesting in Mariano’s metaphor of the piece of art is that it brings happiness outside the individual.  It illustrates the extent of the control we have on our own level of happiness.  We are the ones holding the paintbrush, choosing the colour, the shape and the direction we want to give to our life.   We are the artisans, architects and designers of our wellbeing.  And it shows how every decision we make can have an impact on the outcome of our creation!

So, the question is, what would you like YOUR personal piece of art to look like?

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DAY 196 - MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES

Day 196

When it comes to happiness, I believe many of us often make the wrong choices.  It is probably due to the fact that we have a false sense of what will bring us what we are looking for.

Money, for instance is still avidly pursued by many, as though it held the key to happiness. However, studies have shown that the link between money and happiness is minimal.  Yet, given the choice between working at a job that they love and working at a job that they don't like but that pays 20% more, research has shown that most people would choose the higher salary. 

The thing is, if you are going to spend 40 hours a week working, which equals to about 1/4 of your week, why would you consciously choose to spend that amount of time working at a job you dislike?   

We also make the wrong choices because sometimes the right ones require more effort.  Exercising regularly and eating healthy food both help promote happiness.  The reasons are simply that exercising and certain food release serotonin in the brain (the happy hormone).  It's chemical!  So, why aren't we all sweating it out at the gym, filling up our fridges with fruit and vegetables, our pantries with sardines and flax seed and getting off prepared and sugar-filled foods? Are we not able to go beyond instant gratification?

Choosing happiness is a lot of work.  It means reevaluating your choices.  It means getting rid of old thoughts and old habits.  It means restructuring your brain so that your actions become consistent with your goal of achieving state of wellbeing.

I am certainly not suggesting banishing all sinful pleasures of life!  However, when your wrong choices BECOME YOUR WAY OF LIFE, then maybe it is worth revisiting some of them in order to make sure that they take into account both your day-to-day happiness as well as your long-term happiness!

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DAY 195 - YOU CAN'T DO IT... OR YOU THINK YOU CAN'T????

Day 195

I’ve been jogging for more than twenty years.  I remember the first times I went out to jog.  I was really out of shape, or, maybe, I just didn’t think I could run for more than 5 minutes without being completely exhausted.  I gradually increased my time.  After 3 weeks, I was able to run for 20 minutes nonstop.  For the past 20 years, every time I went jogging, I did it for 20 or 25 minutes.  I never increased my speed or my time.  In my head, I never thought I could run for a longer time.  I have never viewed myself as being the athletic type.

As I have already written, I would like to register to a 5k or 10k run sometime in the near future.  So, in the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to increase my jogging time.  For about a week now, I’ve been running for 40 minutes at a time, sometimes feeling as though I could actually go on.

Today, as I was jogging with my brother, I realized how important, for any type of achievement, to actually deeply believe you are ABLE to do it.  My brother is the CEO of a big company.  He has been very successful in his career.  As we were jogging, I told him about my project of running a 5k or a 10 k.  He just answered that running a 10k wouldn’t be very hard, that he was sure he could do it.

My brother hasn’t worked out all winter.  He is probably not in the best of shape.  Yet, today, he jogged with me for forty minutes without any problem.    One of my brother’s biggest strengths, no matter the goal, is that he just believes he CAN do it.  It’s a mental conviction that makes him work toward his objectives without indulging in self-doubt. 

For my brother, this profound belief in his ability to achieve any goal is a natural quality.  For others, it might not be as instinctive.  As we were running and talking, I realized that it might very well be the most important element in reaching any objective.   It’s quite simple.  Believe you CAN do it, and you WILL do it.  Don’t analyse, procrastinate, hesitate or question, just believe, and take the means to get there.  Because, as it's been proven over and over again, having goals and working towards reaching them is part of a balanced and happy life.  

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DAY 194- HAPPINESS VOX POP: JEAN-MARIE LAPOINTE - ACTOR, SINGER, PRODUCER, AUTHOR, ATHLETE, VOLUNTEER WORKER

Day 194
 
Jean-Marie Lapointe is a renowned Québec actor, singer, producer and author. He is also a dedicated athlete. For many years now, in spite of his busy schedule, Lapointe has been volunteering his time for various causes. He is the son of famous singer, actor and Canadian Senator Jean Lapointe. As a public figure, Jean-Marie Lapointe has been using his influence to better the world. He is one of the best people I know and I feel fortunate to be able to call him my friend.
 

What is happiness for you?

 I think I agree with what Gandhi thinks of happiness: I feel good when my thoughts, my words and my actions are in harmony.
 

But what brings me the most happiness and inner peace is when I think of other people's happiness; when I go beyond myself and, through my personal or professional life, contribute to the well- being of others. It could even be on a daily basis through little gestures. 

Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?
 

Absolutely. My interviews, my involvement in telethons and humanitarian television shows, my encounter with spiritual leaders such as Mathieu Ricard and the Dalaï Lama as well as my involvement in helping handicapped children and sick children with terminal diseases, have all contributed to give purpose and meaning to my life.

I also find stimulating and enjoyable to have the chance to be involved in projects that force me into reading and seeing "feel good" movies.

Has your vision of happiness greatly changed through time?

Yes. Especially since I have embraced the Buddhist practice.

Do you believe you have control on your level of happiness?

Absolutely!

What do you do to change your mood when you’re feeling sad?
 

When I'm not feeling so great, I get involved in physical activities; I try to talk to my close friends; I meditate; I try not to let negative thoughts affect me too much. I also read profound and meaningful quotes. Basically, I work on focusing my attention on something else. Often, by doing nothing, the negative though just dissolves.

On the whole, would you say you are a happy person?   

Getting there!!!! I would say I am rather happy!

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Day 193 - CHOOSING AN EXTRA-ORDINARY LIFE!

Day 193

I’ve already written about the fact that helping others can bring happiness to an individual much more than many personal individualistic endeavours. Yet, many of us fool ourselves by believing that more money, a new car and a vacation down south is sure to lift our spirits and lead us to a better sense of well-being.

Although, it is true that, momentarily at least, those materialistic acquisitions and experiences can bring joy, nothing can compare to helping others. Helping and giving happiness to someone in need can give a real deep purpose to your life.

Since 2007, every year, CNN names 10 ordinary people who, through their extraordinary devotion and social involvement, have helped create a better world.

Last night, when I went on Facebook, I noticed my cousin Amir had posted the CNN video of one of the heroes selected by CNN for 2010. I watched it. I was touched and inspired by it, so I decided to share it with you, my readers.

The name of that hero is Narayanan Krishnan. He was born in India in 1981. He was a very prominent Chef in India, having won awards for his culinary creations in Taj Hotels, Bangalore. He was short-listed for an elite job in Switzerland when, during a visit to his family, before heading to Europe, he changed his mind. He explains: "I saw a very old man, literally eating his own human waste out of hunger. I went to the nearby hotel and asked them what was available. They had idli, which I bought and gave to the old man. Believe me, I had never seen a person eating so fast, ever. As he ate the food, his eyes were filled with tears. Those were the tears of happiness."

In 2002, Krishnan gave up his career and began cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for 400 homeless and mentally disabled people in Madurai, India. He also provides them haircuts and shaves to give them some dignity.

Not everyone is destined to give to others in such a selfless way. However, every day we are confronted with situations that give us the opportunity to help someone in need. That story only serves as a reminder  that seizing those opportunities can make a difference in someone else's life, but also in yours!

Here is the video of Narayanan Krishnan that I'm sure you'll find as inspiring as I did.

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness

DAY 192 - USING A "PROTECTIVE SHIELD"

Day 192


Thoughts have an impact on emotions.  That’s why it’s essential to train your mind to have positive thoughts.  Worry and stress often begin with thoughts but end up in the gut!  What I have found helpful when getting stuck in a whirlwind of negative thoughts is to stop and view it all as what it is: a creation of my imagination.

I try to remember that I'm the only creator, author, writer of all the scenarios that enter my mind.  Apparently 47 % of worries stem from a pure invention of the imagination.  Imagine if we were able to use all that creativity to produce positive thoughts or even pieces of art! 

My children took ski lessons all winter.  Every time we went to their lessons, I would worry about them getting into an accident.  You might think I'm a little insane to register my kids to a sport that is stress inducing for me!  But at the same time, skiing is an important skill to acquire when you live in Canada.  

As a child, I never learned how to ski. At the age of 16 years old, I went skiing for the first time.  I was cool back then, so I wore ripped jeans and a not-so-warm jacket!  On that January day, the weather was very cold.   As I attempted my first descent, I fell many times and, by the end of my first run, my pants had turned into a block of ice.  That was my reward for being so cool!  I don't want my kids to ever have to experience that!

So, one day, as we brought the kids to their ski lessons, I was particularly concerned.  My friend Catherine, who had registered her son to the same ski school, told me: "Just mentally visualize yourself putting a protective shield on them".  So, I closed my eyes, and did what she said.  Miraculously, I stopped worrying.  I was suddenly at peace.  I was overcome by a warm feeling of calmness.

What I realized at that point is that I could also use my imagination to destroy negative thoughts by replacing them with different ones and, as a consequence, alter my emotional state.  And since there is no end to the imagination...

That technique could be used in other contexts.  For instance, when I feel aggressed by someone who is angry with me for whatever reason or, when I'm with someone who tends to take away my energy, I mentally put on a protective shield on myself...


All right so it's a little out there... maybe even esoteric in some way... but it really helps preserve my emotional state, so in the end, it can only have a positive effect on my life!!!   


If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness

DAY 191 - ARE YOU AN OAK OR A REED?

Day 191

My father always quoted Jean de La Fontaine’s fable The Oak and The Reed to teach us how important it was to be flexible in life.  In that fable, the oak is personified as having a stubborn sense of strength, standing tall, never bending, while the humble reed is represented as possessing the qualities of endurance, flexibility, and hidden strength.

De La Fontaine teaches the reader his lesson through the use of nature by having the oak and the reed converse about their strengths. In the end the reed proves his point when the north wind uproots the oak, leaving it to die.  The reed survives thanks to its flexibility.

Having goals in life is of utmost importance.  And perseverance and determination are essential qualities when it comes to reaching your goals.  However, being able to change your direction and having  flexibility when you are confronted with a dead end can make the difference between being successful or not. 

We tend to imagine that success is about reaching the goals we initially set for ourselves. However, life is unpredictable and if we don’t learn to change our plans when the path we have chosen is making us miserable, than we are doomed to fail.  No one can endure pain for that long (unless you enjoy pain in a masochistic way, of course.)

That doesn’t mean giving up as soon as an obstacle arises.  It simply means accepting the fact that you might have taken the wrong road and rectifying the situation.  Going back a few steps doesn’t mean giving up. 

A friend of mine is working on his Master’s degree with a supervisor that is absolutely not suitable for him.  He has been trying to make it work out… At this point, I believe he simply needs to change supervisor.  It might bring him a few steps back, but the ride will definitely be smoother after he does.  And in the end, he will probably reach his goal more quickly than he would with the supervisor he now has!  Trying to make things work at all costs is not always the solution.  It can end up depleting you of your energy!  And, when you think about it, nothing is really ever set in stone!!!!

The challenge is probably to find a balance between perseverance and flexibility…  And although being flexible may sometimes feel like a sign of weakness, it is, as Jean De La Fontaine’s fable tells us, the sign of true strength!!!!

“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it”

 Lao Tzu 

DAY 190 - IMMANUEL KANT AND HAPPINESS

Day 190

Immanuel Kant  was a German Prussian philosopher who lived from 1724 to 1804.   He had a major impact on the Romantic and Idealist philosophies of the 19th Century, and is considered being one of history's most influential Western thinkers.

According to Immanuel Kant, it is impossible to define what happiness is because it is somewhat an ideal of the imagination.  He believed that although happiness could be defined as being a feeling of perfect bliss, no one can know what perfect bliss is, or even what will bring happiness, until the experience takes place.  Therefore, happiness is both indefinite and empirical (based on experience).

Furthermore, if happiness is an ideal of the imagination, how can we use reason to determine what means to take in order to attain it.  For Kant, reason can help avoid pain and unhappiness, but avoiding unhappiness doesn’t mean being happy.

Instead of searching for happiness, Kant thought that people should seek the moral law constructed by reason.  We should focus on trying to lead virtuous lives and not worry about happiness. Kant believed this to be the categorical imperative.  For him, those who perform duties for personal interest are only seemingly moral.  And since the pursuit of happiness is based on personal interest, it cannot be moral.  True happiness can only be found in the moral act and not in the mere satisfaction of personal desire.

  “When a thoughtful human being has overcome incentives to vice and is aware of having done his bitter duty, he finds himself in a state that could be called happiness, a state of contentment and peace of mind in which virtue is its own reward.”

Immanuel Kant