DAY 249 - LEAVING FOR THE SUN...

Day 249

Today, I'm posting early, because tonight, I will be on an airplane, flying over the Atlantic ocean.  The much awaited day has finally come.  We are leaving for a month vacation.  First, we will go to Brussels, Belgium and then, on Monday morning, we will travel to the Costa del Sol (coast of the sun) in Spain.

Costa Del Sol

My holiday will begin as soon as I leave my house... because that's the way it always is.

I will miss you, dear readers, but I will be back soon, with new stories to tell and a heart filled with the joyful sun of Spain.

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT MONTH!

HASTA PRONTO!

DAY 248 - REACHING THE TOP

Day 248

For a few months now, I've been jogging regularly.  I've been talking about it a lot to one of my colleagues who's an avid runner.  She has done many marathons and goes out for a one-hour jog on a daily basis.  She generally runs up Mount Royal, which is a beautiful mountain in the middle of the city of Montreal.

Whenever I walk there, I always get a wonderful peaceful sensation. I feel like I'm in the middle of nature, surrounded by the fresh scent of pine trees and the sweet sound of chirping birds.  The designer of the park, an architect by the name of Frederick Law Olmstead, also designed Central Park, in New York City.  He created a haven, five minutes away from downtown, for all Montrealers to enjoy!

Whenever my colleague talked about her runs up the mountain, I would tell myself: "God, she's in shape!  I'd never be able to do that!"

You have to know that I used to run a maximum of 20 minutes, on a very flat surface. But today, I proved myself wrong.  I ran 10 kilometres, going up the mountain, reaching the top and coming back down.  When I arrived home one hour and fifteen minutes later, I was tired but happy.

That little success made me realize that often, in the past and still today, I'm the one who puts obstacles in my own way!  Maybe it would be time for me to stop doing that!

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DAY 247 - HAPPINESS ACCORDING TO PLATO

Day 247

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato was born in Greece (424BC - 348BC). He founded the Academy in Athens, the first institution of higher learning in the Western world. As many of his contemporaries, and as stated in The Republic, Plato viewed moral as being central to happiness.  For him, to be happy, an immoral person would have to first become moral by developing the four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, temperance and justice.

Wisdom refers to developing the mind and applying acquired knowledge to every day life.   As for courage, Plato refers to it as being visible on the battlefield, but he also defines it as the ability to live according to your convictions.  That is one of the reasons why he greatly admired his mentor and teacher, Socrates, who stood by his beliefs, even when faced with death. Temperance is about self-control and avoiding excessive behaviours.

For Plato, justice holds an important place in moral virtue and therefore, in happiness. It is justice that shows the overall character of an individual.  He believes that happy people are just and just people are happy.

So happiness, or to be closer to the English translation of the Greek word 'eudemonia', human flourishing, is a result of a healthy soul, which comes from living according to moral virtue.

People do not always seek to be virtuous because they do not realize that moral virtue creates happiness.  The choices of excess, the thirst for power and money is often mistakingly perceived as potentially providing happiness.  Human nature is such that people don't always make the healthiest choices,  whether it is in regards to their physical, psychologically or spiritual health.

"Self-conquest is the greatest of victories."
Plato

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DAY 246 - THE EATERY LITERARY SOCIETY STRIKES AGAIN

Day 246

Saturday night, we (The Eatery Literary Society) had our third Book Club meeting.  We were fortunate to have the author of the selected novel attend the evening.  My firiend Karine knew her, so she asked her to come and join us so we could have an "inside" perspective on the book.

As per usual, the evening was wonderful. The novel called Arranged talks about love, relationships and finding your perfect match. Everyone could identify one way or another to the topic, so it created good conversations.  However, because the author was present, everyone seemed a little more restrained in their arguments.  It was nonetheless an interesting and stimulating experience.

The food, once again, was delicious.  Everyone took the time to create a scrumptious dish.  My friend Anna, always brings a dish somehow related to the selected book.  This time around, in the novel, Mexican food is mentioned, so she made guacamole with a tomato salsa and a mango salsa.  A truly tasty culinary experience.

At the end of the evening, as he was leaving, my cousin Chris said something that truly made me happy.  He said: "This book club was your idea, right? I don't know why we waited so long to do it. "  And I agree with him.  It is such a great way to spend time with your friends discussing, exchanging and learning in an atmosphere of fun!

This book club has brought me so much... It has allowed me to combine many of the essential ingredients to my happiness. I get to read with a purpose, which I love. I get to connect with my friends. I get to feel intellectually stimulated. I get to eat good food.  And I get to share a little moment of happiness with people I really care for!  Long live The Eatery Literary Society!  I can't wait for our next meeting...

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DAY 245 - DIGGING THE SOIL FOR HAPPINESS

Day 245

My love for gardening began when I was very young.  I remember always being excited when it was time to plant our vegetable garden and flowers.  My father and I would get all we needed and spend hours digging, planting arranging and, at the end, admiring our newly acquired marvels.

I've always thought that the reason why I felt that way was because I liked feeling close to nature and taking the time to surround myself with beauty.  I've also always seen gardening as being a relaxing, almost meditative activity. However, I recently discovered that my love for it might also come from the fact that by digging and raking soil, I was being exposed to a joy-inducing bacterium.

In 2007, Dorothy Matthews, a Microbiology Researcher at The Sage Colleges in Troy, New York and her colleagues conducted a scientific research that showed that Mycobacterium vaccae,  a bacterium commonly found in dirt has the ability to increase the levels of serotonin in the brain and, therefore, can help brighten the mood, reduce the stress-level and contribute to happiness.  The experiment, done with mice, also showed that it increased mental sharpness.

Some people view gardening as a chore... In my case, it's a pleasure.  I live in the city, so I just have a tiny little garden, but it is big enough to plant a variety of perennial and annual flowers. Unfortunately, my busy schedule doesn't allow me to garden as much as I would like, but the little time I spend smelling the scent of the earth always gives me great joy!

Besides all that, gardening is a great way to add beauty to your environment, get a little exercise and use your creativity!

"There can be no other occupation like gardening in which, if you were to creep up behind someone at their work, you would find them smiling."

Mirabel Osler

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DAY 244: HAPPINESS VOX POP: SUMMER TIGER, SINGLE MOTHER, PSYCHOLOGY GRADUATE STUDENT... AND SO MUCH MORE!

Day 244

Summer Tiger

I am a 29 year old single mother who lives in Los Angeles, Ca.  with my 2 &1/2 year old daughter, Phoenix.  I am a graduate student in a clinical psychology program focusing on Marriage and Family Therapy. I grew up in Miami, Florida,  in a divorced family around drugs, alcohol, and chaos, so clearly psychology was my destined field.  I am 25% Seminole Indian, and the rest is some mix of Irish, French, Russian, Polish, British and who knows what else.  I love yoga, reading, electronic music, and my new addiction is painting.  I've moved every year since I was 17, but I'm trying to give it up.  I have a weakness for novelty, sex, and chocolate.  I've been a dancer, a casino floor manager, a sales assistant, a waitress, and a research assistant.  I don't subscribe to any dogma, but I believe in a divine connectedness and in my higher self.  I think that covers most of it!

What is happiness for you?

For me happiness is about learning and growing through experience, finding the people and things that I love, exploring my passions, and including all of it in my daily life, in the right amount... that part took me a long time to figure out!  Thinking of happiness as a process of continued growth and balance, rather than some goal to achieve allows me to appreciate my ups and downs, knowing that if it contributes to my growth, then it adds to my happiness.

Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?

Yes, completely.  I am beginning to understand what self-acceptance means, rather than hiding the parts of me that I felt were unloveable.  In embracing my own anger, my insecurities, my darkness, I have felt more connected to the people in my life, I guess because I feel more honest.  So now my vision of happiness includes being an authentic person, whereas before I didn't really understand what that meant.


Has your vision of happiness greatly changed through time?

When I was younger it was more about what made me feel good in any given moment.  That didn't work out too well!  I've sought happiness in relationships, in work, in novelty... in everything outside myself.  So the greatest shift for me is the shift from external to internal sources of happiness.


Do you believe you have control on your level of happiness?


That's a tricky one! At this point in my life, and in my personal understanding of happiness I would say yes.  I can control my dedication to my growth and awareness, and I can make choices that maximize my happiness.  If something awful happened outside of my control I would obviously be unhappy for a length of time, but I could choose how I wanted to move through it and find a way to learn.  It's completely subjective though, because some people truly do not have control over their level of happiness, like children, people with severe mental and physical illnesses,  etc.


What do you do to change your mood when you’re feeling sad?

I try to allow myself to be sad, and just go into it.  Usually if I give myself permission to be sad, and maybe cry, it seems to pass.  I've learned that distractions and escapes just end up kicking me in the ass. Also the idea of hiding it from my daughter didn't work too well for me, as if she doesn't read me like a book.  If I want her to be able to accept her own emotions, she needs to see me accepting mine.

On the whole, would you say you are a happy person?

Definitely.  My life isn't always easy or kind, but it is deeply meaningful and rewarding.  That makes me happy.

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DAY 243 - I AM ME AND YOU ARE YOU...

Day 243

Last Monday morning, I attended a year-end breakfast for my youngest daughter.  This event was meant to celebrate the end of grade 1, show our appreciation to the teacher and socialize with other parents.  As I arrived, I overheard a conversation between two parents.  One of them was telling the other: "Yes, I loved grade 1.  The house is so much quieter now... My son goes into his room and reads novels on his own!"  Lucky you!

My house is not any quieter!  My six year-old daughter doesn't discreetly go into her bedroom for two hours to read a novel!  She still has tons of energy and, although she is a good reader, she is not reading Dostoievsky just yet.  And I personally think it's quite normal.  However, as she was talking, I did wonder if, by now,  my daughter should be reading more on her own.

Many of us tend to compare ourselves to others.  It probably helps us define who we are.  In Canada, I'm neither rich nor poor, I am part of the middle class.  I know that by comparing myself to others.  If I were living in Africa, maybe I'd have another perception of where I stand socially.  Defining who we are is a very relative concept. 

Studies have shown, that comparing yourself to others can really be a source of unhappiness; that is of course, if you are comparing yourself with someone who you deem as being better off than you, which is what most of us do.  Comparing yourself with those who are worst off could actually help you become more grateful for what you have.

The problem is if you keep focusing on everyone else's life, you’re going to stop paying attention to your own goals.  What is more important than finding out how other people do things, is figuring out what you want to do with your own life and work towards it. 

The beauty about getting older is that you don't get sidetracked as much anymore.  You know yourself better, so you become more confident about your choices.  And you also become aware of all the wasted energy you could spend on looking at what others have, and developing feelings of envy or jealousy.

Everyone has a unique journey... all you have to do is find out what yours is.  And then, comparing yourself with others will most likely simply become irrelevant.

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DAY 242 - LET'S GET HOLISTIC! THE BODY'S ENERGY FLOW!

Day 242

Energy is the source of all life.  It flows in and around us.  According to many Asian traditional medicines, good health, both mental and physical, is achieved when this energy freely flows through the body.

Our vital energy, or "chi" as Chinese people call it, is thought to flow along meridians, which are invisible pathways through the body.  Any blockage in the flow could create imbalance and lead to illness.

There are many reasons why energy blockages appear in the body.  Amongst which a poor diet, stress, and how the individual perceives and reacts emotionally to life's hurdles. Your body needs to be relaxed for energy to flow.  Tension is said to stop the flow.

When we are worried and stressed, we send a message of fear and insecurity to our body . The natural reaction of the body is to protect itself. How? By tensing the muscles that are related to self protection, for example, the back and shoulder muscles.

The first thing to do in order to restore the energy flow, is to release those tensions.  Relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation, exercise and getting a massage can all be quite efficient in that regard.

You also need to get proper sleep, develop good eating habits, drink a lot of water and reduce your sugar intake (especially in the form of candy and artificial sweeteners).

However, if the flow of energy has been blocked for a longer time and physical ailments start appearing, there are several techniques you can resort to in order to rectify the situation, amongst which Acupuncture, Acupressure, Emotional Freedom Technique, Qigong, Reiki, etc.

These energy healing methods are becoming popular as complementary therapies. Obviously, you first need to believe they can help you.

My father has been a fan of Acupuncture for many years.  He has successfully used it many times to treat seasonal allergies.  My friend Catherine, who suffers from cat and dust allergies, has just completed a treatment in acupuncture as well.  She recently came over to my house (we have a cat) and,  contrarily to all the previous times she had come, her nose and eyes didn't itch at all.  I've heard of people being cured of migraines, menstrual cramps, insomnia, etc. with acupuncture.

I have had treatments in Acupressure... and I was quite impressed.  At the end of the treatment, I don't know what the therapist did, but I started crying uncontrollably!  I wasn't thinking of anything sad!  But I couldn't stop the tears from falling!  It felt very strange to me, but he told me it happened quite often,   that it was probably because I had the tendency to bottle up emotions.

There are many ways to get energy flowing through your body in order to maximize you mental and physical health.  It is just a matter of believing these techniques work. And I understand why some people would be skeptical about them.  Their efficiency hasn't extensively been proven scientifically.
However, they have been around for thousands of years.  So, if they didn't work, wouldn't these practise have disappeared by now?

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DAY 241 - WORSHIPING THE SUN GOD!

Day 241

Two days ago, my oldest daughter asked me what would happen if the sun would die.  Before I could answer her, she told me: "Well, mom, I think, the Human Race would disappear. All the trees would die, there wouldn't be anymore oxygen on earth so human beings and animals wouldn't be able to survive.''.

As she was talking, I wanted to tell her: "But you're nine years old, why are you asking such deep questions? Shouldn't you be talking about your friends, your teachers or your next soccer match?"  But she is my daughter after all (the apple never falls very far from the tree) and she started asking existential questions when she was only five.  So, by now, I'm used to it.

It made me think of how, throughout history, the sun has been worshiped by every single civilization: from Ancient Greeks, to Egyptians, Romans, Aztec, Mayans, etc.   It was perceived by ancient cultures and still represents the ultimate source of ENERGY and LIFE!

On a more personal level, I have to tell you that the sun has an impact on my mood. When I wake up, look out the window and can't tell if it's morning or night because of the thickness of the clouds,  I need a double dose of espresso to wake up, because all I want to do is crawl back into bed!  On the other hand, when the sun is shining, I simply can't wait to get on with my day!

With all the health concerns we now have about the sun, we have forgotten the fact that it also benefits us in a number of ways. The sun delivers heat and raises core body temperature, which in turn increase cell function and therefore can help in the detoxification and purification of the body. Sun also regulates our natural biorhythm cycles.

Moreover, getting up to ten minutes of direct sun exposure each day helps the body produce vitamin D, which helps regulate calcium levels and absorption. It is necessary for healthy bones and teeth. It is also important for healthy immune function, nervous function, for insulin/blood sugar regulation, and for numerous endocrine and digestive functions.

Finally, one other benefit of sunlight for most people is that it can enhance the mood. Many people associate sunlight with happiness and stimulation. In fact, sunlight has been known to combat depression, especially sadness experienced by those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder or SAD (depression that appear during winter months because of the lack of sunshine).

In Montreal, I can't remember the last time I saw so much rain in the months of May and June.  Today marks the return of the SUN and I feel that everyone's in a better mood!  It's physiological... fighting the cold and the rain depletes you of your energy... feeling the warmth of the sun reenergizes you!  SO, LONG LIVE THE SUN!  And all we can hope is that the warmth and sunshine are here to stay!

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DAY 240 - ARE YOU AN EXTROVERT OR AN INTROVERT?

Day 240

The terms "extrovert" and "introvert" are often used to describe individuals' interpersonal relations, but what do these words mean?

The terms originated from psychologist Carl Jung.  According to Jung, the extrovert is directed toward the outside world while the introvert is directed toward the self.   He characterized extroverts as being energized by being around other people and drained by being alone, and introverts as drawing their energy from solitary experiences and being depleted of it in social contexts.

Some people are total extraverts, others complete introverts, but most of us are a combination of both, with a predominance.

Many studies, in the field of positive psychology, suggest that extroverts are more likely to be happy.  Some even go as far as advising introverts to emulate their extrovert friends in order to achieve greater happiness.  I think that is RIDICULOUS.  One of the most important things in any quest for happiness is to accept who YOU ARE, not to try to become something you're not!

The reason why we tend to believe extroverts are happier, once again, has to do with our Western conception of happiness.  We associate happiness to excitement, liveliness, etc...  and obviously, if you are an extrovert, you are more likely to be that way.

On the other hand, the Eastern philosophy puts a lot more emphasis on being centred, in contact with your inner self.  And since introverts need to spend time alone to recharge their batteries, they tend to find pleasure in going inward.

An extrovert will never understand how someone could prefer being alone than going out with friends, and for the introvert, it's the other way around.

I consider myself more of an extravert than an introvert, but I do feel like I also enjoy being by myself.  I love reading, writing and meditating.   And, although it is not from solitary experiences that I draw my energy, I still need quiet time spent alone.

In the end, the happiest people are probably the ones who manage to achieve balance in their lives.  Those who always need to be in company and keep busy and hate being alone as well as those who lack social interaction and connections cannot possibly be truly happy.  To really maximize your wellbeing, you need to learn to be content in both contexts.


   

DAY 239 - VISUALIZATION: A SUCCESS STORY!

Day 239

Who hasn't heard about visualization?  I actually remember it being fashionable in the 1970's.  My father owned a few relaxation vinyl records that used visualization to ease stress.  At the time, and probably still today, it was also used by athletes.  I remember my friend Christina, who was an elite gymnast, using it before competitions.  She would mentally see herself perform her routines.

More recently, visualization was rediscovered with the bestseller The Secret.  The question is: does it really work?  Could you really achieve your goals just by using visualization?  It's worked for me a couple of times, when I visualized about finding a parking spot in front of my house, but I can't say that I have attempted it on more important goals.

Last week, my students had to do an oral presentation on their passion.  One of my students decided to talk to us about her love for traveling. To present her topic, she told us a very interesting and touching story.  A couple of years ago, she fell ill.  Her white cell/red cell counts were not quite right (I don't know exactly what kind of disease she had).  After a few months of treatments that were unsuccessful, the doctor told her they had to stop treating her.

She was very sad for a couple of weeks, but then she decided that she was not going to feel sorry for herself anymore.  She began dreaming about going to French Polynesia (Tahiti).  She started researching it on Internet.  She spent hours looking for hotels, printing out images, exploring the area.  She was planning her trip as if it was really happening. Her husband kept on telling her they didn't have the money to go, but that if she found it, he would certainly be more than happy to travel there with her.

One day, she randomly decided to participate in a draw.  The price was 10,000$.  Through some kind of miracle... she won.  She bought tickets for her, her husband and her two daughters and they all went to spend two weeks on a paradise island...  I know, because I saw her pictures!

One year later, her blood count was back to normal!!!!  She had also won her battle against her disease!

When I hear such success stories, it really convinces that we all have unused mind power!  And that if we could learn to tap into that power, we would be happier, wiser and able to achieve so much more!

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DAY 238 - THE 'HELICOPTER' PARENT AND RAISING HAPPY CHILDREN

Day 238


All right, so I might be one of those "helicopter" parents, constantly hovering over my kids, trying to shelter them from the painful realities of the world!  I buy organic food, attend all their soccer matches (my husband coaches them), sit in the first row when they have their piano concerts...  and my kids have tons of activities.

I know I am not the only person of my generation doing that!  Many of us are over-scheduling our kids, giving them way too much attention. As a result, children are less creative when left on their own and tend to have a hard time organizing themselves and being autonomous.  If I look back at my own childhood, my brothers and I certainly didn't get all this attention.  And I, for one, remember waking up early and having breakfast on my own in the kitchen at the age of 7.

When we have friends over for dinner, my kids will sit with us and get involved in the conversation... When we were kids and my father had colleagues over for dinner,  we would have never dared utter a word.  We sat down, listened, never talked to adults unless we were spoken to and impatiently waited to finish up our dinner to go play in the basement.


Canadian Family Coach David Code published a book called To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.   In his book, he talks about the fact that our generation focuses too much on children.  As a result, we are raising children who are likely to become self-centred and obnoxious and who are not prepared for independence. 


He thinks that parents should focus on their spouse more and on their kids less.  It would result in their kids becoming happier and healthier, and their relationships growing stronger.


Today's child-centred marriages create self-centred, demanding children and over-anxious, exhausted parents, argues Code.  Well-intentioned parents are sacrificing their lives and relationships. 


Instead of trying to be the perfect parent, he suggests trying to be the perfect partner. "Make your marriage priority No. 1 and move your kids to priority No. 2. This is win-win for all parties," says Code, "Right now, our marriages aren't even making the Top 10 daily priorities."


I have noticed that, today, there are way more conflicts in the schoolyard between children than when I was young.  Is it because all of these kids are self-centred and feel entitled?  Are we creating a generation of people who will be unable to cooperate, because of inflated egos?


I guess maybe it is time for my whole generation, including myself, to rethink our way of raising our children! The solution is not going back to the way things were 50 years ago, but maybe to try to find a balance so that children learn to become more independent, creative and less self-centred!  By doing that, we could very well be investing in their present, but also their future happiness!

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness.

DAY 237 - OMEGA 3'S TO BOOST YOUR MOOD: HOW NOT TO GET TOO CONFUSED WHEN YOU'RE BUYING FISH!!

Day 237

So, they say (I still don't know who they are), that you should have fish twice a week.  Especially those fish that contain high levels of omega-3's.  One of the benefits being that it can help boost the mood.  If we could just do that!  Go to the fish market, buy fish and eat it.  But it is far more complicated than that.

The main concern, when it comes to fish is the amount of pollutant and mercury it contains.  Take tuna, for instance, because it has such an extended life expectancy, the level of mercury found in it is very high, so it is recommended for pregnant women and children to avoid eating it.

Salmon contains mercury as well, but a lot of healthy omega 3's.  You should actually buy wild salmon and not farm-raised salmon, which contains a higher amount of contaminants and mercury and has a negative impact on the environment.  But what about organic salmon? Doesn't it sound like it could be a healthier choice? I guess it depends on what they mean by organic.  All these variables make the simple task of buying fish so complex!!!!

As I was researching this topic, I read some advice that I thought was very comical.  For instance, that you shouldn't buy fish that comes from polluted waters, that you should make sure it comes from pristine, clean, pure water! As if I don't know that!  Except that I am not the one fishing the darn thing, so of course the merchant is not going to tell me that his fish comes from an extremely polluted river and that, in fact, the pesticide content and mercury levels of his products are very high!

So it leaves me with a dilemma.  Which fish should I buy?  Which one is the safest and healthiest choice? I stumbled upon an article that enlightened me a little and that was published in the March 2009 issue of Cooking Light called How to Buy the Best Fish. It is a great article to read if you, like me, have become  overwhelmed  by the wide selection of  fish available.   With the help of very simply and straightforward language this article helped me to better understand the differences between harvesting methods (i.e. wild vs. farm-raised) and the environmental and health implications of each method on the fish we buy.

My conclusion is that, as for anything, you shouldn't become obsessed with finding perfection in your fish buying.  Fish has far more benefits than disadvantages.   Being informed is important, because it helps you make wiser decisions, but becoming obsessively worried about what you put on your plate could  be detrimental to your mental health!

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DAY 236 - A GREAT DAY!

Day 236

Happiness can be achieved through daily effort.  It is not something that will miraculously fall from the sky.  So, it's no use waiting around for it.  You need to live your life keeping that in mind and making sure that, on a daily basis, you make choices that are conducive to YOUR INDIVIDUAL happiness.

Last night, as I meditated upon my day, I tried to see if I was satisfied with my choices and then, I thought it would probably be a good idea to determine what I consider being a GREAT DAY! 

It's utopian to believe that a day can go by without hurdles, so the idea is not to seek perfection, but to learn to cope with hurdles without letting it affect your mental state.  

Ideally, I like to wake up early and enjoy the silence of my house for half an hour, sipping my coffee and taking the time to wake up.  Afterwards, I feel ready to calmly face the morning routine.

At work, I  like to arrive a few minutes before the beginning of my class, so that I don't feel rushed on the road or upon my arrival at school.  

As a teacher, I love it when I'm at my best, that means being prepared and giving my students the knowledge and energy they need in order for them to reach their full potential.

As for my blog,  I usually write it in the early afternoon.  I love it when I've determined my topic in advance, but I accept the fact that it might not always be the case and that sometimes, I will need to research, read and struggle to find one.  All I am convinced of is that, by the end of the afternoon, I will have written something.  And that alone is enough to give me peace of mind.

I feel good when I eat a healthy breakfast, a healthy lunch and a healthy dinner.  It impacts my physical, but also my mental wellbeing... That doesn't mean I won't sometimes indulge in food that is not so healthy, but the matter of the fact is, I don't feel so well afterwards... so making healthy choices gives me more satisfaction than indulging in unhealthy ones.

I always feel better when I exercise in the day.  Even if it's just fast walking.

I need to fight negative thoughts that, in my case,  often come in the form of worry ... They sometimes slowly crawl into my mind...  It's a constant battle and probably one of the hardest  habits to get rid of and also a major hinderance to the achievement of happiness.  It requires to control your mind and shift your attention to the present moment, which is not always easy.

In terms of my relationships, I need to feel that I'm connecting with the people I love on a daily basis - whether it is with my family, my friends or my colleagues.  And I hate feeling that there is something wrong with one of my relationships.  I rather confront people, express my emotions than live in a state of  resentment, guilt or anger.  When I go to bed at night, I like to feel lighthearted.

I really look forward to getting into my bed when I know I have a great book awaiting me.  It's a real source of happiness for me!

Meditating before going to bed permits me to empty my mind of worries and also, to take the time to be grateful for everything that I have.  It connects me with my spiritual side.

I know what a GREAT DAY is for me.  It mostly requires me to find balance and peace of mind.  All I need to do is to try to always make the right choices so I can sail in happy waters as much as possible!

And what about you?  What's a great day for you?

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness.
  

DAY 235 - WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?

Day 235

Today, I was talking about addictions to a friend who wants to quit smoking  When I stopped, more than 15 years ago, I remember thinking it was going to be hard.  I couldn't imagine myself not smoking for the rest of my life... I enjoyed it so much, especially in the morning with a nice cup of coffee, or at night with an exotic cocktail!

At the time, it was so hard to quit.  Everywhere I went: bars, restaurants, even airplanes, people smoked.   And that's without mentioning the fact that most of my friends were smokers... So, I was constantly exposed to temptation.

In order to be successful in quitting, every time I got the urge to smoke, I told myself I wouldn't have that particular cigarette, but that maybe I'd smoke the next one.  Day after day, I repeated that to myself until the urge slowly dissipated.

I think that one of the problems with addictions is that they impede on your freedom.  And I certainly don't want to be a slave to anything or anyone?

Some addictions have a real negative impact on mental and physical health: drugs, gambling, alcohol, overeating and tobacco, for instance.  But contrarily to popular belief, they come in various forms and many of us suffer from some level of addiction without realizing it.  Workaholics, for instance, compulsive exercise fanatics or love addicts are all examples of addictions that could be hard to detect.

An addiction is when you engage in an activity that generates a feeling of euphoria, or a “high" created by the release of brain chemicals.  You then develop an uncontrollable need to have that feeling over and over again.

We live in a world that views excitement as being a synonym of happiness!  And addictions provide people with that instantaneous rush. No wonder they believe it will make them happy.  The problem is, the high is inevitably followed by a low...

So, seeing that we cannot live our lives entirely on a "high",  it's our whole definition of happiness that needs to change.  We need to shift our perception and start focusing on achieving balance and inner peace, which sounds really boring, but is more likely to create a long-lasting feeling of well-being.

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness.

DAY 234 - A LITTLE GIRL'S SMALL VICTORY BUT GIANT STEP

Day 234

My daughters had their year-end piano concert today.   I was especially nervous for my youngest daughter.  At the previous one, around Christmastime, although she was prepared, at the last minute, as they called up her name, she refused to go up.

I tried to convince her, encourage her, but she was crying and I thought it wasn't worth it.  At the time, I remember wondering if we should have  insisted a little more...  It was the second time that she was really enthusiastic about doing something and felt too shy to follow through with it.  Both times, she felt really sad about it.

The funny thing with her is that she is extraverted but extremely timid at the same time. She is also very stubborn.  Once she makes a decision, she will almost never change her mind. So trying to convince her is often a lost battle.

So, as we walked into the concert hall, I apprehensively wondered if she was going to find the courage to do it.

When they said her name, I sat there, waiting to see what she was going to do.  She didn't cry, she didn't even look at me.  She got up, went straight to the piano and played her piece of music.  I started crying  (I guess it was my turn to cry).  She played beautifully.  After she finished, she got up, bowed and came back to her seat.

I was so proud that she had been able to overcome her timidity.  When we left the concert hall, she was happy and she told me: "Mommy I knew I was going to be able to do it, because, even though I had butterflies in my stomach,  I told myself: I CAN DO THIS!"

It was a small victory, but also a giant step for my daughter.  From now on, she'll know that when she really puts her mind to something, she can achieve it...  and that makes me really happy!

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness.

DAY 233 - SAFFRON ANYONE? MIDDLE EASTERN SPICE SAID TO BOOST MOOD

Day 233

Yesterday, I went to the health food store.  As I entered, I noticed a poster with a headline that said: SAFFRON, A NATURAL ANTI-DEPRESSANT.  It caught my attention and I thought I would do some research on it.

I have only eaten saffron on the rare occasion when I have had paella, a Spanish traditional dish.   I enjoy the taste of it, but I must admit, it has never been part of my spice rack, which come to think of it, probably needs a little boost in terms of variety!

As I was doing my research, I stumbled upon a study done by an Iranian psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Ahmad Ali Noorbala’s,  who compared the effects of saffron with fluoxetine (better known as Prosac)  for symptoms of mild to moderate depression. Thirty-eight people aged 18 to 55 years old completed the six-week trial.

At the end of the study, both the saffron and fluoxetine treatments resulted in significant improvements in depressive symptoms, with no difference in the amount of improvement between the two groups.  They found that, like other medications used to treat depression, saffron increases the levels of certain chemicals in the brain, including serotonin.

Saffron has been used for medicinal purposes in Persia for Centuries.   Besides fighting depression, it is said to help improve memory function, to act as an anti-inflammatory and to be helpful in the treatment of some illnesses (i.e. heart disease and cancer).  It apparently also has aphrodisiac properties and can contribute to the decrease of pre-menstrual syndrome!

Finding out such information makes me wonder why our modern society doesn't try to integrate alternative medicine to traditional medicine.  I've always felt that the two approaches are at war when, ideally, they should merge in order to offer people an array of options to choose from.

I just read an article that talked about the fact that the state of North Carolina is thinking of criminalizing the practise of Alternative Medicine (Naturopaths, Midwives), how ridiculous is that?  Does traditional medicine feel so threatened by its more 'natural' counterpart  that it has to use its political influence  to legislate against it?

Saffron is a tasty, colourful, yellow spice that has mental and physical benefits!  And a Naturopath who would prescribe it to a patient shouldn't have to go to jail or pay a fine for doing so!

So saffron is on my next shopping list.  It's apparently a little expensive, but I think it is worth it.  With all its benefits (decreasing PMS, boosting the mood, aphrodisiac, etc.) , I'm sure I'll love it!  ! I've already started looking up recipes and I'm already salivating just at the thought of trying out something new!

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness.

  

DAY 232 - CITY LIVING, SUBURBAN LIVING...WHICH ONE WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPIER?

Day 232

Yesterday, my eldest daughter had a soccer match at 6:30pm, in a suburb of the city. It was rush hour.  I left home at 5pm and got to the field just in time for the match.  It made me think of the fact that some people actually drive that distance in traffic on a daily basis.   Having a family and the zillion responsibilities that come with it, I cannot imagine having to be in my car for a total of three hours a day.  I would go crazy... There are so many things you could accomplish in three hours...

I work in a suburb of Montreal, but I live in the city.  So, every morning, I drive against traffic.  It takes me around 25 minutes to get to work, which I feel is  reasonable.  And, to be quite honest, I don't think I could handle spending more time than that commuting.

Obviously, a house in the suburbs costs much less than a house in the city... And I understand the desire to want to have a bigger piece of land and two or three bathrooms! But is it worth the hastle of having to spend so much time commuting?

Swiss economists Bruno Frey and Alois Stutzer studied the phenomenon and called it "the commuters paradox". They found that people underestimate the pain of a long commute when they decide to live in the suburb. They believe that their bigger house, their bigger yard and their three bathrooms will bring them more happiness.

In fact, according to the study, a person with a one-hour commute has to earn 40 percent more money to be as satisfied with life as someone who walks to the office. And that is not taking into account the fact that commuting wastes valuable time that could be spent with your family, socializing with your friends or simply enjoying life!

I guess it is up to each person to evaluate the pros and the cons when making the decision on where to live.  The problem is, if we tend to underestimate the unhappiness commuting may generate and overestimate the happiness a bigger house would provide us with, we might not be able to make the best decision possible!

All I know is that I could never spend three hours of my day, each day, stuck in a traffic jam!  I would become this unbearable impatient always-in-a-bad-mood kind of person and I would probably end up annoying everyone around me with whining and complaints!  Basically, I know I need to live in the city for my happiness as well as those around me!

And what about you?  Where would you rather live?

If you like this post, pass it along.  To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group:  500daystohappiness.