Tuesday, February 8, 2011

DAY 134 - BE YOURSELF...OR ELSE

Day 134

It’s not always easy to be yourself.  Sure, sometimes we tend to slightly change our behaviour depending on the person we’re talking to.  If your are talking with your boss, a colleague, a friend, a close relative or a child, you might use different characteristics of your personality in order to adapt to the person and the situation. 

I always know whom my husband is talking to on the phone just by the tone of his voice and his general attitude.  I believe it is perfectly natural to do that. It becomes problematic if you stop being yourself and you take on a role that has little or nothing to do with who you really are. 

It’s definitely happened to me in the past.  When I was studying at University, I had a crush on this professor who was young, hip and extremely bright.  I remember once, being invited to a cocktail party that I knew he was also going to attend.  I carefully chose my clothes, fixed my hair and waited with great anticipation the moment to go.

For some silly reason, he intimidated me.  When I got to the party, he was already talking with a bunch of other students, so I started socializing, waiting impatiently for the moment to approach him. 

At a certain point, he was standing by himself, so I went up to him, and started acting like a pretty doll with no brain, giggling and uttering uninteresting comments.  I kept having out of body experiences, talking to myself, saying:  "What are you doing?  Stop laughing! Be yourself now!  Enough!"  But no matter what I was telling myself, I felt like I was getting buried deeper and deeper into the hole of humiliation.  I had become a person I could not recognize.  

I know I sometimes forget to be myself, maybe for fear of disappointing others or, as it was in that case, because I want to impress someone.  The truth of the matter is, I feel much happier when I am myself.  And, in order to do so, all I need to do is remind myself of that fact, especially when I know I will be in a situation that could potentially have me become someone I am not.     

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a young, hip, and extremely bright teacher, causing this reaction in young girls is what makes me happy. Who am I?

Unknown said...

You define yourself so well, my dear Gianni!