Today, talking to my colleague Gloria, I realized that, as much as we all try to distinguish ourselves from our parents, as much as we try to denigrate their way of life, especially when we are young, we have internalized their values and beliefs so much that, as we age, we start acting like them without realizing it.
Gloria is of Italian origin. She grew up in a very Italian neighbourhood. Her father made his own wine, canned his tomatoes and planted a humongous garden. All Italians I know do that. Gloria is a very modern Canadian-Italian woman. She has clearly distanced herself from her conservative upbringing. She has two daughter and is raising them with an open mindedness her parents never had.However, today, she came to school very excited! "Tomorrow, she said, is TOMATO DAY!" "Tomato day, I replied, is that an Italian national holiday?" You see, tomorrow, Gloria is going to can tomatoes. Her garage is full of tomatoes and she will spend her Friday boiling, peeling and canning! It's such a big event, that her sister is coming down from Toronto to do it with her!
That example is concrete. Some of the influence of our parents is more subtle. Sometimes, I'll be scolding my children and I'll recognize my father in myself. I'll use the same words, the same tone of voice! For the longest time, I rejected traditions. I even refused to learn arabic when I was young. I wanted to fit in, be like all my other Canadian friends. Only now, do I realize how rich my cultural background is. Only now, am I able to fully embrace my origin and the great influence my parents have had on the development of my identity.
I believe self-knowledge and self-acceptance are essential elements to happiness. And that you can't deny that who you was partly determined by where you came from...
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