Yesterday, I attended a conference on non-verbal communication or, as specialists call it, synergology. Synergology was created by Philippe Turchet, a French psychologist, in 1995. It aims at decoding body language in order to improve communication. It is based on the fact that 55% of communication is non-verbal (the tone of voice accounts for 43% and words for 7%). Body language mirrors our emotions and, since it is unconscious, it never lies.
We are all able to decode obvious emotions. You don't really need any type of training to see when someone is sad, surprised, disgusted, fearful, angry or happy. The facial expressions and posture will speak for themselves. However, there are micro-movements that were carefully analyzed by Turchet that can indicate that you are lying, trying to seduce, getting emotional, etc. It is through the analysis of every hand, arm, leg, facial movement (big or small), that the synergologist can decipher emotion.
Synergology is an extremely complex science that takes years to master. But with the two hour-session I attended, I was able to get a glimpse of information. Here are some of the things I discovered:
First, it is important to know that, according to synergology, the left side of the body is linked to emotions while the right side is linked to the rational mind. Therefore, someone presenting the right side, tilting the head to the right or using the right hand is actually delivering a rational message while presenting the left side, tilting the head to the left or using the left hand means the speaker is delivering an emotional message.
I also leaned that if someone is:
Lying
- She will blink more quickly.
- She will stare to the left to try to invent a story and feed the conversation.
- She will scratch his right nostril. (Apparently, when Clinton denied his affair with Monica Lewinski, he scratched his nose three times).
Interested in what you are saying
- She will listen with half-open lips.
- She will blink at a regular rhythm.
- On the other hand, someone who has a a fixed glare is not really listening to you.
Uncomfortable with you
- She will tend to continuously clear her throat.
- She will have a nervous laugh.
Trying to seduce you
- Her head will slightly tilt to the left
- Her left eye will dilate.
- She will pass her hand on her hair.
Most of us could probably instinctively read body language. However, sometimes we misjudge people's reactions. For instance, I have noticed that one of my colleagues tends to clear her throat a lot around me, which I actually saw as a sign of irritation. According to synergology, it's because I make her nervous.
Communication is at the basis of all relationships, so the better equipped we are, the better our relationships are going to be. Non-verbal communication is not a magic wand, but it is another technique you can use to improve the way you relate to others.
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
If you like this post, pass it along. To receive posts as they're being published, you can either send me an e-mail at alina500daystohappiness@hotmail.com or join the facebook group: 500daystohappiness.
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