DAY 231 - TALK ABOUT WHAT MATTERS, BE HAPPIER!

Day 231

I've always enjoyed idle chit chat.  Especially when it's done with people who have a great sense of humour... I'm not refering to conversations about the weather, which I find extremely boring (although, I must admit I often have them when I don't have anything else to say to a person I meet by chance), but rather to conversations about every day life (cooking, shopping, etc.).

However, I still prefer  having deep meaningful conversations! I look for them; I initiate them in my classroom; I create them with my friends by asking questions and making statements....  It stimulates me and really gives me a sense of fulfillment.  Especially conversations that involve my thinking abilities as well as my emotional input.  That's probably why the topic of happiness interests me so much.  I'm not a pure intellectual and when conversations fly to high, in a cerebral way, I get bored!

A study that was conducted in 2010 by Matthias Mehl, a psychologist at the University of Arizona showed that meaningful conversations lead to a happier state of mind.  For the study, the researchers recorded four days of conversations in 79 participants and evaluated the depth level of their content.  They concluded that people who partook in social interactions, whether it was through shallow or deep conversations, were happier than those who spent a lot of time alone.  They also noticed that people who were engaging in deeper conversations reported feeling happier than those engaged in idle talk.

It is a know fact that connecting with people is an essential part of happiness.  Obviously,  talking about the weather with someone is far from being conducive to the development of a solid relationship. You're just filling up the air with words, without any type of emotional involvement.  On the other hand, if you share your deepest beliefs and thoughts, you are letting the other person have access to a part of who you are and you are more likely to get a sense of closeness, of connection.

Some people talk a lot, but don't reveal much of themselves.  Maybe behind this sociable appearance, they feel really lonely, like they're not really connecting with anyone.  Idle talk is great...but it has to be mixed with more meaningful conversations in order for it to become something that gives you a sense of fulfillment and helps you develop true deep relationships.

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