DAY 328 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - JACQUELINE PINEL TREMBLAY, A VISIONARY

Day 328 

Mural made by my oldest
daughter's class last year.

I love my children's school.  The first time I visited it, I fell in love with it.  The walls were decorated with colourful art work.  At the time, I remember thinking that as a child, I would have loved to attend such a joyful school. 

What is particular about that school is that it has an artistic vocation.  From the age of three, children learn music, painting, theatre and dance.  This great school was created thanks to the vision and the passion of one woman, Jacqueline Pinel Tremblay.

Jacqueline Pinel Tremblay was born in France.  Being interested in art at a young age, she decides to study Fine Arts at the "École nationale supérieure des beaux-arts de Paris". After immigrating to Canada, she continues her studies at the Montreal School of Fine Arts.

      

In 1965, as a graduated fresco painter, Jacqueline Pinel Tremblay decides to found a preschool program that focuses on Fine Arts.  L'École Buissonnière is born.  Very quickly, the school becomes recognized for the quality of its teaching as well as its numerous realizations.  A few years later, due to its growing popularity and in response to the needs of its clientele, theater, music and dance are added to the program.  

In 1994, upon receiving a permit from the Ministry of Education, Mrs. Tremblay decides to extend the artistic educational project of the school to the primary level.

Mural made by my youngest
daughter's class last year.

Today, the school counts about four hundred happy children, from ages three to twelve.  The school's curriculum  includes the arts (music, dance, theatre and painting), the study of different historical periods as well as the traditional academic subjects.   In kindergarten, children learn pre-history, in grade 1 Antiquity, etc., up to grade six where they study the Twentieth Century.  The program integrates  the arts to the general knowledge.  For instance, when, in grade 2,  children study the Middle Ages, they will also look at styles of paintings and listen to music from that era.

Mrs. Jacqueline Tremblay had a vision of creating a program to develop children's minds through creativity.  It could have stayed in her mind... but she made it happen and the result is a school that has slowly expanded and that has now an identity and a soul.

When someone has a spark of genius and he or she takes the time to ignite it, it could create breathtaking fireworks!  That's what happened in the case of Mrs. Tremblay.

DAY 327 - MAKING COMPROMISES

DAY 327

Because I'm in charge of making the schedule for five teachers in the English Department, every time a session begins, I'm confronted with everyone's requests.  I believe that when you're happy, you work better, you radiate positive energy and you help create an enjoyable working environment.  So, I always try to accomodate the teachers as much as possible. 

However, last session, pleasing everyone was simply an impossibility.  In the end, I'm the one who ended up feeling stressed out.  I felt like I was trying to assemble a puzzle that had oversized pieces.  I just couldn't do it.  I did manage to produce a schedule, but once it was done, I realized that not all of the teachers were satisfied with it.

Living or working with people requires making compromises.  You need to give and take.  It's not easy to do.  Everyone wants to pull on their side of the blanket to get the bigger piece, but being like that comes with a price: the price of war!  Developing harmonious relationships requires you to be flexible and accept that you won't always get things your way.

For the next session, I've decided that we were all going to sit down together to draw the first draft of the schedule.  Each of the teachers is going to give his or her requests in order of importance.  If I see that one request goes against another, I'll have them figure it out.  And, I'll go down their list, making sure they all get the same number of requests granted.  That way, it will be fair and they'll all be aware of the concessions the others are making.

Knowing how to compromise is a key component to having healthy relationships, whether it is with co-workers, friends or your partner. However, you always have to make sure it's a compromise that feels right.  A "bad compromise" would be one that makes you change in a way that you wind up becoming less of your full, authentic, thriving self.  While a "good compromise" would help you change in such a way that you grow into your most full, authentic, best self.

Some things are just not worth the fight and rising above your ego by letting go of the control can help you create a happier and more harmonious home and work environment.

"A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece."

Ludwig Erhard 

DAY 326 - LOOKING AT OLD PHOTOS

Day 326

On one of the walls in the back of my house, there are many pictures hanging. Pictures of my husband and I ,  my nephews and nieces, my brothers, my parents, etc. I rarely stop and look at them, but today I did. I looked at an old picture of my husband and I.  A picture of us taken more than 20 years ago. We look really bad. We have the eighties hairdo and style.  I don't know what we were all thinking back then, but nobody really looked that great!

As I was looking at it, I thought of how I enjoy looking at old pictures.  I have many old photo albums and sometimes, my husband, my children and I will sit down together, look at them and reminisce.   We haven't made a 'traditional' album in over 5 years.  Now, we have many virtual albums with hundreds of pictures, but it's not the same.  Call me old fashion, but I really prefer turning pages when I look at photos.   Looking at a slideshow on a computer doesn't give me the same sensation.

My youngest daughter at 2 years old
trying to be cool on the beach.

But no matter what form it takes, I still love it.  Looking at old pictures never fails to make me feel alive.  I'll smile,  laugh and even sometimes cry.  Photos always bring out tons of emotions.

 As I've mentioned before, experiences are more conducive to happiness than objects (see HOW TO SPEND MONEY AND MAXIMIZE HAPPINESS, because they are lived once and can be relived again and again through reminiscence.  Keeping a visual record of those experiences can really help keep all those happy memories and experiences alive.

DAY 325 - TURNING YOUR EYES TOWARDS THE FUTURE

Day 325

Today, one of my students came to see me after class.  She wanted to ask my advice on her career choice.  She is of Lebanese origin.  Her and her husband had to leave Lebanon 15 years ago for security reasons.  She's 34 years old and has four children.  She has never gone back to her country and so, has been far away from her family all that time.

When she started talking to me, she simply wanted to know if I believed she ought to go back to university, which means only graduating in four years, or she should become a secretary, which would only take her a year and a half.

I asked her to think about what SHE REALLY WANTED to do, not taking into account the practical aspect of her decision.  Little did I know that I had just stricken a very sensitive chord.  She began to cry uncontrollably.

For the last 15 years, she hasn't thought about what SHE wants.  Obligations have dictated her every move. She never wanted to leave Lebanon.  She's very close to her family and feels very lonely here, with no siblings or parents to give her support.  She's been putting herself last for more than a decade and so making a decision only based on her needs is a real challenge for her.

She's not the only person who has done that.  Many people sacrifice their lives for others (immigrants in particular tend to sacrifice their life for the wellbeing of their children) only to become resentful and regretful.  My student, at age 34, carries a luggage full of "would haves", "could haves" and "should haves".  She was an actrice in Lebanon, and she loved her life.  She was happy.  Here, she feels worthless, alone, with no real passion for anything.  The problem is, the burden she carries keeps her from going forward. 

Since she cannot change her past, she needs to leave it behind her, where it belongs. However, she does have the power to draw her future.  She still holds the key to it.

Sometimes, people carry such a heavy load that they can no longer see hope for the future.  In those cases, learning to let go of the past and turn to what life can offer you HERE, NOW and in the FUTURE is the only way to find peace of mind and happiness.        

DAY 324 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - ERIK WEIHENMAYER, THE BLIND MAN WHO CLIMBED THE WORLD'S HIGHEST PEAK

Day 324

Erik Weihenmayer was born in 1969. A slight irregularity in his eyes when he was an infant alerted his parents to seek medical attention. He was diagnosed with retinoscheses, a degenerative eye disorder that progressively unraveled his retinas and claimed his eyesight by the age of thirteen.

His parents made sure their son grew up as normal as possible and taught him to be self-sufficient.  He was determined from an early age to rise above his disability. In his autobiography called  Touch the Top of the World: A Blind Man’s Journey To Climb Farther Than the Eye Can See, he tells how his family played an important role in his battle to break through the barriers of blindness.

Thanks to his relentless determination, Erik became a middle-school teacher , acrobatic skydiver, long distance biker, marathon runner, skier, wrestler, scuba diver, ice climber, and rock climber.   But what caught public attention was when, on May 25 2001, he became the first blind man to  reach the summit of Mount Everest, the world's highest peak and on September 5, 2002, when he stood on top of Mt. Kosciusko in Australia, thereby completing his 7-year quest to climb the Seven Summits - the highest mountains on each of the seven continents, joining only 150 mountaineers ever to do so.

Erik's extraordinary accomplishments have gained him abundant press coverage including repeated visits to many television shows. He has also been featured on the cover of Time magazine, Sports Illustrated, and People.  Erik has won a wide variety of prestigious awards and has been responsible for raising millions of dollars for blind organizations and other worthy causes in the United States and around the world.

Erik is married to his long-time sweetheart Ellie. They were married at 13,000 feet on Kilimanjaro. He lives with his wife and daughter, Emma, in Golden, Colorado.

Many of us struggle to accept things the way they are and are stuck with the belief that some things are just  inaccessible.  Erik has proved us wrong by making the impossible possible.

"One has the ability to do so much with little things. One must succeed in spite of adversity".

Erik Weihenmayer

DAY 323 -DECREASING CORTISOL LEVELS

Day 323


Cortisol is an important hormone in the body, which is activated in response to physical and mental stress.  It is secreted by the adrenal glands and involved, amongst other things, in the regulation of blood pressure, insulin release for blood sugar maintenance,  immune function and inflammatory response.

Normally, it’s present in the body at higher levels in the morning, and at its lowest at night. Small increases of cortisol have some positive effects: it can increase energy, heighten memory function, increase, immunity, etc.    That's why some amount of stress can feel positive and increase productivity.

While cortisol is an important and helpful part of the body’s response to stress, it’s important for the body  to return to its normal state of relaxation following a stressful event. Unfortunately, in our current high-stress culture, the body’s stress response is activated so often that the body doesn’t always have a chance to return to normal, resulting in a state of chronic stress and prolonged exposure to cortisol.

 

This exposure negatively impacts our health. It  increases blood pressure and blood sugar levels, suppresses the immune system, increases abdominal fat, reduces bone density, etc.  It also has an impact on the level of happiness. In fact, a study of nearly 3,000 healthy British adults, lead by Dr. Andrew Steptoe of University College London, found that those who reported being happier had lower levels of cortisol. 

 

Since cortisol plays such an important role in health and happiness, it is essential to try and keep it under control. Because it is produced during times of stress, there are nutritional and lifestyle changes that can be made in order to reduce stress and, in turn, decrease cortisol levels.  Here are a few examples:

- Eat at regular intervals throughout the day. Avoid skipping meals, as this will create a cortisol release.

- Eat a balanced, nutritious diet that contains plenty of fruits and vegetables,  low-glycemic level foods such as eggs,  whole grain products, preferably gluten-free (quinoa, millet, buckwheat, etc.) and foods containing omega 3's such as flaxseed, walnuts, kidney and navy beans, olive oil and fish. 

- Exercise.

- Meditate.

- Take a candle lit bath.  Add 1/2 cup of Epsom salts and 1/2 cup of baking soda to your bathwater. The salts and baking soda help draw toxins out of the body, and the bath helps you relax and de-stress.

- Get a good night's sleep. Be in bed by 10:00 p.m. Shut off the T.V. and the lights. Cortisol levels typically lower naturally at night, but if you don't relax and get to bed on time, they can stay elevated continuously.

- Read.

- Listen to music.

- Take vitamin and mineral supplements, especially Vitamin C, which naturally lowers cortisol levels. Folic acid controls the actions and functions of the adrenal glands, which produce cortisol.

- Laugh and cry - research has shown that both reduce cortisol levels.
- Get a massage.

By following these 'not-so-easy-to-follow' guidelines, you could decrease your cortisol levels and feel healthier and happier.  It's only a matter of making the alleviation of stress a priority.

DAY 322 - DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!

Day 322

One of my friends wants to send her daughter to a public high school called the International School.  To get in, you need to pass an entry exam.  Out of 1000 applications, they only select 300 students.  Last week, my friend received the news that her daughter was not accepted.  She was extremely disappointed.  High school is a very critical time in a child's education and she really wanted her daughter to attend that well reputed school.  Because her daughter is strong academically, she was convinced she would get in, so she doesn't really have a plan B.

As I was talking to my brother about it, he simply said: "She shouldn't take no for an answer.  She should go see the principal of the school and tell him that she won't leave until he says yes.  After a while, he said, she'll say yes just to get rid of her." 

It made me think of how difficult it is to adopt that attitude, but how truly efficient it can be.  I clearly remember two events in my life that show the efficiency of such an attitude.  First, when I applied for my Master's degree.  I initially received a refusal letter because of the bad marks I had gotten in my first year university.  I went to see the Director of the Literary Studies department and convinced him to accept me.  I don't really know how I did it, but I remember that when I walked into his office, I had the intention of coming out with an acceptance, which I did.

The second time happened recently.  At the beginning of each school year, I organize outings at various museums for my students.  When I made the schedule, the coordinator of one of the museums was on vacation.  I assumed that the date I had chosen was available.  When she returned from her holiday, she told me that the date selected wouldn't work out.  It was already booked.  Ordinarily, I would have just tried to move the date.  However, because we had confirmed a visit in another museum on the morning of that same day, which couldn't be moved, I told her it had to be on that day.  I didn't have a choice.  I decided I wasn't going to take no for an answer.  I wasn't aggressive, pushy, impolite or rude.  I was kind, patient, but firm.   In the end, she managed to accomodate me.

Often, we accept things the way they are, even if they displease us, because we lack the courage or the optimism to try to change them.  When I was refused for my Master's and when the museum coordinator said no, I could have walked away and accepted the decisions.  But I chose otherwise.  I chose to fight.  And in both cases, I won the battle.

It's not always the case.  You can't win them all.  Some you'll win and some you'll lose.  However, if you capitulate before even trying to fight, than you're choosing defeat!  Winners are not the ones who never lose, they're the ones who never give up!

DAY 321 - THE POWER OF WORDS

Day 321

When I speak, I don't necessarily always realize the impact my words can have on someone.  Yet,  I recall sentences that were said to me that have marked and even transformed my life.  Words are a powerful weapon which needs to be handled with care.

Words can be used to give love and positive energy to others.  Complimenting, encouraging, being positive can have a tremendous effect on people around you.  And that positive energy you give out always comes back to you.  Whatever you throw into the universe WILL come back.  It's the boomerang effect.  Choosing positive words will therefore definitely impact your life in a positive way.

Words are at the basis of communication.  People often get into conflicts not because of the message they are trying to convey, but because of the words they use.

The problem is that often emotion gets in the way.  If a woman is irritated with her husband because he has left his dirty smelly socks in the middle of the living room, the negative emotion might take over and make the choice of words more challenging.  But taking the time to choose the right words can make the difference between conflict and harmony.

Words can also impact self-confidence and self-esteem.  Using sentences such as "I can't do it" or "I don't know how" or "I'm not that good" all convey a message of failure that could end up affecting someone's ability to pursue a goal.

There are many things in our lives we cannot control.  But we have complete control over the words we use to express ourselves.  So to become happier, why not choose to communicate thoughts, emotions and even frustration with positive words?  Who knows, it might positively impact your wellbeing more than you think!

DAY 320 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY: JOHN FON, APU

Day 320

Last Monday, my best friend Christina's father, John, had a heart attack.  He went to the hospital and was told he needed to have a quadruple bypass.  At the age of 77 years old, most people would become fearful, anxious, nervous about the outcome of such a procedure.  After all, it is an open-heart operation.  Not John.  All week, he was actually talking about the fact that he looked forward to getting the surgery done, getting it over with and going on with his life.

I've know John, or as I call him 'Apu', (father in Hungarian), for more than 30 years.  He's like a second father to me.  Growing up,  I remember being fascinated with how incredibly optimistic and positive he was.  He was always extremely encouraging towards his children, always telling them they were the best at everything they did.  This positive outlook on life has served him well in difficult times.

John was born in Hungary in a wealthy Jewish family in 1934.   During Second World War,  luckily, his family was spared.  At the age of 10, John saw his parents being lined up by German soldiers in the courtyard of his apartment building.  They were later on released.  But that event was to mark his life forever.

At the age of 13, John's grandmother, who was very superstitious, told him that above his head she saw a star, and that John would be lucky all his life.  Since that day, he always believed that he was born lucky... and so he has been.

After the war, John played soccer in the Hungarian Junior National team.  He then went on to study Commerce at the University of Budapest.  In 1956, when John was 22 years old, Hungary was invaded by Russia.  To escape the revolution, John, along with his brother, his best friend and his girlfriend, packed his bags and left Hungary in the middle of the night.  They walked through woods filled with Russian soldiers.   In the morning, they arrived unharmed in Austria.  John would later on cross the Atlantic by boat and immigrate to Montreal, Canada.  He later on managed to have his parents come and join him and his brother.

Starting from nothing, John had to work as a taxi driver for several years before finally venturing out in various types of businesses.

In Montreal, he met a lovely Hungarian Jewish girl by the name of Agnes.  He later on married her and had two children, Christina and Ted.

John's road to success was not without hurdles.  He went through ups and downs, like most people.   But he never gave up, always working hard to achieve his goals.  He is a truly self-made successful man whose strength, positivity and determination have been a real source of inspiration to me. 

Last Monday, John successfully underwent a quadruple bypass.  He is still at the hospital, but I'm pretty convinced, that sooner than we think, he'll be back on his feet, doing business as usual.

DAY 319 - HAPPINESS, THE ULTIMATE GOAL

DAY 319

When I opened up my computer this morning, my Dutch friend Erik had posted this image on his Facebook page.

I always tell my children the same thing John Lennon's mother used to tell him.  For me, the most important thing is that my kids grow up to become happy individuals.  It doesn't matter how much money they make, what kind of job they have (as long as they get a good education), how big their house is, as long as they find joy and happiness in whatever career they choose. Because, in the end, isn't  happiness the goal we all ultimately pursue?

Think about all the things you want in life, a good job, a good marriage, a beautiful home, nice vacations, good friends, all in the hope that these things will bring you happiness.

Many people believe that the strongest human characteristic is the survival instinct... Why would there be suicide then?  Why would people suffering from fatal diseases want to die?  To end suffering, be happy and in peace once again.

The problem is that in order to reach that ultimate goal, we often look for the quick fix, the immediate gratification.  By doing so, we may create moments of joy but certainly not long-lasting happiness.

I believe meditation, spirituality, exercise, healthy eating, purpose of life, connecting with friends and family are all ways to achieve that long-lasting bliss.  All the other stuff, all the material objects you can acquire and the great fun you can temporarily have,  is not the core.   It is, nevertheless, icing you can add to flavour your life.

DAY 318 - CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE

Day 318


Today, I began a new session with a new group of students.  It's always a little scary for me.  It's scary because change is always potentially scary.  It requires you to dive into the unknown.  Fortunately though, I've been confronted with this situation for the last 15 years, so the unknown has proven to be a little predictable.  I don't feel that way about everything in my life.

For instance, my husband and I have been living in the same place for 12 years, and for 12 years we've been contemplating the idea of moving. We've always complained about the same issues: we don't have a yard, we don't have a basement, our street looks like a war zone after every snow storm, we only have two bedrooms, etc. But we haven't moved because we love being able to walk everywhere, do our errands by foot.  We live four blocks away from my children's school (a five-minute walk), the drugstore is around the corner, the supermarket three blocks away and my favorite coffee shop a block away. How could we give all of that up?

Human beings find security in consistency and habit. Our present home gives us just that. The process of changing homes would potentially shake that stability and could become a great source of stress. That's why most people like everything to remain the same.  That way calm and peace prevails in their lives, and they don't have to think too hard.  Change always stirs things up and the outcome is never really predictable.

In truth, it all comes down to fear, and especially fear of the unknown. Someone could be in a miserable marriage and stay because, although they feel miserable, they're scared of the aftermath.  The same goes for changing jobs, houses and for some people, it even applies to vacation destinations.

Venturing out, getting out of your comfort zone,  embracing change requires courage, action-oriented decision-making and determination.  Some people thrive on those emotions... they're adventurous by nature, so for them change is not really an issue.  I have friends like that, John and Christina, for instance.

The fact of the matter is, change is INEVITABLE.  At this very instant, your cells are transforming.  Life is a cycle of constant transformations.  Nature changes from season to season.  Every second people are born and people die.

So, since change will occur no matter what, why not welcome and embrace change as being an incredible opportunity to grow, learn and experience life in a different way, whether the change is imposed or chosen.

"The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble."
 Henry Miller

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.
Author Unknown

Change always comes bearing gifts.
Price Pritchett

DAY 317 - THE SOUND OF SILENCE...

Day 317

Camino de Santiago de Compostela

Today, I was talking to my friend John about his project, next year, to do the Camino de Santiago de Compostela (the Way of St. James), which is one of the oldest pilgrimages in the world. Starting from the North-West of France until the tomb of St. James (Santiago in Spanish), he will walk a distance of 780 kilometres.  I asked him what he looked forward to the most on that pilgrimage.  He simply answered "being in silence".

So, I thought of how I enjoy silence too.  In fact, my favourite time of the day is the morning, when the whole house is still asleep, and I'm alone in the kitchen, enjoying my morning coffee.  I thought of the fact that at lunch time, I isolate myself in my office, instead of going to the teacher's lounge, just to be in silence.  I thought of how I enjoy the silence of nature, the silence of a walk on a mild and snowy day.

As a mother, a wife, a daughter, a teacher and a colleague, I'm required to discuss, argue, explain and question on a daily basis.  Even when I write I speak out loud.  It's a funny habit I've always had.  For instance, as I'm writing this post, I'm also saying it.  So silence is a rare commodity for me. I look for moments of silence, because they are so scarce.  And because I'm constantly in speaking mode, I get tired of hearing myself!

Interestingly enough, I used to hate being alone in silence.  Now, I'm contemplating the idea of going on a silent retreat for a few days... it's a little scary, but tempting! There are known psychological and physiological benefits to going on retreats.  For instance, a study conducted by James Kennedy, Anne Abbott and Beth Rosenberg for cardiac patients at the University of Wisconsin showed that a  short retreat (3 days) resulted in lifestyle changes, increased feelings of well-being, better anger management and a greater sense of spirituality. These effects lasted for at least 4 to 6 months after the retreat.

Retreats force you to delve deep into yourself and get to know who you are.  It sounds scary for sure, but everyone I know who has experienced it seems to have come out of it transformed and happier...

And how about you?  Would you like to go on a retreat?

DAY 316 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY: FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE

Day 316

Florence Nightingale was born in Florence, Italy, on May 12, 1820. Her father, William E. Nightingale, was a wealthy landowner who had inherited an estate in Derbyshire, England.

Florence's early education was placed in the hands of governesses.  Later,  her Cambridge educated father took over the responsibility himself.  Florence was tutored by her father in languages, mathematics, and history.

On February 7, 1837, Florence Nightingale heard, by her account, the voice of God telling her that she had a mission in life. It took her several years of searching to identify that mission, which was to become a nurse.

By 1844, defying parental objections, Florence Nightingale chose a different path than the social life and marriage expected of her.  She went to Kaiserwerth hospital in Germany to study nursing. After her graduation, she returned to London and became superintendent of the London charity-supported Institution for Sick Gentlewomen in Distressed Circumstances. This opportunity allowed her to become independent from her family and also to try out new ideas in organizing and managing an institution, conducted in a scientific, nonreligious setting.

During the Crimean War, she was put in charge of nursing. Although being a female in a very male dominated world, she managed to reform the hospital system. Before her involvement, the sanitary conditions of the military hospital were horrible, with soldiers lying on bare floors infested with vermin. This meant that injured soldiers were 7 times more likely to die from disease in hospital, than on the battlefield. With her extensive knowledge in mathematics, Nightingale collected data and organised a record keeping system, this information was then used as a tool to improve city and military hospitals.

The time spent near the front during the Crimean War took a physical toll, and Nightingale's health declined in the late 1850s. By 1861 she rarely left her room, though she continued to write and issue statements and reports.

Despite her withdrawal from public life, her ideas about sanitation in British India gained currency. And her book Notes on Nursing greatly influenced the emerging nursing profession.

Florence Nightingale was a pioneer in making the nursing profession what it is today.  She followed her mission, despite resistance from her family.  She had the strength and determination to lead the life she had chosen to live.  Not many women had the courage to do that in the 19th Century.  And, even today,  many people lack the courage to make choices that go against what their community expects of them.

DAY 315 - THE HAPPIEST WOMAN IN AMERICA

Day 315

When I opened up my computer this morning, I stumbled upon an article that spoke about the happiest woman in America. According to research done by Healthways, a well-being management group, statistically, the happiest woman in America is a suburban Californian, happily married with kids who no longer live with her; she's white and has a 10-minute commute to a full-time, professional job. She is part of a family income of over 120 thousand dollars a year.  She's a Baby Boomer who exercises at least 30-45 minutes six times a week, has healthy eating habits, has at least four devoted friends and is religious.

Concretely, USA Today along with Healthways identified Mary Claire Orenic, a 50-year-old resident of Manhattan Beach, California, as the happiest woman in America.

Mary Claire Orenic

Mary Claire Orenic is a senior manager at Siemens Healthcare, a global company that allows her to work from home at least two days a week. She has a 6-digit salary. Her only son, Christopher, is headed to college and her husband is a successful optometrist. She exercises regularly and has healthy eating habits.  She considers her husband her best friend.  She says she can count on 10 friends who would respond if she needed help.

I find it interesting that some group can identify one single person as being the happiest woman in America.  You can have it all, but still be miserable.  You can tell people you're happy, but suffer from anxiety.  Not everyone is an open book... in fact, I don't know many people who are.  That's why I'm so skeptical when it comes to surveys on happiness.  Most people would never admit they're unhappy.  Not for lack of honesty, but sometimes you need to lie to yourself for your own sake!

I believe happiness is somewhat based on your circumstances, but mostly it depends on your perception of your life.  If you tend to be optimistic and positive, you'll have an easier time being happy that if you see problems everywhere.

When they named Matthieu Ricard the happiest man on earth, they looked at his brain...  neuroscience was able to determine that 'the happy part of the brain' was more developed in Ricard than in most people.

I'm sure Marie-Claire Orenic is a fairly happy person.  But, realistically speaking,  she's probably as happy as many other women.  In fact, the use of the superlative goes to show, once more the competitive nature of North-American thinking.  You should try to be the best at everything, including happiness!

DAY 314- SELF-DISCIPLINE...SOME PEOPLE HAVE IT, SOME PEOPLE NEED IT

Day 314

Last weekend, I was having a discussion with my sister-in-law, Lynda, about happiness.  I asked her what made HER happy.  She simply answered: being disciplined.  Instinctively, one would think that discipline and happiness don't go hand in hand.  Discipline relates to duty and obligation while happiness seems to evoke freedom and pleasure.  However, when I started really thinking about it, I had to agree with her, self-discipline is indeed intrinsically linked to happiness.

I used to believe that ultimate happiness would be to have no responsibilities,  to be free to do whatever I wanted.  In some way, I still enjoy not having obligations once in a while, but I believe that one of the things that gives me the most satisfaction in life is the feeling of accomplishment, which can only be achieved through self-discipline.

The problem is that self-discipline often involves an initial suffering.  Starting on a task is always somehow painful.  But often, the initial effort is brief .  Once I start being in motion, I get absorbed by what I'm doing so I stop suffering. The effort of going to the gym is far greater than the actual working out once I'm there.  And after I'm done, I get a real feeling of accomplishment.

What I have learned in the past year is that when I'm not self-disiplined, I actually suffer more.  One of the things that contribute to unhappiness is having negative emotions and thoughts.  When I'm being lazy about exercising, eating well or even performing mundane tasks, etc, and I choose to do something else instead, I get stuck with feelings of guilt, regret and failure.  I can't really enjoy the freedom I longed for, because I know I'm not doing what I should be doing.

Inversely, when I'm able to follow a routine and have self-discipline, I have positive emotions.  I feel good about myself.  I get a sense of accomplishment.  It boosts my energy and happiness level.

So the real question is, do I choose to suffer a little bit initially in order to feel good and happy about myself in the long run or do I avoid the initial pain by opting for immediate pleasure and end up with negative emotions and thought?  Well, I guess I already know the answer.

"No pain, no palm (award); no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown."

William Penn

DAY 313 - RUSH, RUSH, RUSH

DAY 313

Lat Friday, I had the afternoon off so I went to the hairdresser. Then, on Sunday, I went to get a manicure.  Twice in a weekend, I took time to pamper myself, which I love doing.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I never seem to fully enjoy it.  I always feel pressed with time.

On Friday, I had to pick my kids up from school at 3:30pm.  My hairdresser kept on talking, telling me about her love life (usually the customer opens up to the hairdresser, in my case, it seems to be the other way around).  As a result, she was taking her sweet time. So, I began to get a little stressed, not focusing on what she was telling me anymore.

On Sunday, when I went for my manicure, my whole family was waiting for me to go have lunch at my in-laws.  The esthetician was running late, so I had to wait.  When she was doing my nails, I couldn't enjoy it, I just wanted her to finish fast.

In the morning, I rush to go to work.  I rush to come back.  I rush to try to get a workout into my day.  I rush to get my kids from school.  I rush to get dinner ready.  I feel like I'm constantly rushing from duty to duty, barely having the time to breathe and definitely not taking the time to savour the day.      

I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.  Many people are stuck in the whirlwind of life.  The thing is, I know it is more emotional than anything else.  The feeling of urgency is self-inflicted.  And, of course, it's also clearly cultural., some sort of North American trait.

I was listening to a radio show the other day.  Three immigrant women living in Montreal (one from Morocco, one from Uganda and the other one from Italy) were being interviewed.  They were asked what cultural characteristic they would import from their respective country.  All three replied the pace of life.  They all felt that in their country, people took the time to enjoy life much more than here in Montreal... that is something I could definitely learn from!

I realize that I could have control over that feeling.  In reality, there aren't many emergency situations in my life.  It is only a matter of controlling my emotions (not that easy, but possible).

Breathing helps, meditation helps, rationalizing it and writing about it helps, being more organized helps.

Being stressed out doesn't help me be more efficient, it actually does just the opposite.  When I'm rushing, I tend to become more forgetful, less focused and more erratic.  I'm often left with the impression I forgot something, which I generally did.

I don't have a miracle solution, but I do think that by becoming aware of it and working at it every day, it is possible to achieve to a calmer state of mind.

DAY 312 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY:DEEPAK CHOPRA

Day 312

Deepak Chopra was born on October 22, 1946 in New Delhi, India. His father, Krishan, was a cardiologist.  As a young man, Chopra wanted to become an actor or journalist, but he reports that he was inspired by a character in a book called Arrowsmith by Sinclair Lewis and, following his father's footsteps, he finally decided to become a physician.   A few years after graduating in India, he immigrated to the United States and began his clinical internship and residency training at Muhlenberg Hospital in Plainfield, New Jersey.  In 1973 Chopra gained his licence to practice medicine in the state of Massachusetts.

Although seemingly successful on the outside, Deepak Chopra became increasingly frustrated by his role as a traditional physician.  He felt he had become a legal 'drug pusher', always prescribing medication to his patients. All this doubt and frustration led him to become increasingly interested in Transcendental Meditation (TM) technique, which he and his wife went on to learn in 1981.  In 1985, Deepak Chopra met Maharishi Mahesh Yogi who invited him to study Ayurveda (an ancient Indian holistic approach to medicine).

In January 1994, Chopra left the Transcendental Meditation movement after a disagreement with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and, a few years later, went on to found the Chopra Center for Well Being in La Jolla, California.

To go along with his clinical practice, Chopra soon began to write books. Though his first several books met with a mixed critical and popular reception, his 1993 book, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, was an instant success.  Since then, Chopra has published over forty-two books and one hundred audio, video, and CD-ROM titles, which have been translated into thirty-five languages and have sold over twenty million copies worldwide. He is a highly sought-after workshop presenter and inspirational speaker, and has achieved nearly guru status with many of his admirers.

Deepak Chopra is one of the best known and widely respected leaders in the field of mind/body medicine in the world today. He has a way of integrating the ancient Indian science of Ayurveda with traditional Western medicine and recent discoveries in the field of quantum physics.  His has forged a holistic approach to healing that is inspiring and thorough.

If you have never read any of his books, I highly recommend you do.  Well-written, intelligent and accessible, they suggest an approach to well-being that I personally find fascinating.

DAY 311 - HALLOWEEN AND CONNECTEDNESS

Day 311

Last night was halloween night.  As always,  there was a lot of preparation involved.  First, my daughters had to decide what they wanted to dress up as.  This year, my youngest chose to be a cheerleader, while my oldest dressed up as a cowgirl.  Then, we had to decorate our front yard.  We also needed to buy the appropriate accessories (halloween bag, make up, etc,) to complete the costume.   The ritual of the halloween preparation is even more exciting for my children than the actual event.

This year, as we did last year, we passed halloween at my brother's house.  He lives in a gated community so, every year, his wife Nathalie and him organize for all the parents and children of his neighbourhood to meet up in front of his house to pass halloween.  We must have been around fifty people walking together last night.

As I was walking and talking with my sister-in-law Lynda, she told me how great she though it was to see so many kids dressed up, running together from door to door.  She spoke about the fact that my brother and his wife had managed, through this annual tradition, to really create a sense of community that has disappeared in most neighbourhoods.

We live in such an individualistic society that we tend to forget that creating a sense of community can positively impact everyone's life.  When I was young, my neighbours regularly came over for coffee or tea.  I greet and chit chat with my neighbours, but no one comes over for afternoon tea.   It's not that I wouldn't want, but it seems like it's no longer the way we do things.  Maybe we feel we're too busy.

Last night reminded me, once more, of how important it is to belong to a community, whether it is through friendships, family, work or an organization (religious or not).  In fact, many specialists believe that the erosion of communal connectedness in our cities, towns and neighbourhoods is the cause of the downfall of human happiness. People are feeling more and more isolated.  Connecting with people and belonging to a community can break that isolation and give a real meaning to life.

I have many friends and I'm very close to my family,  but last night made me realize that maybe I should take the time to connect with the people I love more often... no matter how busy I think I am.

“The lack of social contact, the lack of sense of community, may be the most pressing social problem of the new millennium.”

Robin Dunbar, famed British anthropologist