Day 220
This morning, as we often do, my husband and I woke up too late. And, as you can imagine, not wanting our kids to arrive late to school, we stressed them out: "Come on, hurry up, get dressed, come and have breakfast, go and brush your teeth!" Obviously, when you're running late, you become more edgy, more impatient, more stressed and you inevitably take it out on everybody who happens to be in your way!!!
Tardiness seems to be a habit we have a really hard time getting rid of! And somehow, we now have the reputation of always being late... Whenever we have a family function, my brothers and parents expect us to arrive late. Sometimes, they'll lie to us about the arrival time, just to make sure that we get there at an appropriate time! We are pathetic!
I don't really ever arrive at work late, but I can't say I'm ahead of time either!!! I'm always just on time! And my colleague John just smirks at me every morning when he sees me running up the stairs and entering my classroom at 8:15am on the dot.
I realize that always being at the last minute creates a very stressful environment and I know there are probably measures I could take in order to avoid rushing!
The problem is I tend to underestimate the time that it will take me to get ready. I also often get sidetracked... I need focus! Finally, I think the habit of being late goes hand in hand with my tendency to procrastinate! For instance, I could prepare my lunch the night before instead of rushing to do it in the morning; I could prepare my clothes; I could also put the alarm clock fifteen minutes earlier! Punctuality is not this unreachable goal entirely out of my control! It is quite accessible.
When I was a student, I would always write my papers at the last minute. Was it procrastination or do I simply need to feel under pressure in order to become efficient? I guess when you only have to deal with yourself, being last minute is fine. But when other people are involved and you end up creating a uncomfortable atmosphere in your household because you feel rushed, then it is worthwhile to really work on changing that habit! Because, at that point, it could become detrimental to your wellbeing as well as to those around you!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
DAY 219 - GOING ON A SHOPPING SPREE!
Day 219
Contrarily to many of my girlfriends, I am not a shopping lover. Shopping malls full of neon lights actually get me dizzy. I also find the process of shopping rather confusing. In our consumer's society, the selection of clothing is so wide, that finding something I like and that suits me well can take several hours... and I always get very tired and irritated in the process.
It's not that I don't enjoy acquiring new clothes. On the contrary, I could become ecstatic once I find the perfect piece of clothing. But in the process of finding it, I sometimes go through a range of negative emotions.
Last Thursday, I went shopping with my friend Donna. Spring seems to be a great season to renew your wardrobe. However, it's got its disadvantages! Often, you are carrying extra 'winter' love handles on your hips, and summer clothes, which tend to be more revealing, might not do a good job of hiding them, thus, creating negative emotions!!!!
As we were trying on millions of outfits (which is something I always do and that drives my husband crazy when I go shopping with him), I wondered why finding and buying clothes that fit well can generate such joy. I have already written that studies have shown that it is better to spend your money on experiences rather than on material goods, if you are looking to increase your level of happiness.
However, I must confess, when I tried on that orange top and grey skirt, it made me feel happy! I have been looking to lighten the colours of my wardrobe and that flashy orange just struck me as being exactly what I had been looking for. Besides that outfit, I bought another outfit and two pairs of shoes... Let's say my wallet felt much lighter after that little shopping spree!
I know that the effect of those purchases are only going to be temporary. New clothes cannot have a lasting effect on happiness. After wearing my new outfits a couple of times, they will just become part of all the stuff I own... But, until then, I'll enjoy the feeling I'll get every time I put them on!!!!
I hate to say it, but no matter how superficial and materialistic it sounds, I believe that wearing new clothes can have an impact on your self-confidence level! There I said it! And when you feel more confident... you radiate more confidence and, as a result, you may even momentarily feel a little bit happier!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
Contrarily to many of my girlfriends, I am not a shopping lover. Shopping malls full of neon lights actually get me dizzy. I also find the process of shopping rather confusing. In our consumer's society, the selection of clothing is so wide, that finding something I like and that suits me well can take several hours... and I always get very tired and irritated in the process.
It's not that I don't enjoy acquiring new clothes. On the contrary, I could become ecstatic once I find the perfect piece of clothing. But in the process of finding it, I sometimes go through a range of negative emotions.
Last Thursday, I went shopping with my friend Donna. Spring seems to be a great season to renew your wardrobe. However, it's got its disadvantages! Often, you are carrying extra 'winter' love handles on your hips, and summer clothes, which tend to be more revealing, might not do a good job of hiding them, thus, creating negative emotions!!!!
As we were trying on millions of outfits (which is something I always do and that drives my husband crazy when I go shopping with him), I wondered why finding and buying clothes that fit well can generate such joy. I have already written that studies have shown that it is better to spend your money on experiences rather than on material goods, if you are looking to increase your level of happiness.
However, I must confess, when I tried on that orange top and grey skirt, it made me feel happy! I have been looking to lighten the colours of my wardrobe and that flashy orange just struck me as being exactly what I had been looking for. Besides that outfit, I bought another outfit and two pairs of shoes... Let's say my wallet felt much lighter after that little shopping spree!
I know that the effect of those purchases are only going to be temporary. New clothes cannot have a lasting effect on happiness. After wearing my new outfits a couple of times, they will just become part of all the stuff I own... But, until then, I'll enjoy the feeling I'll get every time I put them on!!!!
I hate to say it, but no matter how superficial and materialistic it sounds, I believe that wearing new clothes can have an impact on your self-confidence level! There I said it! And when you feel more confident... you radiate more confidence and, as a result, you may even momentarily feel a little bit happier!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
DAY 218 - THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH: MATTHIEU RICARD
Day 218
Matthieu Ricard was born in France in 1946. The son of famous French Philosopher Jean-François Revel and painter Yahne Le Toumelin, he grew up amongst the French elite. He studied biology and had a promising career when, in 1972, after completing his doctoral thesis in molecular genetics, Ricard decided to forsake his scientific career to the practice of Tibetan Buddhism. He moved to the Tibetan Himalayas and has been living there since then. Since 1989, he has been the French interpreter for HH the Dalai Lama.
He was nicknamed "the happiest man on earth", after he participated in a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin that aimed at evaluating the level of happiness of individuals, amongst which were Buddhist monks. The test that used 256 sensors attached to the skull, and three hours of continuous MRI scanning, showed that Ricard's happiness level was far above all other participants. That same study also proved the neuroplasticity of the brain, demonstrating that meditation can play a key role in anybody's quest for happiness, by restructuring the brain's neurons.
Ricard has written several books. Amongst others, Happiness: A guide to developing life's most important skill, in which he gives advice on how to live a happy life. One of the most important aspect of his teachings is that, as you can train your body, he believes you can also train your mind. For that reason, happiness is a skill that everyone can develop.
For him, at the source of unhappiness, there are feelings of jealousy, anger, obsessive desire and arrogance. Since all of these emotions are fleeting and transient, it is possible to prevent them from invading your mind and tormenting you.
How do you do that? First, by not responding to the emotion. If you feed the emotion, it will most likely grow. However, you cannot deny it either. You need to look at the emotion and let it dissolve. By repeatedly practicing that technique, he believes that negative emotions can flow through you "as a bird crosses the sky and disappears" and therefore not affect your wellbeing.
According to Ricard, behind every thought lies what he calls pure consciousness. Through love, kindness, benevolence, selfless generosity and compassion, and obviously through the practice of meditation, it is possible to access that pure consciousness and flourish.
When speaking of happiness, Ricard refers to the Sanskrit word for this state of being: sukha.
“Sukha is the state of lasting well-being that manifests itself when we have freed ourselves of mental blindness and afflictive emotions. It is also the wisdom that allows us to see the world as it is, without veils or distortions. It is, finally, the joy of moving toward inner freedom and the loving-kindness that radiates toward others.”
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Matthieu Ricard was born in France in 1946. The son of famous French Philosopher Jean-François Revel and painter Yahne Le Toumelin, he grew up amongst the French elite. He studied biology and had a promising career when, in 1972, after completing his doctoral thesis in molecular genetics, Ricard decided to forsake his scientific career to the practice of Tibetan Buddhism. He moved to the Tibetan Himalayas and has been living there since then. Since 1989, he has been the French interpreter for HH the Dalai Lama.He was nicknamed "the happiest man on earth", after he participated in a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin that aimed at evaluating the level of happiness of individuals, amongst which were Buddhist monks. The test that used 256 sensors attached to the skull, and three hours of continuous MRI scanning, showed that Ricard's happiness level was far above all other participants. That same study also proved the neuroplasticity of the brain, demonstrating that meditation can play a key role in anybody's quest for happiness, by restructuring the brain's neurons.
Ricard has written several books. Amongst others, Happiness: A guide to developing life's most important skill, in which he gives advice on how to live a happy life. One of the most important aspect of his teachings is that, as you can train your body, he believes you can also train your mind. For that reason, happiness is a skill that everyone can develop.
For him, at the source of unhappiness, there are feelings of jealousy, anger, obsessive desire and arrogance. Since all of these emotions are fleeting and transient, it is possible to prevent them from invading your mind and tormenting you.
How do you do that? First, by not responding to the emotion. If you feed the emotion, it will most likely grow. However, you cannot deny it either. You need to look at the emotion and let it dissolve. By repeatedly practicing that technique, he believes that negative emotions can flow through you "as a bird crosses the sky and disappears" and therefore not affect your wellbeing.
According to Ricard, behind every thought lies what he calls pure consciousness. Through love, kindness, benevolence, selfless generosity and compassion, and obviously through the practice of meditation, it is possible to access that pure consciousness and flourish.
When speaking of happiness, Ricard refers to the Sanskrit word for this state of being: sukha.
“Sukha is the state of lasting well-being that manifests itself when we have freed ourselves of mental blindness and afflictive emotions. It is also the wisdom that allows us to see the world as it is, without veils or distortions. It is, finally, the joy of moving toward inner freedom and the loving-kindness that radiates toward others.”
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Friday, May 13, 2011
DAY 217 - TENNIS LESSONS WITH A GREEK GOD
Day 217
Yesterday, my friend Donna convinced me to register to a tennis class with her. A year ago, I would have probably said no... But, in my quest for happiness, I've decided to take risks, try new things and be open to new experiences. So, I said yes!
I've played a little tennis in the past. I even took a couple of lessons once. My husband has always loved the sport and I think he secretly hoped I would one day be good enough to give him a challenge. He used to make fun of the way I ran on a tennis court... Let's say he though it was little bit too clumsy- looking!
For some people, all sports come naturally. It's as though their body has the ability to quickly understand and imitate the necessary moves for a particular sport and so they can learn and progress very fast in any given sport. They have what is called kinsesthetic intelligence.
I've been blessed with other types of intelligence... not that one. But still, I like hitting a ball with a racket (when I actually get to hit it) so I figured that the class would allow me to have fun with Donna two hours a week.
When we arrived on the field, right away I noticed a man who seemed to be the instructor. He was wearing white pants, had a tan, and had his hair slicked back with a little poneytail. Right away, I knew I was dealing with the tennis instructor stereotype, a type of narcissistic individual who takes himself very seriously. When I asked him his name, he answered quite sternly: "I won't tell you my name in case you're not satisfied and you want to go and complain". I thought he was joking, but then he turned around and left!
At a certain point he explained how we should stand in order to protect "our private parts": " If you don't want your DANGER ZONE to be exposed", he said showing us with his hands the 'the zone", you need to turn your feet like this.
I couldn't stop laughing. This guy was not trying to be funny. He just was. Everytime he explained some move with a deep serious look, I wanted to take my notepad out and write down what he was saying in order not to forget so I could get a good laugh later on as well.
I don't know how much I will learn with this instructor since he seems more interested in hearing himself talk than actually teaching us how to play tennis, but I'm sure I will enjoy myself.
Oh, and I finally found out his name through another student. His name is Georges, and by the sound of his last name, he is Greek, definitely a descendant of some Ancient Divinity!!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Yesterday, my friend Donna convinced me to register to a tennis class with her. A year ago, I would have probably said no... But, in my quest for happiness, I've decided to take risks, try new things and be open to new experiences. So, I said yes!
I've played a little tennis in the past. I even took a couple of lessons once. My husband has always loved the sport and I think he secretly hoped I would one day be good enough to give him a challenge. He used to make fun of the way I ran on a tennis court... Let's say he though it was little bit too clumsy- looking!
For some people, all sports come naturally. It's as though their body has the ability to quickly understand and imitate the necessary moves for a particular sport and so they can learn and progress very fast in any given sport. They have what is called kinsesthetic intelligence.
I've been blessed with other types of intelligence... not that one. But still, I like hitting a ball with a racket (when I actually get to hit it) so I figured that the class would allow me to have fun with Donna two hours a week.
When we arrived on the field, right away I noticed a man who seemed to be the instructor. He was wearing white pants, had a tan, and had his hair slicked back with a little poneytail. Right away, I knew I was dealing with the tennis instructor stereotype, a type of narcissistic individual who takes himself very seriously. When I asked him his name, he answered quite sternly: "I won't tell you my name in case you're not satisfied and you want to go and complain". I thought he was joking, but then he turned around and left!
At a certain point he explained how we should stand in order to protect "our private parts": " If you don't want your DANGER ZONE to be exposed", he said showing us with his hands the 'the zone", you need to turn your feet like this.
I couldn't stop laughing. This guy was not trying to be funny. He just was. Everytime he explained some move with a deep serious look, I wanted to take my notepad out and write down what he was saying in order not to forget so I could get a good laugh later on as well.
I don't know how much I will learn with this instructor since he seems more interested in hearing himself talk than actually teaching us how to play tennis, but I'm sure I will enjoy myself.
Oh, and I finally found out his name through another student. His name is Georges, and by the sound of his last name, he is Greek, definitely a descendant of some Ancient Divinity!!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
DAY 216 - LIVING IN A MATERIALISTIC WORLD
Day 216
What are the symbols of success in our society? No matter how hard we try to deny it and how spiritual we aim at being, in our subconscious minds, many of us associate success to financial wealth. Throughout our lives, we have been bombarded by images of successful people happily living in mansions and driving in expensive convertible cars.
So, although success can be defined by many standards other than money and luxury objects, the media tells us otherwise, so it is rather hard to completely get rid of those beliefs. We live in a materialistic world and there aren't many ways of escaping it.
When I was a teenager, I rebelled against materialism, as did many of my friends. The funny thing is, I attended a private school, and some of my rebellious friends were actually sons and daughters of diplomats. Is it easier to renounce to materialism when you are part of the wealthier portion of society and you can already afford everything you want?
In 2007, a study conducted with three groups of children aged 8-9, 11-12 and 15-16, by Lan Nguyen Chaplin (University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign) and Deborah Roedder John (University of Minnesota) showed a causal effect of low self-esteem and materialism, The more materialistic the children were, the lower their self- esteem and vice versa.
The authors explain that in fact "by the time children reach early adolescence, and experience a decline in self-esteem, the stage is set for the use of material possessions as a coping strategy for feelings of low self-worth". The study concluded that an increase in materialism was actually linked to a decrease in happiness.
Although that study was conducted with children, I believe that, probably to a lesser degree, it could apply to adults as well. In people's minds, material possessions are so closely linked to success that self-worth could very well be associated to the financial ability to show the world, through material acquisitions, that you have succeeded.
If I think of the people in history I admire most, not many of them lived lavishly. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama truly symbolize success and yet they had very little possessions. Maybe our society will one day transform to the point where the definition of success will no longer be determined by financial wealth.
It is a known fact that material possession do not increase overall happiness. And it is probably when our society starts understanding that fact that more and more of us will find the way to true happiness!
What are the symbols of success in our society? No matter how hard we try to deny it and how spiritual we aim at being, in our subconscious minds, many of us associate success to financial wealth. Throughout our lives, we have been bombarded by images of successful people happily living in mansions and driving in expensive convertible cars.
So, although success can be defined by many standards other than money and luxury objects, the media tells us otherwise, so it is rather hard to completely get rid of those beliefs. We live in a materialistic world and there aren't many ways of escaping it.
When I was a teenager, I rebelled against materialism, as did many of my friends. The funny thing is, I attended a private school, and some of my rebellious friends were actually sons and daughters of diplomats. Is it easier to renounce to materialism when you are part of the wealthier portion of society and you can already afford everything you want?
In 2007, a study conducted with three groups of children aged 8-9, 11-12 and 15-16, by Lan Nguyen Chaplin (University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign) and Deborah Roedder John (University of Minnesota) showed a causal effect of low self-esteem and materialism, The more materialistic the children were, the lower their self- esteem and vice versa.
The authors explain that in fact "by the time children reach early adolescence, and experience a decline in self-esteem, the stage is set for the use of material possessions as a coping strategy for feelings of low self-worth". The study concluded that an increase in materialism was actually linked to a decrease in happiness.
Although that study was conducted with children, I believe that, probably to a lesser degree, it could apply to adults as well. In people's minds, material possessions are so closely linked to success that self-worth could very well be associated to the financial ability to show the world, through material acquisitions, that you have succeeded.
If I think of the people in history I admire most, not many of them lived lavishly. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama truly symbolize success and yet they had very little possessions. Maybe our society will one day transform to the point where the definition of success will no longer be determined by financial wealth.
It is a known fact that material possession do not increase overall happiness. And it is probably when our society starts understanding that fact that more and more of us will find the way to true happiness!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
DAY 215 - I SHALL REJOICE... AND NOT WORRY
Day 215
 |
OTTAWA |
So, my 9 year-old daughter left at 6:45 am this morning for a field trip to Ottawa, Canada’s Capital. She is going to spend two nights and three days with her school friends and teachers discovering, learning, having a great time and feeling she is slowly acquiring independence.
Last night, I gave her the “SAFETY RULES” speech…but still, this morning, as the bus drove off, I felt a pinch in my heart and my eyes became watery! Nothing very rational… more like a vague feeling of concern mixed with a realization that my little baby is no longer a baby.
As my kids are getting older, I’m realizing more and more how important it is to learn to give them space to grow, which means being able to accept and understand that not because I don't control their every move, something will go wrong.
I could very easily spend three days worrying about her, imagining unlikely scenarios, wondering how she is. But if I do that, I am giving in to an imaginary life that is harmful to my mental health and hinders my peace of mind.
The only thing I CAN control, or at least attempt to control, is my thoughts. I CAN choose to focus on the fun and learning experience this trip represents for her. I CAN decide to think about how memorable it is going to be for her and how she is working on creating a library of wonderful memories. And, if I push it a little further, I CAN even choose to rejoice at the fact that she is growing up and experiencing life outside of her family.
In the end, whatever I choose to think belongs to me and could make the difference between spending three very long and agonizing days waiting for her impatiently or spending three short and happy days, looking forward to her return, but enjoying the here and now as well! Put that way, why would anyone choose the first option? Oh God, if only it were that easy!!!!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Monday, May 9, 2011
DAY 214 - ARTHUR SHOPENHAUER: HAPPINESS FOR THE PESSIMIST
Day 214
The German philosopher Arthur Shopenhauer (1788- 1860) had a very pessimistic view of the world. He viewed it as bleak and destructive. For that reason, he thought that finding true happiness was impossible, that all we could do is avoid too much misery.
At the end of his career, Shopenhauer wrote a book in which he gives advice on how to live a "bearable life". In that book, he defines happiness as being the total absence of pain, frustration and dissatisfaction as well as the fulfillment of all desires, a sort of hedonistic perfection.
Our will, or our desires, cannot always be satisfied. And so, according to Shopenhauer, we are doomed to constantly be frustrated. And even when our desires are fulfilled, the happiness resulting from it is fleeting, evasive, temporary. The higher the expectation, the lower the level of satisfaction, so we should aim at having the lowest expectations possible. Furthermore, when one desire is satisfied, it invariably leads to an increase in our desires. And when all our desires are exhausted, ultimately, there is boredom.
Suffering is therefore unavoidable and instead of trying to find happiness, we should try to go through life with a minimum amount of suffering in order to make it as bearable as possible. (Well that guy was really cheerful, maybe a little prosac would have helped!)
Shopenhauer's point of view obviously greatly differs from the positive psychology movement that began at the end of the 90's, which identifies attitude, frame of mind and actions as being key elements in finding happiness. All you have to do is think positive, control your mind, find purpose and you will be HAPPY!
No matter how pessimistic he sounds, Shopenhauer does point out something undeniable, the fact that pain is unavoidable and that desire leads to suffering. The buddhist philosophy is actually based on that. But happiness is not merely the satisfaction of desires or the accumulation of joyful moments, it is something much more complex than that.
Shopenhauer's view is interesting for its historical perspective, but also because it probably does correspond to a vision shared by a portion of society. Not everyone can or wants to fight their pessimistic nature. And his advice, as dark as it may seem, maybe strikes a chord in those people who are fed up of hearing that they need to become more "optimistic" and view the world in a light they just cannot bring themselves to see.
At the end of his career, Shopenhauer wrote a book in which he gives advice on how to live a "bearable life". In that book, he defines happiness as being the total absence of pain, frustration and dissatisfaction as well as the fulfillment of all desires, a sort of hedonistic perfection.
Our will, or our desires, cannot always be satisfied. And so, according to Shopenhauer, we are doomed to constantly be frustrated. And even when our desires are fulfilled, the happiness resulting from it is fleeting, evasive, temporary. The higher the expectation, the lower the level of satisfaction, so we should aim at having the lowest expectations possible. Furthermore, when one desire is satisfied, it invariably leads to an increase in our desires. And when all our desires are exhausted, ultimately, there is boredom.
Suffering is therefore unavoidable and instead of trying to find happiness, we should try to go through life with a minimum amount of suffering in order to make it as bearable as possible. (Well that guy was really cheerful, maybe a little prosac would have helped!)
Shopenhauer's point of view obviously greatly differs from the positive psychology movement that began at the end of the 90's, which identifies attitude, frame of mind and actions as being key elements in finding happiness. All you have to do is think positive, control your mind, find purpose and you will be HAPPY!
No matter how pessimistic he sounds, Shopenhauer does point out something undeniable, the fact that pain is unavoidable and that desire leads to suffering. The buddhist philosophy is actually based on that. But happiness is not merely the satisfaction of desires or the accumulation of joyful moments, it is something much more complex than that.
Shopenhauer's view is interesting for its historical perspective, but also because it probably does correspond to a vision shared by a portion of society. Not everyone can or wants to fight their pessimistic nature. And his advice, as dark as it may seem, maybe strikes a chord in those people who are fed up of hearing that they need to become more "optimistic" and view the world in a light they just cannot bring themselves to see.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
DAY 213 - "EMOTIONAL PERSPIRATION"
Day 213
So far, many people who have answered my survey on happiness in my Happiness Vox Pop Friday night column, have mentioned something that I find very interesting. To the question : What do you do when you're feeling sad?, Dee Dee Johnson, Serge Medawar and Kelly Wilson answered that they first acknowledged their suffering, before trying to take control of their emotions and move on.
My tendency is probably to push away any type of suffering. As I mentioned in a previous post, it is a very North American thing to do ( see Happiness: East against West). It is also very Egyptian. The problem is, when you brush off sadness, it builds up and, one way or another, ends up coming out.
My friend Sara told me an interesting story. One of her friends was suffering from heavy migraines. She went to see an acupuncturist who first chose to treat her once a month. After a couple of visits, he gave her an appointment for the next week. She was quite surprised: why did he want to see her back so quickly? After that treatment, the girl cried for a week nonstop. She is not an emotional person, so she was wondering what was going on with her. She would cry at work, at home, while driving... she thought she was going through a depression. When she went back to the acupuncturist, he told her that her migraines were caused by a build-up of emotions. After that treatment, she stopped having them.
I'm not suggesting you should hollow in your suffering for too long... But a good cry can really be beneficial. New York Times reporter Benedict Carey referred to tears in an article published in 2009 as “emotional perspiration”. And since perspiration helps get rid of toxins, crying could serve as a kind of emotional cleansing!
Some people cry very easily; others never cry. In fact, tears are not that necessary. What is important is, at least, acknowledging suffering and, confronting and dealing with your emotions instead of avoiding them!!!! It's not easy to do. It's much easier to just brush them aside and try to forget about them. But I believe it to be necessary in order to attain a maximum level of mental and emotional wellbeing.
"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep".
Henry Maudsley
“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.”
Thomas Merton
"Tearless grief bleeds inwardly".
Christian Nevell Bovee
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
So far, many people who have answered my survey on happiness in my Happiness Vox Pop Friday night column, have mentioned something that I find very interesting. To the question : What do you do when you're feeling sad?, Dee Dee Johnson, Serge Medawar and Kelly Wilson answered that they first acknowledged their suffering, before trying to take control of their emotions and move on.
My tendency is probably to push away any type of suffering. As I mentioned in a previous post, it is a very North American thing to do ( see Happiness: East against West). It is also very Egyptian. The problem is, when you brush off sadness, it builds up and, one way or another, ends up coming out.
My friend Sara told me an interesting story. One of her friends was suffering from heavy migraines. She went to see an acupuncturist who first chose to treat her once a month. After a couple of visits, he gave her an appointment for the next week. She was quite surprised: why did he want to see her back so quickly? After that treatment, the girl cried for a week nonstop. She is not an emotional person, so she was wondering what was going on with her. She would cry at work, at home, while driving... she thought she was going through a depression. When she went back to the acupuncturist, he told her that her migraines were caused by a build-up of emotions. After that treatment, she stopped having them.
I'm not suggesting you should hollow in your suffering for too long... But a good cry can really be beneficial. New York Times reporter Benedict Carey referred to tears in an article published in 2009 as “emotional perspiration”. And since perspiration helps get rid of toxins, crying could serve as a kind of emotional cleansing!
Some people cry very easily; others never cry. In fact, tears are not that necessary. What is important is, at least, acknowledging suffering and, confronting and dealing with your emotions instead of avoiding them!!!! It's not easy to do. It's much easier to just brush them aside and try to forget about them. But I believe it to be necessary in order to attain a maximum level of mental and emotional wellbeing.
"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep".
Henry Maudsley
“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.”
Thomas Merton
"Tearless grief bleeds inwardly".
Christian Nevell Bovee
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Friday, May 6, 2011
DAY 212: HAPPINESS VOX POP: ROBERT YOUNG, GRAPHIC DESIGNER, STUDENT, SELF-PROCLAIMED NERD
DAY 212Ok, here comes the nerd in me...
Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?
On the whole, would you say you are a happy person?
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Thursday, May 5, 2011
DAY 211 - PROJECT HAPPINESS, A STEP TOWARD UNIVERSAL WELLBEING
Day 211
Last Friday, my friend Anna offered me a bottle of wine. The name of it: Project Happiness. I researched the product and found that the intention of the winemaker was to create happiness in a bottle! Interesting concept... and definitely a symbol of our time, which seems to become more and more aware of the importance of being happy. The company has a website where people can go and comment on what makes them happy. Happiness in a bottle... if only it were that easy!
Fascinating enough, while googling it, I stumbled upon a movement also called Project Happiness. In yesterday's post, I spoke about the fact that time and effort should be spent on promoting happiness, since it is said to play a role in longevity. Today, I discovered a movement that is aiming at educating children on the concept of happiness, so that they realize that happiness is a choice, before they actually get sucked into a life that makes them feel otherwise.
Project Happiness began as a documentary film project in which high school seniors in California, Nigeria and Dharamsala, got to explore the scientific, spiritual and social approaches to happiness. However, after its completion, Randy Taran, creator of Project Happiness, with the help of the kids involved in the film, developed a Project Happiness Curriculum, that includes a 195-page student handbook with over 70 exercises for kids and a facilitator’s guide.
That curriculum is being taught in schools around the world, including Silicon Valley, a San Francisco elementary school, as well as schools in Nepal, Guatemala, India and Nigeria. Over 1,500 students around the globe are learning, through the program, to use compassion and kindness in order to shape a happier healthier future for themselves and those around them.
I love the idea. Children represent the future. So, making them realize they have control over their level of happiness through their choices enhances their present lives, but it also increases the likeliness of their future wellbeing. And since happiness is contagious, maybe it will also help in making the whole world a better and happier place!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Last Friday, my friend Anna offered me a bottle of wine. The name of it: Project Happiness. I researched the product and found that the intention of the winemaker was to create happiness in a bottle! Interesting concept... and definitely a symbol of our time, which seems to become more and more aware of the importance of being happy. The company has a website where people can go and comment on what makes them happy. Happiness in a bottle... if only it were that easy!
Fascinating enough, while googling it, I stumbled upon a movement also called Project Happiness. In yesterday's post, I spoke about the fact that time and effort should be spent on promoting happiness, since it is said to play a role in longevity. Today, I discovered a movement that is aiming at educating children on the concept of happiness, so that they realize that happiness is a choice, before they actually get sucked into a life that makes them feel otherwise.
Project Happiness began as a documentary film project in which high school seniors in California, Nigeria and Dharamsala, got to explore the scientific, spiritual and social approaches to happiness. However, after its completion, Randy Taran, creator of Project Happiness, with the help of the kids involved in the film, developed a Project Happiness Curriculum, that includes a 195-page student handbook with over 70 exercises for kids and a facilitator’s guide.
That curriculum is being taught in schools around the world, including Silicon Valley, a San Francisco elementary school, as well as schools in Nepal, Guatemala, India and Nigeria. Over 1,500 students around the globe are learning, through the program, to use compassion and kindness in order to shape a happier healthier future for themselves and those around them.
I love the idea. Children represent the future. So, making them realize they have control over their level of happiness through their choices enhances their present lives, but it also increases the likeliness of their future wellbeing. And since happiness is contagious, maybe it will also help in making the whole world a better and happier place!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
DAY 210 - BE HAPPY, LIVE LONGER
Day 210
Contrarily to common belief, happiness is not something that will suddenly appear after you reach some goal, whether it's money, a promotion, a boyfriend or a child. You need to work at it intensely every single day of your life. Sure, some people have a happier disposition than others and so are naturally happier on a daily basis, but life is full of obstacles, even for those who were born with the "happy gene".
Working on happiness will make your life more enjoyable, but it will also allow you to live longer, according to a comprehensive review of more than 160 studies, conducted by Ed Diener, psychology professor at the University of Illinois and published in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.
The study reveals compelling evidence of the fact that having positive emotions like optimism and joy as opposed to negative emotions such as anger, stress or depression, can have an impact on the health and longevity of an individual.
I'm always reluctant when it comes to beliefs that make people responsible for their ill health. Unhappiness alone cannot be responsible for all the diseases in the world.
However, our society spends a lot of money and time trying to prevent illnesses by lauching awareness campaigns on healthy eating, the importance of exercising and the negative impact of smoking. Why not promote happiness? Especially that individual happiness has a true impact on society. Happy people are more creative, productive, influence the level of happiness of those around them, etc.
So, let's keep on working at being more optimistic, have goals, find purpose and develop relationships! In the end, if everyone works at trying to get happier, we indirectly all benefit from it!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
Contrarily to common belief, happiness is not something that will suddenly appear after you reach some goal, whether it's money, a promotion, a boyfriend or a child. You need to work at it intensely every single day of your life. Sure, some people have a happier disposition than others and so are naturally happier on a daily basis, but life is full of obstacles, even for those who were born with the "happy gene".
Working on happiness will make your life more enjoyable, but it will also allow you to live longer, according to a comprehensive review of more than 160 studies, conducted by Ed Diener, psychology professor at the University of Illinois and published in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.
The study reveals compelling evidence of the fact that having positive emotions like optimism and joy as opposed to negative emotions such as anger, stress or depression, can have an impact on the health and longevity of an individual.
I'm always reluctant when it comes to beliefs that make people responsible for their ill health. Unhappiness alone cannot be responsible for all the diseases in the world.
However, our society spends a lot of money and time trying to prevent illnesses by lauching awareness campaigns on healthy eating, the importance of exercising and the negative impact of smoking. Why not promote happiness? Especially that individual happiness has a true impact on society. Happy people are more creative, productive, influence the level of happiness of those around them, etc.
So, let's keep on working at being more optimistic, have goals, find purpose and develop relationships! In the end, if everyone works at trying to get happier, we indirectly all benefit from it!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
DAY 209 - UNHAPPY DAY: THE CONSERVATIVES ELECTED WITH A MAJORITY...
Day 209
As many Canadians did, I watched the elections last night. I had been following the campaign very closely and I was hoping that, since it wasn’t possible for any other party to win these elections, the Conservatives, a right wing party, wouldn’t get a majority.
Last night, at 10:30pm, I knew I had lost my bet. The Conservatives were going to form a majority government. That meant they would be able to implement whatever policy they chose. I didn’t cry, but I could have!!!!
The Conservatives have been known, among other things, to utter racist and homophobic comments, to be environmentally in denial and to have policies that get the rich richer and the poor poorer! Everything they represent goes against my deepest beliefs!
The Conservatives have been known, among other things, to utter racist and homophobic comments, to be environmentally in denial and to have policies that get the rich richer and the poor poorer! Everything they represent goes against my deepest beliefs!
As I began watching the elections, I was worried and even a little depressed, seeing that the Conservatives might win a majority. And then, when I realized they were actually reelected, I decided to shift my thoughts to four years from now, when their mandate would finally be over. I also tried to rejoice at the fact that the NDP, a social democratic party I believe in, was going to be the official opposition.
The outcome of an election is really not something I can control, so at a certain point last night, I had to let it go and change my perspective. The truth of the matter is the Conservative Party is going to govern now, so all I can do is cross my fingers that the repercussions of their years in power on the future of Canada won’t be too disastrous.
The elections definitely brought down my level of happiness. But we live in a democracy and I'm hopeful that Canadians will eventually realize that the Conservative Party is definitely not the one our country needs in order to face the environmental and social challenges that lie ahead. It might take a couple of years for Canadians to understand that, but I have faith that they eventually will!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Monday, May 2, 2011
DAY 208 - ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS... ARE YOU TRYING TO SABOTAGE YOURSELF?
Day 208
I've had many projects and dreams in my life, some I've achieved and some I havent. One of my biggest achievements, outside of my kids of course, was probably to complete my Master's Degree in Literature. It was about 15 years ago. I remember I had to finish writing my thesis for the month of September. It was my last deadline (being the procrastinator that I am, I had postposned the deadline several times before the University finally sent me a notice telling me that I needed to present my thesis by the end of the summer, or else).
So, while my friends were sipping sangria on patios during the hot summer months, I had to stay home alone in front of my computer and try to sound as intelligent as I could in a 100-page long paper. I almost gave up so many times... But my husband, parents, brothers and friends kept encouraging me to go on. Had it not been for their support, I'm not sure I would have ever finished it!
So what lesson did I learn from that experience? First, in order to achieve your goals, you need to talk about them to people you trust and surround yourself by those who believe in you. You have a better chance of reaching your goals if you feel your family and friends are right behind you supporting you! You also need to stay away from people who tend to drag you down or give you their 'honest' but negative comments.
You also have to be willing to work hard!!!!! Nothing ever comes easy. Success really is about "99% perspiration and 1% inspiration", as Thomas Edison put it so well.
You also need to make sure you don't end up sabotaging yourself by letting your negative thoughts (led by the little devil on your left shoulder) win over your positive thoughts (led by the little angel on your right shoulder).
Most of the times, the biggest obstacle to your success is ... yourself.. Fear of failure, fear of success, lack of perseverance, lack of self-confidence, mixed with a little laziness and an array of semi-invented excuses, are all elements that keep you from going forward in trying to achieve your goals! The thing is, in the end, why not give it a try? You really have nothing to lose! And who knows, you might even succeed! And wouldn't that make you happy?
"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure."
George Edward Woodberry
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.”
George Sheehan
“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”
Mark Victor Hansen
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
I've had many projects and dreams in my life, some I've achieved and some I havent. One of my biggest achievements, outside of my kids of course, was probably to complete my Master's Degree in Literature. It was about 15 years ago. I remember I had to finish writing my thesis for the month of September. It was my last deadline (being the procrastinator that I am, I had postposned the deadline several times before the University finally sent me a notice telling me that I needed to present my thesis by the end of the summer, or else).
So, while my friends were sipping sangria on patios during the hot summer months, I had to stay home alone in front of my computer and try to sound as intelligent as I could in a 100-page long paper. I almost gave up so many times... But my husband, parents, brothers and friends kept encouraging me to go on. Had it not been for their support, I'm not sure I would have ever finished it!
So what lesson did I learn from that experience? First, in order to achieve your goals, you need to talk about them to people you trust and surround yourself by those who believe in you. You have a better chance of reaching your goals if you feel your family and friends are right behind you supporting you! You also need to stay away from people who tend to drag you down or give you their 'honest' but negative comments.
You also have to be willing to work hard!!!!! Nothing ever comes easy. Success really is about "99% perspiration and 1% inspiration", as Thomas Edison put it so well.
You also need to make sure you don't end up sabotaging yourself by letting your negative thoughts (led by the little devil on your left shoulder) win over your positive thoughts (led by the little angel on your right shoulder).
Most of the times, the biggest obstacle to your success is ... yourself.. Fear of failure, fear of success, lack of perseverance, lack of self-confidence, mixed with a little laziness and an array of semi-invented excuses, are all elements that keep you from going forward in trying to achieve your goals! The thing is, in the end, why not give it a try? You really have nothing to lose! And who knows, you might even succeed! And wouldn't that make you happy?
"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure."
George Edward Woodberry
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.”
George Sheehan
“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”
Mark Victor Hansen
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Sunday, May 1, 2011
DAY 207 - BREAKING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Day 207
Last Thursday, I asked my students if they always slept on the same side of the bed. They all answered that they did and, most of them added that in fact, they wouldn't really feel comfortable changing sides. I feel the same way. I've always slept on the left side of the bed and so, wherever my husband and I travel, I automatically lie down on that side, even if the bed is inside a tent! Sleeping on the right side would feel very strange!
Most of us love familiarity. We all have our little habits and don't really ever challenge them. Probably it is because those habits truly give us a sense of security. It is so reassuring to know what to expect of yourself, of your environment and even of your thoughts. By repeating the same patterns, although they might not really bring you happiness, you feel safe. That is why some people stay in abusive relationships for so long....
The problem with leading a life of known and expected behaviours is that there is always the danger of, one day, being confronted with an unavoidable change. And if you are not used to adapting quickly to new situations, you might have a real difficult time with it. Life is unpredictable and change always ends up knocking on your door. Also, I believe that by swimming in the same water all the time, you end up killing your creativity.
To avoid that, you need to get out of your comfort zone on a daily basis, especially if you feel that there lacks something in your life and you have the desire to fill that gap. How could you change anything in your life if you keep repeating the same actions over and over again?
Do you always take the same route to get to work? Do you always eat the same dish when you go to the restaurant? Do you always cook the same meals, week after week?
I, for one, get fed up of cooking because I'm always using the same ingredients. There are so many vegetables, fruit, grains and spices we never buy because they are simply not on our list of familiar foods.
Pushing yourself to go beyond your comfort zone by implementing little changes can really help spice up your life. It doesn't have to be radical. It could only be one little change a day, like going out on a week night, trying out a new recipe, ordering something different at your favourite restaurant... or even, if you really want to be adventurous, sleeping on the other side of the bed!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Last Thursday, I asked my students if they always slept on the same side of the bed. They all answered that they did and, most of them added that in fact, they wouldn't really feel comfortable changing sides. I feel the same way. I've always slept on the left side of the bed and so, wherever my husband and I travel, I automatically lie down on that side, even if the bed is inside a tent! Sleeping on the right side would feel very strange!
Most of us love familiarity. We all have our little habits and don't really ever challenge them. Probably it is because those habits truly give us a sense of security. It is so reassuring to know what to expect of yourself, of your environment and even of your thoughts. By repeating the same patterns, although they might not really bring you happiness, you feel safe. That is why some people stay in abusive relationships for so long....
The problem with leading a life of known and expected behaviours is that there is always the danger of, one day, being confronted with an unavoidable change. And if you are not used to adapting quickly to new situations, you might have a real difficult time with it. Life is unpredictable and change always ends up knocking on your door. Also, I believe that by swimming in the same water all the time, you end up killing your creativity.
To avoid that, you need to get out of your comfort zone on a daily basis, especially if you feel that there lacks something in your life and you have the desire to fill that gap. How could you change anything in your life if you keep repeating the same actions over and over again?
Do you always take the same route to get to work? Do you always eat the same dish when you go to the restaurant? Do you always cook the same meals, week after week?
I, for one, get fed up of cooking because I'm always using the same ingredients. There are so many vegetables, fruit, grains and spices we never buy because they are simply not on our list of familiar foods.
Pushing yourself to go beyond your comfort zone by implementing little changes can really help spice up your life. It doesn't have to be radical. It could only be one little change a day, like going out on a week night, trying out a new recipe, ordering something different at your favourite restaurant... or even, if you really want to be adventurous, sleeping on the other side of the bed!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Friday, April 29, 2011
DAY 206 - HAPPINESS VOX POP: DEE DEE JOHNSON - ACTOR, MUSICIAN, CHALLENGE-SEEKER... WITH A DELIGHTFUL SENSE OF HUMOUR
Day 206
I was born in a pretty regular Northern Ontario small town where I received a bilingual education. I graduated at Queen's University in Music. For 10 years, I worked for the Federal Government in Ottawa at various and ever encroaching “upwardly mobile” well-paying jobs. I left to retrieve what was left of my sense of humor and to discover what the world of performing arts had to offer. I became a waitress for about 5 minutes.. I didn't last because of spilling problem. I auditioned for one role and got the job. Fast-forward 20 years. It's been a great ride so far and despite the precarious nature of the gig, it's still the best gig in town.
Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?
Has your vision of happiness greatly changed through time?
Do you believe you have control on your level of happiness?
You can look at life in so many ways.. I do try to be optimistic...I'm probably hardly ever successful at it, but I do try to DO the things I want. I think that's a big part of it. It you can't “control” your life... or at least a part of it, it's very hard to find any happiness. Think about people though... they will find happiness in the most “unlikely” places. But if you've lost your entire family to a tsunami or an earthquake or crazy forest fires eating up your house or your husband beats you or you have to sift through garbage to make your way or you have cancer or aids or you're trapped by what ever other evilorhorriblethingthatexistsinthisworld... shit..I don't know.. that stuff will really test you... I don't know how I would deal with that personally.... Wow I just realized I was asked about happiness and all I spoke about was misery and “unhappiness” … what does that mean? Yin Yang?
What do you do to change your mood when you’re feeling sad?
Aka...I allow the sad and then I buck up and get on with my day...
I was born in a pretty regular Northern Ontario small town where I received a bilingual education. I graduated at Queen's University in Music. For 10 years, I worked for the Federal Government in Ottawa at various and ever encroaching “upwardly mobile” well-paying jobs. I left to retrieve what was left of my sense of humor and to discover what the world of performing arts had to offer. I became a waitress for about 5 minutes.. I didn't last because of spilling problem. I auditioned for one role and got the job. Fast-forward 20 years. It's been a great ride so far and despite the precarious nature of the gig, it's still the best gig in town.
What is happiness for you?
Playing with the people I want to play with and making the thing we want to make together.
Has your profession impacted your level and your vision of happiness? If yes, how?
Definitely. I chose it BECAUSE it made my happiness. But so much of the time it makes me VERY unhappy. It's strange... I seem to love the struggle. It is like loving your misery...
Has your vision of happiness greatly changed through time?
I had one great switch in my life, which was to make a conscious decision to say “No” to what was “expected” of me and then do what I “decided” to do. Seek my bliss, was what I thought. Since then, life has taken on a more gradual shift... like the wrinkles in my face.. ha! All earned. All what they are. My view of happiness is changing though... shorter term goals... probably because I'm actually starting to see how much time I have left here. Still, if I can't laugh in a day, I must have done something wrong.
Do you believe you have control on your level of happiness?
See above... yes definetely
I look at myself in the mirror and I cry my eyes out.
On the whole, would you say you are a happy person?
I think I WANT to be a happy person. I think I am very successful at “putting on” the happy person. But to tell you truthfully, I'm not even sure what “Happy” means. Truly... I have been “contented”, “satisfied”, “proud”, “awkward”, AND “happy” some days. But generally, I'm more questioning and confused and reacting... I am never “happy” constantly, like a “settled” thing. Life is so transient and changing, how can you be anything but what you are at this moment!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Thursday, April 28, 2011
DAY 205- WANDERING MIND, UNHAPPY STATE
Day 205
Does your mind often wander off during the day? I know mine does. I call it distraction, but I could also call it mind-wandering! That is why meditation is so hard for me. It seems like, no matter how hard I try not to have any, thoughts keep racing through my mind. Well, a study has shown that this characteristic of my personality might contribute to my unhappiness!
Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, two psychologists from Harvard University came up with the brilliant idea of using an IPhone application as the principal research tool for a study on happiness that was published last November in the Science Journal.
This iPhone application, created by Killingsworth, randomly asked 2,250 volunteers from all over the world at different intervals of the day what their level of happiness was, what they were doing and what they were thinking about.
Killingsworth and Gilbert found that people were happiest when making love, exercising, or engaging in conversation. They were least happy when resting, working, or using a home computer.
The results also showed that people's minds wandered a lot, regardless of what they were doing: people reported letting their minds wander 46.9% of the time, and at least 30% of the time during every activity except having sex.
The study showed that mind-wandering was actually a predictor of people's happiness more than the actual activities people were engaged in.
The researchers estimated that only 4.6 percent of a person's happiness in a given moment was attributable to the specific activity he or she was doing, whereas whether or not a person was wandering determined about 10.8 percent of his or her happiness.
Many philosophical and psychological schools of thought, believe that happiness starts by living in the present moment. Now, a study has shown the validity of that statement. So, maybe when your mind wanders off while you're in the middle of cooking, it is worth bringing it back to the task at hand. It could make you happier... and, perhaps, also prevent you from burning yourself or messing up the recipe!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Does your mind often wander off during the day? I know mine does. I call it distraction, but I could also call it mind-wandering! That is why meditation is so hard for me. It seems like, no matter how hard I try not to have any, thoughts keep racing through my mind. Well, a study has shown that this characteristic of my personality might contribute to my unhappiness!
Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, two psychologists from Harvard University came up with the brilliant idea of using an IPhone application as the principal research tool for a study on happiness that was published last November in the Science Journal.
This iPhone application, created by Killingsworth, randomly asked 2,250 volunteers from all over the world at different intervals of the day what their level of happiness was, what they were doing and what they were thinking about.
Killingsworth and Gilbert found that people were happiest when making love, exercising, or engaging in conversation. They were least happy when resting, working, or using a home computer.
The results also showed that people's minds wandered a lot, regardless of what they were doing: people reported letting their minds wander 46.9% of the time, and at least 30% of the time during every activity except having sex.
The study showed that mind-wandering was actually a predictor of people's happiness more than the actual activities people were engaged in.
The researchers estimated that only 4.6 percent of a person's happiness in a given moment was attributable to the specific activity he or she was doing, whereas whether or not a person was wandering determined about 10.8 percent of his or her happiness.
Many philosophical and psychological schools of thought, believe that happiness starts by living in the present moment. Now, a study has shown the validity of that statement. So, maybe when your mind wanders off while you're in the middle of cooking, it is worth bringing it back to the task at hand. It could make you happier... and, perhaps, also prevent you from burning yourself or messing up the recipe!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
DAY 204 - SPRING CLEANING
Day 204
On Saturday morning, I woke up with a mission: to do spring cleaning! I started with my daughters' drawers. You would have thought Hurricane Disaster had passed through there. Everything was upside down. I emptied it all on the floor and made three piles: stuff to give away, stuff to keep for next winter and stuff to put back in the drawers.
The problem with my children's clothes is that, if I consult them on what to give away, they always choose to keep everything. And if I don't consult them and I give away some piece of clothes that they love but never wear, the day they find out I've gotten rid of it is a day of weeping!!!! I know, I'm the mother and I should be tougher... but I remember how I felt when my mother threw away something I loved!!!! I hated it!
After I finished cleaning, I opened all the windows in the house to purify the air. (I don't know how pure the air was since I live in the city, but it felt good anyway). After taking a shower, I went around my house to admire my work! I was happy. I had a feeling of renewal. No more dirt, no more mess, everything seemed so much more zen. According to Feng Shui, clutter keeps energy from flowing. On Saturday, I felt that there was a better, more positive flow of energy in my house.
Spring cleaning is not like any other type of cleaning! It allows you to put winter behind, both physically and mentally. It prepares the arrival of the no-more-boots, no-more jackets, no-more-cold season. It leads the way to the wonderful sock-free, painted toe-nails, sleeveless shirt time of year! And I love it!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
On Saturday morning, I woke up with a mission: to do spring cleaning! I started with my daughters' drawers. You would have thought Hurricane Disaster had passed through there. Everything was upside down. I emptied it all on the floor and made three piles: stuff to give away, stuff to keep for next winter and stuff to put back in the drawers.
The problem with my children's clothes is that, if I consult them on what to give away, they always choose to keep everything. And if I don't consult them and I give away some piece of clothes that they love but never wear, the day they find out I've gotten rid of it is a day of weeping!!!! I know, I'm the mother and I should be tougher... but I remember how I felt when my mother threw away something I loved!!!! I hated it!
After I finished cleaning, I opened all the windows in the house to purify the air. (I don't know how pure the air was since I live in the city, but it felt good anyway). After taking a shower, I went around my house to admire my work! I was happy. I had a feeling of renewal. No more dirt, no more mess, everything seemed so much more zen. According to Feng Shui, clutter keeps energy from flowing. On Saturday, I felt that there was a better, more positive flow of energy in my house.
Spring cleaning is not like any other type of cleaning! It allows you to put winter behind, both physically and mentally. It prepares the arrival of the no-more-boots, no-more jackets, no-more-cold season. It leads the way to the wonderful sock-free, painted toe-nails, sleeveless shirt time of year! And I love it!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
DAY 203 - COLD SHOWERS, MASOCHISTIC AND HEALTHY?
Day 203
As I was driving in my car the other day, a French Doctor by the name of Frederic Saldman was being interviewed about a book he has just published; a book that talks about longevity and health. One of the things he recommended was to take a cold shower every day.
I love taking hot showers. Sometimes, in the morning, I'll stay in the shower longer than I need, just in order to enjoy the feeling of warm water falling on my sleepy body. So, taking a cold shower has never crossed my mind. Why would I purposely put myself through that kind of torture? I'm not that masochistic!
When it comes to healthy choices, I often find myself confronted with a dilemma: do I opt for immediate pleasure or long-term benefits? As for the case of cold showers, the jury is still out on it. However, it seems that more and more scientists believe that there are more advantages to it than disadvantages.
While doing some research on the issue, I realized that even yogis are fervent believers in the health benefits of cold showers. Most specialists suggest to start your shower with warm water and end it with cold water. It is said that taking a cold shower every day:
- Strengthens the immune system
- Flushes toxins from the skin
- Increases blood circulation
- Keeps your skin tight, elastic and vibrant (keeps you looking young)
- Keeps your hair healthy
- Has an anti-depressant effect on your mood
- Contributes to your longevity potential
- Definitely wakes you up in the morning!
This blog has been making me experience a variety of new things. Taking cold showers in the morning will probably feel like torture, initially at least, but who knows, maybe, as many adherents do, I will end up loving them!
And, by the way, for obvious reasons, cold showers are not recommended for people with a heart condition!
Do any of you already take cold showers regularly? If yes, please let me know, so I can know what to expect!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
As I was driving in my car the other day, a French Doctor by the name of Frederic Saldman was being interviewed about a book he has just published; a book that talks about longevity and health. One of the things he recommended was to take a cold shower every day.
I love taking hot showers. Sometimes, in the morning, I'll stay in the shower longer than I need, just in order to enjoy the feeling of warm water falling on my sleepy body. So, taking a cold shower has never crossed my mind. Why would I purposely put myself through that kind of torture? I'm not that masochistic!When it comes to healthy choices, I often find myself confronted with a dilemma: do I opt for immediate pleasure or long-term benefits? As for the case of cold showers, the jury is still out on it. However, it seems that more and more scientists believe that there are more advantages to it than disadvantages.
While doing some research on the issue, I realized that even yogis are fervent believers in the health benefits of cold showers. Most specialists suggest to start your shower with warm water and end it with cold water. It is said that taking a cold shower every day:
- Strengthens the immune system
- Flushes toxins from the skin
- Increases blood circulation
- Keeps your skin tight, elastic and vibrant (keeps you looking young)
- Keeps your hair healthy
- Has an anti-depressant effect on your mood
- Contributes to your longevity potential
- Definitely wakes you up in the morning!
This blog has been making me experience a variety of new things. Taking cold showers in the morning will probably feel like torture, initially at least, but who knows, maybe, as many adherents do, I will end up loving them!
And, by the way, for obvious reasons, cold showers are not recommended for people with a heart condition!
Do any of you already take cold showers regularly? If yes, please let me know, so I can know what to expect!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Monday, April 25, 2011
DAY 202 - TRADITIONS: FOR OR AGAINST?
Day 202
There was a time in my life (during my teenage years in particular) when I rejected traditions. I was a rebel (at least, I thought I was). To be a free thinker meant not adhering to anything that was set and structured by others. Why did anyone have to decide anything in my life? I wanted to be free and traditions, as well as many other established principles, came in the way of my liberty!
That is, of course, until I had children! That is, of course, until I realized that, no matter how much I tried to get away from them, traditions were actually part of who I was...
The Egyptian Easter tradition is one my favourite ones. Every year, we go to my parent's house for brunch. We celebrate what we call in arabic "sham el-nessim", which means breathing in the air. In Egypt, after the meal, people actually go out for walks to breath in the air, which on that day they believe to have a wonderfully beneficial effect.
This tradition dates back to the Ancient Egyptians, around 2700 BC. It was actually meant to celebrate the arrival of the vernal equinox which is associated with spring.
Today, although it is always celebrated on Easter Monday, all Egyptians, even muslims, celebrate it. Traditionally, the meal consists of beans, green onions, a salty fish called Feseekh, and of course, coloured eggs.
There is a ritual associated with the eggs. First, we boil them and colour them. Then, each member of the family picks one or two eggs to battle with the others. The objective is to try to break your opponent's egg by hitting it with your own egg on both extremities. The winner is the one who is left with an unbroken egg. Today, as we do every year, we went over to my parent's house in the morning for my kids to colour the eggs and we had the egg breaking contest. I lost!
Traditions allow families to strengthen their ties, create wonderful memories and spend pleasurable moments together. Studies have shown that traditions have a positive impact on happiness, because they create a sense of belonging. And the beauty with traditions is that, although some are set, you always have the freedom to create new ones or adapt the ones you already have to your own way of life!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
There was a time in my life (during my teenage years in particular) when I rejected traditions. I was a rebel (at least, I thought I was). To be a free thinker meant not adhering to anything that was set and structured by others. Why did anyone have to decide anything in my life? I wanted to be free and traditions, as well as many other established principles, came in the way of my liberty!
The Egyptian Easter tradition is one my favourite ones. Every year, we go to my parent's house for brunch. We celebrate what we call in arabic "sham el-nessim", which means breathing in the air. In Egypt, after the meal, people actually go out for walks to breath in the air, which on that day they believe to have a wonderfully beneficial effect.
This tradition dates back to the Ancient Egyptians, around 2700 BC. It was actually meant to celebrate the arrival of the vernal equinox which is associated with spring.
Today, although it is always celebrated on Easter Monday, all Egyptians, even muslims, celebrate it. Traditionally, the meal consists of beans, green onions, a salty fish called Feseekh, and of course, coloured eggs.
There is a ritual associated with the eggs. First, we boil them and colour them. Then, each member of the family picks one or two eggs to battle with the others. The objective is to try to break your opponent's egg by hitting it with your own egg on both extremities. The winner is the one who is left with an unbroken egg. Today, as we do every year, we went over to my parent's house in the morning for my kids to colour the eggs and we had the egg breaking contest. I lost!
Traditions allow families to strengthen their ties, create wonderful memories and spend pleasurable moments together. Studies have shown that traditions have a positive impact on happiness, because they create a sense of belonging. And the beauty with traditions is that, although some are set, you always have the freedom to create new ones or adapt the ones you already have to your own way of life!
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
Sunday, April 24, 2011
DAY 201 - REVISITING YOUR MEMORIES!!!
Day 201
Today, as I was jogging with my girlfriend Christina, we started talking about when we turned 40 and traveled to Holland together to go visit some old friends. We had met these people in our 20’s during one of our European travels! When we returned there, for a week, we became 20 again, going out and partying till the wee hours of the morning, feeling carefree, as if we didn’t have any responsibilities!
To achieve happiness, many authors and, even I, have suggested to live in the present and not in the past. I agree with that principle, but sometimes revisiting your memories can give you lots of happiness!
Today, as I was jogging with my girlfriend Christina, we started talking about when we turned 40 and traveled to Holland together to go visit some old friends. We had met these people in our 20’s during one of our European travels! When we returned there, for a week, we became 20 again, going out and partying till the wee hours of the morning, feeling carefree, as if we didn’t have any responsibilities!Revisiting happy memories can really spice up your day, especially when you’re not feeling so great! Talking about that time made us laugh a lot! It actually added happiness to the present moment, but through a story that happened in the past.
I often reminisce with my children as well, and they love it as much as I do. I’ll tell them funny anecdotes about their early years… for instance when my eldest fell asleep in a bowl of soup, or when my youngest told my brother, who is a very funny guy, I want to go swimming with someone who loves me and who doesn’t tell jokes!
Living life to the fullest in the present creates memories for the future…. But reminiscing about the past can sometimes create happiness in the present.
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness
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