DAY 301 - WHO ARE YOU?

DAY 301

So, every book about happiness tells you that to be happy you need to go beyond yourself, by giving to others, maybe by volunteering your time.

I must confess: volunteer work (in the classical sense of the word) is not something I have been inclined to do in my life.  Sure, I have volunteered my time for my children by actively being involved in their activities (for instance, when they were doing skating shows and the organization needed volunteer parents to help out).  But besides that, I can't say I've been out there volunteering for a cause I believe in.

I have been telling myself that I should do it!  But then again, I wonder!  Maybe my way of giving to others is different.  Maybe, this blog (which is done on a voluntary basis and takes up a lot of my time), my teaching, the book club I organized are all ways I have used to go beyond myself!  Maybe, there isn't only one way of doing things.

The problem with having a list of things you SHOULD do in order to be happy is that it does not take into consideration your individual personality.  Before trying to transform yourself to be happier, you need to know yourself and to accept who you are.

When we had our last book club meeting, one of my friends asked everyone if the fact that she wanted to go out and party at the age of 50 was a sign of immaturity.  Perhaps, she said, she should grow up and stop looking for excitement!  Of course, my first question to her was: "Does it make you happy?"

All preconceived notions we have of what "we should do", and "how we should act", make us become critical towards ourselves and question our choices.

But isn't that kind of reflection counter-productive.  If the objective is trying to increase happiness, why not start by knowing and accepting who you are.  If my friend feels happy going out to party, who says she shouldn't?

That doesn't mean you should give in to your addictive personality, just because "that's the way you are", or that you should never try to improve yourself.  It just means that you need to START with who you are and build from there.  It means that all your choices have to take into account and respect your strengths and weaknesses!

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