DAY 341 - "IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, BE", LEO TOLSTOY

Day 341

Today, I'm writing my last post of the year... I hope that this holiday season and the year-to-come will bring you health, peace, love and lots of happiness. I will be back sometime in January.  I'm not sure when.  I will take advantage of this little break to spend time with my family and friends.

As a little present to you, dear readers, I have gathered some quotes on happiness in order to leave you with food for thought... Bon appétit!

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."

George Sand

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."

HH the Dalai Lama


" The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

Victor Hugo

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."

 Robert Anthony


"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

 Nathaniel Hawthorne

"If you search the world for happiness, you may find it in the end, for the world is round and will lead you back to your door."

Robert Brault,

DAY 340 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - ANITA RODDICK, FOUNDER OF THE BODY SHOP

Day 340

Anita Roddick was born to an Italian mother and an American father in a little town by the name of Littlehampton in the United Kingdom on October 23rd, 1942. Her parents, like many immigrants, were hard workers and put her to work at a young age in the cafe they owned.  She had little time for leisure and developed a strong work ethic that was to serve her later on in her life.

At the age of 10, Roddick read a book about the holocaust.  It is then that she developed a strong sense of concern for the world around her. In 1962 she left England and got a scholarship to study in a kibbutz in Israel.  However,  a school prank got her expelled. Roddick then returned to England where she held several jobs. After a few months, she saved  money  and decided to travel through Tahiti, New Hebrides, New Caledonia, Australia and on to Johannesburg, her last stop. (She was expelled from South Africa after going to a jazz club on black night, violating apartheid laws.)

When she returned to  England, she met Gordon Roddick and the two were married in 1971. The couple owned and ran a restaurant and an eight-room hotel.  However, before long they felt overworked and needed a change of direction. With her approval, Gordon went off to ride a horse from Buenos Aires to New York City and Anita was left to support herself and her two children

Anita started a business while her husband was in the United States. She opened a cosmetic shop in Brighton by the name of The Body Shop in order to be able to provide for her two daughters. The shop was painted green and had a strong environmental flavour. It had 15 products that she had made herself, which were based on the cleansing rituals of women that she had observed on her travels. The finance for the shop came from the bank with the hotel as collateral.

By the time her husband returned from his 10-month trek, she had already opened a second store. Family and friends ran the first few shops. However, the demand for her shops and products were great, so they set up a franchise system for The Body Shop even though franchising was a relatively new concept in the UK at the time.

From these humble beginnings, The Body Shop grew and then went public in 1984. Today, The Body Shop has over 1980 stores, more than 77 million customers, in 50 different markets and serving customers in over 25 different languages.

She went on to become one of the most prominent and well respected social entrepreneurs in the world. The Body Shop's Mission Statement sets out a dedication to the pursuit of social and environmental change. The shops and products help communicate human rights and environmental issues. Throughout her career, Roddick continued to campaign tirelessly against environmental and social wrongs around the world.

In 2003, Roddick's achievements were recognized when she was knighted by the Queen, and officially styled as Dame Anita Roddick.

In September 2007, Roddick was taken to St Richard's Hospital in Chichester after complaining of a headache. She suffered a major brain hemorrhage and died soon after.

Roddick used her entrepreneurial abilities to campaign for social and environmental issues while simultaneously bringing sustainable and environmental products to the world market.  Her dedication to social cause and her hard work are truly inspiring.

"To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality."

"I wake up every morning thinking this is my last day. And I jam everything into it. There's no time for mediocrity. This is no damned dress rehearsal."

Anita Roddock

DAY 339 - YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY... SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

Day 339

Christmas is now 4 days away. On Saturday night, we'll leave out a cookie, a tangerine and a glass of milk for Santa Claus and, on Sunday morning, we will wake up and he will have left presents under the tree.  We've been leaving food for Santa for the past 8 years, playing along, making sure not to spill the beans.  But, I have to admit, I've always felt ambivalent about it.

When my brothers and I were young, my parents did the same.  However, the day my eldest brother found out Santa Claus didn't exist, he got very upset.  He didn't understand why my parents had lied to him.  He felt cheated.

So when my children were born, my husband and I contemplated about not making them believe in Santa Claus... But we finally decided against it.

What I find contradictory about the whole idea of Santa Claus, is that we're trying to teach our kids to be honest sincere and truthful while actively participating in an organized lie!  I feel the same way about the Tooth Fairy. 

At the same time, I believe there is something so wonderful about the magic that surrounds childhood.  When you're a child, you have the ability to dream the impossible.  You're not caught up in any type of realistic limitation.  Your imagination can make you colour the sky in green and the sea in pink... As adults, we lose that ability to go beyond what is real...maybe we'd be happier if we didn't.

When my oldest daughter, who is now 10 years old, asked me if Santa really existed, I simply replied that I believed in his spirit and in the magic of Christmas and so, that in fact, it didn't really matter if he existed or not... All right, so I admit it, it's a little cheesy... but at least she didn't feel like the whole thing was this giant lie made up to fool children.  

I don't know what the right thing to do is.  All I do know is that the excitement and wonder in my youngest daughter's eyes as Christmas approaches is priceless.  Last week, she wrote a letter to Santa.  And when, on Monday afternoon, she received his reply by mail, she was jumping for joy.  Also, as I was writing these lines, I overheard her read the letter to my parents on the phone.  So maybe, in the end, the happiness felt while the magic lasts surpasses the disappointment when finding out the truth.  And in that case, wouldn't it all be worth it?

DAY 338 - A WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY

Day 338

Last weekend, we went up to the country with my brother's family.  Initially, I didn't feel like going.  They were announcing a very cold weekend, so I figured we weren't really going to be able to enjoy the outdoors.  I hate being cold, so, when the weather is too cold, I don't stay out very long. Also, going away for a weekend involves a lot of preparation for very little time.  You have to pack your bags, plan all your meals and go buy all necessary ingredients.  It seems like a lot of trouble for only 2 nights.

Despite my initial reticence, we decided to go.  On Thursday night, I prepraed the luggage and, on Friday, having the afternoon off, I went grocery shopping. 

As soon as we arrived to the condo we had rented and unpacked, something magical happened: all the accumulated stress of the past few weeks dissolved.  I felt really relaxed.  And, even though the weather was not perfect, it was sunny and we were able to enjoy the outdoors.  We went for walks, the children built a fort, etc.

The weeks prior to Christmas are always a little hectic for me.  So, taking a break from it all did me good. 

I still have tons of Christmas shopping to do and I know that, between work and taking care of my children, this next week will be incredibly busy.  I could have taken advantage of Saturday and Sunday to accomplish so much.  But, at the same time, I'm back from a 2-day vacation that has helped recharge my batteries.  I completely detached and,  I slept so well while I was there, that I now feel better equipped to face the crazy week that is ahead of me.

Although sometimes an activity that brings you out of your routine doesn't seem worth the effort, forcing yourself to do it can give you the opportunity to experience life in a different way and, for a short period, forget about all the 'have-tos' of your every day life.

DAY 337 - ROMANTIC LOVE: A UNIVERSAL TOPIC

DAY 337

Today, in class, we spoke about romantic love. Every single student had a story to tell.  It was so interesting to see how love and relationships are perceived by people who come from different walks of life and various parts of the world.  Because of the different cultural backgrounds, every story was closely linked with tradition.

In Lebanon and North Africa, a girl would never have sex with her boyfriend before marriage.  If she does, the whole community starts gossiping and she surely becomes an outcast. (It's funny how, still today, it is more scandalous for a girl to sleep around than for a man).   In Latin America, sleeping around is not that common, but couples do have sex before getting married.

People who grew up here in Canada,  on the other hand, find it natural to have one-night stands, to live with someone and even have kids without being married.  One of my Haitian student made us laugh when she told us about the first time she went out to dance at a Club after immigrating to Canada.  She had been dancing all night,  just having wonderful time.  Through the night, she kept exchanging glances with a good looking man.  At the end of the evening, he went up to her and asked her: "Your place or mine?".  She didn't understand what he meant.  When she found out, she was shocked.  How could he have thought she wanted to sleep with him?

As we were talking, I realized that every student in the class was truly involved in the conversation.  Romantic love and relationships are universal topics.  People suffer broken hearts in all corners of the world and everyone is ultimately looking for love, hoping to share their life with someone and increase their happiness.

I walked in class, ready to work on the present perfect progressive.  In the end, I spent three hours animating a discussion on love and relationships, listening to funny and captivating stories. We laughed a lot.  Relationship anecdotes can really be hilarious, that's why most comedians use them in their shows.  As I came out of class, I had a smile on my face.  I truly have the best job in the world.

DAY 336 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN

Day 336

Ludwig Van Beethoven was born on December 16, 1770 in Bonn, Germany.  He grew up in a very unhappy home, being forced to practice the piano by his father, an abusive alcoholic who would punish him when he made mistakes.

On March 26th 1778, at the age of 7 1/2, Beethoven gave his first public performance in Cologne. His father announced that he was 6 years old. Because of this, Beethoven always thought that he was younger than he actually was. Even much later, when he received a copy of his baptism certificate, he thought that it belonged to his brother Ludwig Maria, who was born two years before him, and had died as a child.

By the time he was twelve, Beethoven was earning a living for his family by playing organ and composing. At seventeen, he took off for Vienna. Even though Vienna was to be his home for the rest of his life, this first visit was short. On hearing that his mother was dying, he quickly returned to Bonn. Five years later, he finally moved to Vienna to live and work.

Beethoven never married, even though he proposed to plenty of women who rejected him (he wasn't very attractive and he had a rather nasty temper).

By 1800, Beethoven had become aware of his advancing deafness - surely a most horrible fate for a musician and unendurable to a composer. Agonizing over his fate, Beethoven contemplated suicide, but in the end embraced life, determined to go on composing.

Beethoven's first two symphonies were very much in the same style and form as those of composers that came before him, most notably Franz Joseph Haydn, his teacher. Unhappy with these first compositions,  Beethoven began composing music in a style that had never before been heard. His Symphony no. 3 entitled the "Eroica", was completed in 1804.  This Third Symphony was so different from the ones that had come before that it changed music forever. Its originality and innovation inspired others to change the way that they composed. It was originally dedicated to Napoleon Bonaparte. But when Beethoven heard that Napoleon had proclaimed himself Emperor, he went into a rage and destroyed the title page.

Although Beethoven gradually lost his hearing, he continued composing.    He composed many of the most famous musical works of all time, such as his Ninth Symphony, after he had become totally deaf.  But life wasn't easy for him.  Beethoven was seriously ill. He moved more than 52 times during his final years. He also took it upon himself to get custody of his nephew Karl. He won, but Beethoven pushed his nephew too hard. He tried to mold Karl into what he wanted but it didn't happen.

Beethoven died an in Vienna, Austria on March 26, 1827.  When he died at the age of 56, almost 30,000 people attended his funeral. Unlike some other composers of that time, Beethoven had enjoyed recognition prior to his death.

Beethoven was an innovator, widening the scope of sonata, symphony, concerto, and quartet, and combining vocals and instruments in a new way. His personal life was marked by a struggle against deafness, but that didn't prevent him from becoming one of the greatest composers of all times.

DAY 335 - DETOXIFYING YOUR LIVER

DAY 335

Liver is responsible for purifying our body from all the toxins. It helps break down fats and sugars. By living in polluted cities, going through the stresses of modern life and eating food high in fat and sugar, we're making our liver overwork.   We only have one liver, so it is of the utmost importance to take care of it.

When you go to the health food store, there are many products sold that will help in detoxifying your liver. But before buying any type of detoxifying kit or going on a radical diet, there are foods you can include that will help you cleanse your liver naturally.  Here are 5 of the most effective ones:

Water with lemon juice: Drink plenty of water with the juice of one-half to one lemon squeezed into it. Your body needs water to flush out toxins in your bowel movements and urine. The addition of fresh lemon juice helps to stimulate your liver to produce bile that helps flush out toxins.

Beets: They contain high levels of the antioxidant betaine.  A study published in World Journal of Gastroenterology in March 2010, where betaine was used in liver-diseased mice, supported the use of nutrition as prevention and treatment for liver cancers.. Beet's fiber or pectin is also said to be effective for the absorption of heavy metals and other toxins which are filtered by the liver and passed into the bowels.

Garlic and onions: Eat lots of garlic and onions.  They have the ability to activate liver enzymes that help your body flush out toxins. Your friends might stay away but your liver will love you for it. As a bonus: they kill viruses, bacteria, and fungi and protect against heart disease too.

Leafy Green Vegetables: One of our most powerful allies in cleansing the liver, leafy greens can be eaten raw, cooked or juiced (I,m not sure I would like them so much in a juice). Extremely high in plant chlorophylls, greens literally suck up environmental toxins from the blood stream. With their distinct ability to neutralize heavy metals, chemicals and pesticides, these cleansing foods offer a powerful protective mechanism for the liver.

Turmeric

Turmeric:  Used in Indian cuisine, turmeric adds a yellow-orange color to curry dishes along with a potent healing boost. Turmeric decreases cholesterol levels, lowers inflammation in the body, and protects the liver from free radical damage.  You can add turmeric powder to soups, stews, and curries or supplement with 50 mg of curcumin, turmeric’s active ingredient to bolster your liver’s cleansing abilities.

When the liver doesn't functions well, many health problems can arise (fatigue, excessive weight gain, indigestion, bloating, constipation, lack of concentration, etc).  So, if you want to live an active happy life, you just can’t afford to have a malfunctioning liver.  By adding those foods in your diet and, if you want, going through a more thorough detoxifying process, you can increase your energy and wellbeing.

DAY 334 - HE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES:TEAMWORK IN RELATIONSHIPS

DAY 334

My husband is of Italian origin.  When I first met him and I went over to his house,  I noticed that his mother was in charge of most household chores . My father-in-law helped out a little, but she was the one cooking, doing the laundry, etc.

I've always been a little bit of a feminist.  So, when I saw that, I started to think that maybe my newfound boyfriend would expect me to serve him.  We had been together only a few weeks and I was probably suffering from PMS, so I  started getting upset at him telling him that if he wanted to be with me, he had to understand that I was never going to be his slave... I probably sounded a little crazy, but it didn't scare him away.  He stuck with me.

When we moved in together, I quickly found out that he was not at all as I had feared.  He knew how to cook, clean and take care of a household.  I know I'm one of the lucky ones.  Even in 2011, so many women do all the household chores.  And, it is not only the man's fault.  Often women are too controlling to let their partners take over.  I remember when one of my girlfriend had her children, she wouldn't let her husband change a diaper without looking over his shoulder.  Eventually, the husband stopped.  It can't be fun to be scrutinized when you're trying to figure out your own way of doing things.

Being able to share tasks with my husband is such a great source of happiness.  I know that if I'm not home, dinner will be prepared nonethess, that the house will be tidy (he's actually better than me at keeping it that way) and that laundry will be done.   In the morning, we have a routine that involves both of us getting breakfast done and the kids off to school.  At night, we're both involved in preparing dinner and cleaning up afterwards.  No one is sitting on the couch watching t.v.

I believe teamwork is essential in a relationship.  Otherwise, one person is doing most of the work, and resenting the other person for not doing his or her fair share.   And when that happens, many other problems can arise...

DAY 333 - JUST PUT ON THE RADIO!

Day 333

Whenever my kids watch t.v. or play on the computer for a long time, they become in a bad mood.  I don't know what it does to their brain, but, whatever it is, it isn't very positive.

I don't get to watch much t.v, I'm way too busy.  But when I do it for a an hour or two or when I'm on the computer for too long, I also feel that my mood gets altered in a negative way.  I often end up feeling lethargic, as if doing nothing tires me more out than being inactive.  When I listen to the radio, mostly in my car, it doesn't have the same impact on me.  On the radio, I'll listen to music or interesting talk shows and often feel very stimulated  by what's going on.

As I was doing research on the topic to find out if there was any study done on the topic, I stumbled upon one that was done in Great Britain which found  that radio makes people happier and gives them higher energy levels than TV and the web.

Over 1,000 Britons were polled via their smartphones and asked to record what media they were consuming and to rate their mood and energy levels while doing so. Radio came out top, beating both TV and the web.

Contrarily to what I would have thought, watching TV and surfing the internet apparently also significantly boosts people’s happiness and energy levels.  However, the results didn't come close to the positive effect radio listening has on people's well-being.

The study found that listening to the radio increases people’s happiness levels by nearly twice as much as watching TV does, and gives them four times the amount of perceived energy. The results were similar when comparing the radio with the web, especially when it came to energy. Those listening to radio said that they felt three times more energetic than they did when browsing the net.

So, I guess all technology can somehow bring us happiness.  But I can definitely understand why radio's on top.  It's probably because when you're listening to the radio, you could also be doing something else at the same time.  You can be active physically and mentally.  With t.v and the internet, you're pretty much stuck sitting down on your buttocks, staring at a screen...  

DAY 332 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY: ABBY ENCK, 9 YEARS OLD, SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR

Day 332

At the age of eight, Abby Enck, often accompanied her 6-year old brother, Cameon, born with cerebral palsy, to Lutheran Children's Hospital, in Park Ridge, Illinois, USA.  During her visits, she noticed that other pediatric patients liked to colour, but that many of the crayons were broken.

She came up with the idea of raising money to buy new crayons for them.  Her parents told her that they would match up whatever amount she would be able to raise.

Abby decided to have a lemonade sale. Helped by a friend, she did some internet research and came up with the idea of selling water bottle lemonade kits.  She even thought of a great slogan "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". In that first year, with her sales and her parents donation, she was able to buy 36 boxes of crayons that she donated.

The following year, she created 52 water-bottle lemonade kits that were sold on her behalf by friends and family.  THanks to everybody's help, she was able to buy 1000 crayon boxes.

Finally, last summer, Abby turned to popcorn for her fund-raising initiative. Sales of her popcorn kits, consisting of stove top Jiffy Pop popcorn, raised over $900.  It was used to buy new dvd's to help Lutheran General bring back “movie night” to its pediatric patients.

As adults, when we think of a project, we tend to imagine obstacles everywhere.  We also often make it more complicated than it is.  Children know how to be simple.  Abby saw something that she thought was not right and found a way to fix it!  That's all!

And, with such a simple and genuine gesture, a little 8-year old helped improve the life of many sick children.   It was nothing fancy... just a little idea and the drive to make it happen!

DAY 331 - DO YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT OR DO YOU WANT WHAT YOU HAVE?

Day 331

'What do you want for Christmas?', my children asked me this morning.  'I already have what I want', I replied squeezing them hard!  Come to think about it, though, there are a couple of things I would like to have!  I am not as unmaterialistic as I would like to be!

I know that in order to maximize happiness, I would have to get to that point of wanting what I have instead of always trying to get what I want.  In fact, a research done in 2008 revealed that individuals who want what they have tend to be happier than others.

The study results, detailed in the 2008 April issue of the journal Psychological Science, suggested that one key to achieving greater happiness is to continue wanting the things you have. That is, try to keep your excitement level up about everything you wanted and got.

The problem is, over time, even the greatest purchase becomes one other thing you own.  As excited as you might have been when purchasing it, after a few weeks or months, the excitement eventually subsides and you derive less happiness from that item.

"Simply having a bunch of things is not the key to happiness," said Jeff Larsen, a psychologist at Texas Tech University and author of the research. "Our data show that you also need to appreciate those things you have. It's also important to keep your desire for things you don't own in check."

But how do you achieve that? How do you keep apreciating what you have?  In a book called How to Want What You Have: Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of the Ordinary, Timothy Miller answers that question.

Miller explores ideas based on Eastern philosophy from a modern psychology perspective in order to elaborate three principles aimed at helping us appreciate what we have and renounce those things we don't have.

The first is "Compassion" whereby individuals can see each human being as no better or worse than themselves and, in fact, as similar to themselves. Miller outlines methods to change non-compassionate ways of thinking into more compassionate ways of being.

Next, he considers "Attention" as a skill that enables us to live fully in the present moment while avoiding unnecessary value judgments. Miller concludes with "Gratitude" which he defines as "the intention to count your blessings every day, every minute, while avoiding, whenever possible, the belief that you need or deserve different circumstances."

This is not a book about anti-materialism or voluntary simplicity, as the title might suggest. It’s about how to stop constantly wanting something other than what we have right in front of us.  The author examines how we drive ourselves crazy by focusing so much attention on our human desire for more... more wealth, more stuff, more power, more attention, more sex, even more spirituality or more love! According to Miller, whether what we want is good or bad for us doesn’t really matter; it is the act of focusing on the desire that prevents us from living in the here and now.

In the end, since we can't always get what we want, learning to want what we have might really be the way to become happier!

DAY 330 - THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

Day 330

Yesterday, we went to eat at my parent's house.  After dinner, my kids, nephew and nieces accompanied my father downstairs to put up his famous Christmas village.  Using our old electrical train (which amazingly still functions) to go around the village, my father added different village components, including a church, a merry-go-round, trees and little houses he's made using cardboard.  To make it brighter and more Christmassy, he's also created a whole electrical system so that each house is lit with a different colour light.

The week before, my kids had gone to my parents' house to help them put up the Christmas tree. At our house, we put out the outdoor decorations.

Christmas is truly in the air!  There is no doubt about that.  And I love it all!  Christmas songs included! But what is Christmas all about?  Are we really celebrating the birth of Jesus?

One thing historians agree on, in fact, is that it is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December.  They believe he was born in September.  So why do we celebrate Christ's birthday on December 25th?

In the Northern Hemisphere, the end of December marks the winter solstice and many historians believe that Christmas actually originated from pagan traditions which used to celebrate, at the end of December, when the days start getting longer,  the return of the sun.

But, no matter the origin of the celebration and whether you are a believer or not,  Christmas remains a wonderful time of year (beside the undesirable commercial aspect of it, of course).  It can bring joy and hope to people at a time of year where darkness prevails. It is a time of giving, sharing, loving!   Countless generous acts are performed around Christmastime. From non-perishable food to toys to volunteer work, everyone seems more inclined to give to the less fortunate.

And children have the ability of making it a magical celebration. Since I have my kids, Christmas has taken a whole new meaning.   Every year, as Christmas day approaches, I feel their anticipation and excitement grow day after day.  When I walk in my neighbourhood with them, I see the sparkle in their eyes as they marvel at all the lights and decorations.  And that innocent wonder they have reminds me of my own childhood and helps me look at everything with different eyes, the eyes I tend to forget I have... the ones that marvel at the magic of it all!

For very dear friends of mine and for many other people who have lost a loved one, Christmas will not be the same this year. And I cannot write a post on this celebration without shedding tears thinking of you.  May you find the strength to eventually rediscover the magic and beauty of this time of year.

DAY 329 - TIS THE SEASON TO GET FLABBY, LALALALALALALALA

Day 329

When late fall, early winter comes, I always feel like my waist is slowly expanding as the days go by.  And with the Christmas season right around the corner, I better shape up before it gets out of hand!  There are many reasons why that happens.  First, I'm less active in winter.  Secondly, when the weather is cold, I just want to stay home in the cozy warmth of my house. I get LAZY!  Also, I always feel more tired in winter and when I'm more tired, I tend to eat more.

Genetically speaking, it is likely that humans have an inclination to store more fat when the cold months approach. A lot of animals do this. Additional layers of fat protect the body against the cold temperature.  Originally, this fat might have been used as fuel during the late winter months to early spring when food supply was very low. Because of this, we may tend to unconsciously take foods that have higher fat content at this time, although now we have access to food all year long.

The lack of daylight caused by the shorter daytime on late fall and wintertime could also contribute to winter weight gain.  One of the fastest ways to increase the energy level is to eat foods that are high in carbohydrate and sugar. Since the lost of daylight can affect the mood and energy level, overeating and consuming the wrong foods (sweets and carbs) could be used as a way to regain energy.

The best way to handle this is generally to carefully choose the food we ingest.   We could substitute highly fattening foods with other similar foods that are also high in carbohydrate so that we get what our body craves, without the extra calories. This means choosing food that is low in fat and high in fibre such as wholegrain bread, wholegrain rice, cereals and fresh fruit.

And we shouldn't forget to include exercise despite the weather.  Going to the gym, taking a walk outside with appropriate extra-warm attire, using an exercise dvd in the comfort of the home or getting a stationary bicycle for optional in-house training are all ways to keep the "blubber" away.  In the end, it's easier to prevent gaining weight in winter than to go on a diet in a panic when "bathing suit" season is around the corner.

DAY 328 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - JACQUELINE PINEL TREMBLAY, A VISIONARY

Day 328 

Mural made by my oldest
daughter's class last year.

I love my children's school.  The first time I visited it, I fell in love with it.  The walls were decorated with colourful art work.  At the time, I remember thinking that as a child, I would have loved to attend such a joyful school. 

What is particular about that school is that it has an artistic vocation.  From the age of three, children learn music, painting, theatre and dance.  This great school was created thanks to the vision and the passion of one woman, Jacqueline Pinel Tremblay.

Jacqueline Pinel Tremblay was born in France.  Being interested in art at a young age, she decides to study Fine Arts at the "École nationale supérieure des beaux-arts de Paris". After immigrating to Canada, she continues her studies at the Montreal School of Fine Arts.

      

In 1965, as a graduated fresco painter, Jacqueline Pinel Tremblay decides to found a preschool program that focuses on Fine Arts.  L'École Buissonnière is born.  Very quickly, the school becomes recognized for the quality of its teaching as well as its numerous realizations.  A few years later, due to its growing popularity and in response to the needs of its clientele, theater, music and dance are added to the program.  

In 1994, upon receiving a permit from the Ministry of Education, Mrs. Tremblay decides to extend the artistic educational project of the school to the primary level.

Mural made by my youngest
daughter's class last year.

Today, the school counts about four hundred happy children, from ages three to twelve.  The school's curriculum  includes the arts (music, dance, theatre and painting), the study of different historical periods as well as the traditional academic subjects.   In kindergarten, children learn pre-history, in grade 1 Antiquity, etc., up to grade six where they study the Twentieth Century.  The program integrates  the arts to the general knowledge.  For instance, when, in grade 2,  children study the Middle Ages, they will also look at styles of paintings and listen to music from that era.

Mrs. Jacqueline Tremblay had a vision of creating a program to develop children's minds through creativity.  It could have stayed in her mind... but she made it happen and the result is a school that has slowly expanded and that has now an identity and a soul.

When someone has a spark of genius and he or she takes the time to ignite it, it could create breathtaking fireworks!  That's what happened in the case of Mrs. Tremblay.

DAY 327 - MAKING COMPROMISES

DAY 327

Because I'm in charge of making the schedule for five teachers in the English Department, every time a session begins, I'm confronted with everyone's requests.  I believe that when you're happy, you work better, you radiate positive energy and you help create an enjoyable working environment.  So, I always try to accomodate the teachers as much as possible. 

However, last session, pleasing everyone was simply an impossibility.  In the end, I'm the one who ended up feeling stressed out.  I felt like I was trying to assemble a puzzle that had oversized pieces.  I just couldn't do it.  I did manage to produce a schedule, but once it was done, I realized that not all of the teachers were satisfied with it.

Living or working with people requires making compromises.  You need to give and take.  It's not easy to do.  Everyone wants to pull on their side of the blanket to get the bigger piece, but being like that comes with a price: the price of war!  Developing harmonious relationships requires you to be flexible and accept that you won't always get things your way.

For the next session, I've decided that we were all going to sit down together to draw the first draft of the schedule.  Each of the teachers is going to give his or her requests in order of importance.  If I see that one request goes against another, I'll have them figure it out.  And, I'll go down their list, making sure they all get the same number of requests granted.  That way, it will be fair and they'll all be aware of the concessions the others are making.

Knowing how to compromise is a key component to having healthy relationships, whether it is with co-workers, friends or your partner. However, you always have to make sure it's a compromise that feels right.  A "bad compromise" would be one that makes you change in a way that you wind up becoming less of your full, authentic, thriving self.  While a "good compromise" would help you change in such a way that you grow into your most full, authentic, best self.

Some things are just not worth the fight and rising above your ego by letting go of the control can help you create a happier and more harmonious home and work environment.

"A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece."

Ludwig Erhard 

DAY 326 - LOOKING AT OLD PHOTOS

Day 326

On one of the walls in the back of my house, there are many pictures hanging. Pictures of my husband and I ,  my nephews and nieces, my brothers, my parents, etc. I rarely stop and look at them, but today I did. I looked at an old picture of my husband and I.  A picture of us taken more than 20 years ago. We look really bad. We have the eighties hairdo and style.  I don't know what we were all thinking back then, but nobody really looked that great!

As I was looking at it, I thought of how I enjoy looking at old pictures.  I have many old photo albums and sometimes, my husband, my children and I will sit down together, look at them and reminisce.   We haven't made a 'traditional' album in over 5 years.  Now, we have many virtual albums with hundreds of pictures, but it's not the same.  Call me old fashion, but I really prefer turning pages when I look at photos.   Looking at a slideshow on a computer doesn't give me the same sensation.

My youngest daughter at 2 years old
trying to be cool on the beach.

But no matter what form it takes, I still love it.  Looking at old pictures never fails to make me feel alive.  I'll smile,  laugh and even sometimes cry.  Photos always bring out tons of emotions.

 As I've mentioned before, experiences are more conducive to happiness than objects (see HOW TO SPEND MONEY AND MAXIMIZE HAPPINESS, because they are lived once and can be relived again and again through reminiscence.  Keeping a visual record of those experiences can really help keep all those happy memories and experiences alive.

DAY 325 - TURNING YOUR EYES TOWARDS THE FUTURE

Day 325

Today, one of my students came to see me after class.  She wanted to ask my advice on her career choice.  She is of Lebanese origin.  Her and her husband had to leave Lebanon 15 years ago for security reasons.  She's 34 years old and has four children.  She has never gone back to her country and so, has been far away from her family all that time.

When she started talking to me, she simply wanted to know if I believed she ought to go back to university, which means only graduating in four years, or she should become a secretary, which would only take her a year and a half.

I asked her to think about what SHE REALLY WANTED to do, not taking into account the practical aspect of her decision.  Little did I know that I had just stricken a very sensitive chord.  She began to cry uncontrollably.

For the last 15 years, she hasn't thought about what SHE wants.  Obligations have dictated her every move. She never wanted to leave Lebanon.  She's very close to her family and feels very lonely here, with no siblings or parents to give her support.  She's been putting herself last for more than a decade and so making a decision only based on her needs is a real challenge for her.

She's not the only person who has done that.  Many people sacrifice their lives for others (immigrants in particular tend to sacrifice their life for the wellbeing of their children) only to become resentful and regretful.  My student, at age 34, carries a luggage full of "would haves", "could haves" and "should haves".  She was an actrice in Lebanon, and she loved her life.  She was happy.  Here, she feels worthless, alone, with no real passion for anything.  The problem is, the burden she carries keeps her from going forward. 

Since she cannot change her past, she needs to leave it behind her, where it belongs. However, she does have the power to draw her future.  She still holds the key to it.

Sometimes, people carry such a heavy load that they can no longer see hope for the future.  In those cases, learning to let go of the past and turn to what life can offer you HERE, NOW and in the FUTURE is the only way to find peace of mind and happiness.        

DAY 324 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY - ERIK WEIHENMAYER, THE BLIND MAN WHO CLIMBED THE WORLD'S HIGHEST PEAK

Day 324

Erik Weihenmayer was born in 1969. A slight irregularity in his eyes when he was an infant alerted his parents to seek medical attention. He was diagnosed with retinoscheses, a degenerative eye disorder that progressively unraveled his retinas and claimed his eyesight by the age of thirteen.

His parents made sure their son grew up as normal as possible and taught him to be self-sufficient.  He was determined from an early age to rise above his disability. In his autobiography called  Touch the Top of the World: A Blind Man’s Journey To Climb Farther Than the Eye Can See, he tells how his family played an important role in his battle to break through the barriers of blindness.

Thanks to his relentless determination, Erik became a middle-school teacher , acrobatic skydiver, long distance biker, marathon runner, skier, wrestler, scuba diver, ice climber, and rock climber.   But what caught public attention was when, on May 25 2001, he became the first blind man to  reach the summit of Mount Everest, the world's highest peak and on September 5, 2002, when he stood on top of Mt. Kosciusko in Australia, thereby completing his 7-year quest to climb the Seven Summits - the highest mountains on each of the seven continents, joining only 150 mountaineers ever to do so.

Erik's extraordinary accomplishments have gained him abundant press coverage including repeated visits to many television shows. He has also been featured on the cover of Time magazine, Sports Illustrated, and People.  Erik has won a wide variety of prestigious awards and has been responsible for raising millions of dollars for blind organizations and other worthy causes in the United States and around the world.

Erik is married to his long-time sweetheart Ellie. They were married at 13,000 feet on Kilimanjaro. He lives with his wife and daughter, Emma, in Golden, Colorado.

Many of us struggle to accept things the way they are and are stuck with the belief that some things are just  inaccessible.  Erik has proved us wrong by making the impossible possible.

"One has the ability to do so much with little things. One must succeed in spite of adversity".

Erik Weihenmayer

DAY 323 -DECREASING CORTISOL LEVELS

Day 323


Cortisol is an important hormone in the body, which is activated in response to physical and mental stress.  It is secreted by the adrenal glands and involved, amongst other things, in the regulation of blood pressure, insulin release for blood sugar maintenance,  immune function and inflammatory response.

Normally, it’s present in the body at higher levels in the morning, and at its lowest at night. Small increases of cortisol have some positive effects: it can increase energy, heighten memory function, increase, immunity, etc.    That's why some amount of stress can feel positive and increase productivity.

While cortisol is an important and helpful part of the body’s response to stress, it’s important for the body  to return to its normal state of relaxation following a stressful event. Unfortunately, in our current high-stress culture, the body’s stress response is activated so often that the body doesn’t always have a chance to return to normal, resulting in a state of chronic stress and prolonged exposure to cortisol.

 

This exposure negatively impacts our health. It  increases blood pressure and blood sugar levels, suppresses the immune system, increases abdominal fat, reduces bone density, etc.  It also has an impact on the level of happiness. In fact, a study of nearly 3,000 healthy British adults, lead by Dr. Andrew Steptoe of University College London, found that those who reported being happier had lower levels of cortisol. 

 

Since cortisol plays such an important role in health and happiness, it is essential to try and keep it under control. Because it is produced during times of stress, there are nutritional and lifestyle changes that can be made in order to reduce stress and, in turn, decrease cortisol levels.  Here are a few examples:

- Eat at regular intervals throughout the day. Avoid skipping meals, as this will create a cortisol release.

- Eat a balanced, nutritious diet that contains plenty of fruits and vegetables,  low-glycemic level foods such as eggs,  whole grain products, preferably gluten-free (quinoa, millet, buckwheat, etc.) and foods containing omega 3's such as flaxseed, walnuts, kidney and navy beans, olive oil and fish. 

- Exercise.

- Meditate.

- Take a candle lit bath.  Add 1/2 cup of Epsom salts and 1/2 cup of baking soda to your bathwater. The salts and baking soda help draw toxins out of the body, and the bath helps you relax and de-stress.

- Get a good night's sleep. Be in bed by 10:00 p.m. Shut off the T.V. and the lights. Cortisol levels typically lower naturally at night, but if you don't relax and get to bed on time, they can stay elevated continuously.

- Read.

- Listen to music.

- Take vitamin and mineral supplements, especially Vitamin C, which naturally lowers cortisol levels. Folic acid controls the actions and functions of the adrenal glands, which produce cortisol.

- Laugh and cry - research has shown that both reduce cortisol levels.
- Get a massage.

By following these 'not-so-easy-to-follow' guidelines, you could decrease your cortisol levels and feel healthier and happier.  It's only a matter of making the alleviation of stress a priority.

DAY 322 - DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!

Day 322

One of my friends wants to send her daughter to a public high school called the International School.  To get in, you need to pass an entry exam.  Out of 1000 applications, they only select 300 students.  Last week, my friend received the news that her daughter was not accepted.  She was extremely disappointed.  High school is a very critical time in a child's education and she really wanted her daughter to attend that well reputed school.  Because her daughter is strong academically, she was convinced she would get in, so she doesn't really have a plan B.

As I was talking to my brother about it, he simply said: "She shouldn't take no for an answer.  She should go see the principal of the school and tell him that she won't leave until he says yes.  After a while, he said, she'll say yes just to get rid of her." 

It made me think of how difficult it is to adopt that attitude, but how truly efficient it can be.  I clearly remember two events in my life that show the efficiency of such an attitude.  First, when I applied for my Master's degree.  I initially received a refusal letter because of the bad marks I had gotten in my first year university.  I went to see the Director of the Literary Studies department and convinced him to accept me.  I don't really know how I did it, but I remember that when I walked into his office, I had the intention of coming out with an acceptance, which I did.

The second time happened recently.  At the beginning of each school year, I organize outings at various museums for my students.  When I made the schedule, the coordinator of one of the museums was on vacation.  I assumed that the date I had chosen was available.  When she returned from her holiday, she told me that the date selected wouldn't work out.  It was already booked.  Ordinarily, I would have just tried to move the date.  However, because we had confirmed a visit in another museum on the morning of that same day, which couldn't be moved, I told her it had to be on that day.  I didn't have a choice.  I decided I wasn't going to take no for an answer.  I wasn't aggressive, pushy, impolite or rude.  I was kind, patient, but firm.   In the end, she managed to accomodate me.

Often, we accept things the way they are, even if they displease us, because we lack the courage or the optimism to try to change them.  When I was refused for my Master's and when the museum coordinator said no, I could have walked away and accepted the decisions.  But I chose otherwise.  I chose to fight.  And in both cases, I won the battle.

It's not always the case.  You can't win them all.  Some you'll win and some you'll lose.  However, if you capitulate before even trying to fight, than you're choosing defeat!  Winners are not the ones who never lose, they're the ones who never give up!

DAY 321 - THE POWER OF WORDS

Day 321

When I speak, I don't necessarily always realize the impact my words can have on someone.  Yet,  I recall sentences that were said to me that have marked and even transformed my life.  Words are a powerful weapon which needs to be handled with care.

Words can be used to give love and positive energy to others.  Complimenting, encouraging, being positive can have a tremendous effect on people around you.  And that positive energy you give out always comes back to you.  Whatever you throw into the universe WILL come back.  It's the boomerang effect.  Choosing positive words will therefore definitely impact your life in a positive way.

Words are at the basis of communication.  People often get into conflicts not because of the message they are trying to convey, but because of the words they use.

The problem is that often emotion gets in the way.  If a woman is irritated with her husband because he has left his dirty smelly socks in the middle of the living room, the negative emotion might take over and make the choice of words more challenging.  But taking the time to choose the right words can make the difference between conflict and harmony.

Words can also impact self-confidence and self-esteem.  Using sentences such as "I can't do it" or "I don't know how" or "I'm not that good" all convey a message of failure that could end up affecting someone's ability to pursue a goal.

There are many things in our lives we cannot control.  But we have complete control over the words we use to express ourselves.  So to become happier, why not choose to communicate thoughts, emotions and even frustration with positive words?  Who knows, it might positively impact your wellbeing more than you think!

DAY 320 - INSPIRATIONAL WEDNESDAY: JOHN FON, APU

Day 320

Last Monday, my best friend Christina's father, John, had a heart attack.  He went to the hospital and was told he needed to have a quadruple bypass.  At the age of 77 years old, most people would become fearful, anxious, nervous about the outcome of such a procedure.  After all, it is an open-heart operation.  Not John.  All week, he was actually talking about the fact that he looked forward to getting the surgery done, getting it over with and going on with his life.

I've know John, or as I call him 'Apu', (father in Hungarian), for more than 30 years.  He's like a second father to me.  Growing up,  I remember being fascinated with how incredibly optimistic and positive he was.  He was always extremely encouraging towards his children, always telling them they were the best at everything they did.  This positive outlook on life has served him well in difficult times.

John was born in Hungary in a wealthy Jewish family in 1934.   During Second World War,  luckily, his family was spared.  At the age of 10, John saw his parents being lined up by German soldiers in the courtyard of his apartment building.  They were later on released.  But that event was to mark his life forever.

At the age of 13, John's grandmother, who was very superstitious, told him that above his head she saw a star, and that John would be lucky all his life.  Since that day, he always believed that he was born lucky... and so he has been.

After the war, John played soccer in the Hungarian Junior National team.  He then went on to study Commerce at the University of Budapest.  In 1956, when John was 22 years old, Hungary was invaded by Russia.  To escape the revolution, John, along with his brother, his best friend and his girlfriend, packed his bags and left Hungary in the middle of the night.  They walked through woods filled with Russian soldiers.   In the morning, they arrived unharmed in Austria.  John would later on cross the Atlantic by boat and immigrate to Montreal, Canada.  He later on managed to have his parents come and join him and his brother.

Starting from nothing, John had to work as a taxi driver for several years before finally venturing out in various types of businesses.

In Montreal, he met a lovely Hungarian Jewish girl by the name of Agnes.  He later on married her and had two children, Christina and Ted.

John's road to success was not without hurdles.  He went through ups and downs, like most people.   But he never gave up, always working hard to achieve his goals.  He is a truly self-made successful man whose strength, positivity and determination have been a real source of inspiration to me. 

Last Monday, John successfully underwent a quadruple bypass.  He is still at the hospital, but I'm pretty convinced, that sooner than we think, he'll be back on his feet, doing business as usual.

DAY 319 - HAPPINESS, THE ULTIMATE GOAL

DAY 319

When I opened up my computer this morning, my Dutch friend Erik had posted this image on his Facebook page.

I always tell my children the same thing John Lennon's mother used to tell him.  For me, the most important thing is that my kids grow up to become happy individuals.  It doesn't matter how much money they make, what kind of job they have (as long as they get a good education), how big their house is, as long as they find joy and happiness in whatever career they choose. Because, in the end, isn't  happiness the goal we all ultimately pursue?

Think about all the things you want in life, a good job, a good marriage, a beautiful home, nice vacations, good friends, all in the hope that these things will bring you happiness.

Many people believe that the strongest human characteristic is the survival instinct... Why would there be suicide then?  Why would people suffering from fatal diseases want to die?  To end suffering, be happy and in peace once again.

The problem is that in order to reach that ultimate goal, we often look for the quick fix, the immediate gratification.  By doing so, we may create moments of joy but certainly not long-lasting happiness.

I believe meditation, spirituality, exercise, healthy eating, purpose of life, connecting with friends and family are all ways to achieve that long-lasting bliss.  All the other stuff, all the material objects you can acquire and the great fun you can temporarily have,  is not the core.   It is, nevertheless, icing you can add to flavour your life.

DAY 318 - CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE

Day 318


Today, I began a new session with a new group of students.  It's always a little scary for me.  It's scary because change is always potentially scary.  It requires you to dive into the unknown.  Fortunately though, I've been confronted with this situation for the last 15 years, so the unknown has proven to be a little predictable.  I don't feel that way about everything in my life.

For instance, my husband and I have been living in the same place for 12 years, and for 12 years we've been contemplating the idea of moving. We've always complained about the same issues: we don't have a yard, we don't have a basement, our street looks like a war zone after every snow storm, we only have two bedrooms, etc. But we haven't moved because we love being able to walk everywhere, do our errands by foot.  We live four blocks away from my children's school (a five-minute walk), the drugstore is around the corner, the supermarket three blocks away and my favorite coffee shop a block away. How could we give all of that up?

Human beings find security in consistency and habit. Our present home gives us just that. The process of changing homes would potentially shake that stability and could become a great source of stress. That's why most people like everything to remain the same.  That way calm and peace prevails in their lives, and they don't have to think too hard.  Change always stirs things up and the outcome is never really predictable.

In truth, it all comes down to fear, and especially fear of the unknown. Someone could be in a miserable marriage and stay because, although they feel miserable, they're scared of the aftermath.  The same goes for changing jobs, houses and for some people, it even applies to vacation destinations.

Venturing out, getting out of your comfort zone,  embracing change requires courage, action-oriented decision-making and determination.  Some people thrive on those emotions... they're adventurous by nature, so for them change is not really an issue.  I have friends like that, John and Christina, for instance.

The fact of the matter is, change is INEVITABLE.  At this very instant, your cells are transforming.  Life is a cycle of constant transformations.  Nature changes from season to season.  Every second people are born and people die.

So, since change will occur no matter what, why not welcome and embrace change as being an incredible opportunity to grow, learn and experience life in a different way, whether the change is imposed or chosen.

"The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble."
 Henry Miller

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.
Author Unknown

Change always comes bearing gifts.
Price Pritchett