It’s not always easy to be yourself. Sure, sometimes we tend to slightly change our behaviour depending on the person we’re talking to. If your are talking with your boss, a colleague, a friend, a close relative or a child, you might use different characteristics of your personality in order to adapt to the person and the situation.
I always know whom my husband is talking to on the phone just by the tone of his voice and his general attitude. I believe it is perfectly natural to do that. It becomes problematic if you stop being yourself and you take on a role that has little or nothing to do with who you really are.
It’s definitely happened to me in the past. When I was studying at University, I had a crush on this professor who was young, hip and extremely bright. I remember once, being invited to a cocktail party that I knew he was also going to attend. I carefully chose my clothes, fixed my hair and waited with great anticipation the moment to go.
For some silly reason, he intimidated me. When I got to the party, he was already talking with a bunch of other students, so I started socializing, waiting impatiently for the moment to approach him.
At a certain point, he was standing by himself, so I went up to him, and started acting like a pretty doll with no brain, giggling and uttering uninteresting comments. I kept having out of body experiences, talking to myself, saying: "What are you doing? Stop laughing! Be yourself now! Enough!" But no matter what I was telling myself, I felt like I was getting buried deeper and deeper into the hole of humiliation. I had become a person I could not recognize.
I know I sometimes forget to be myself, maybe for fear of disappointing others or, as it was in that case, because I want to impress someone. The truth of the matter is, I feel much happier when I am myself. And, in order to do so, all I need to do is remind myself of that fact, especially when I know I will be in a situation that could potentially have me become someone I am not.
2 comments:
As a young, hip, and extremely bright teacher, causing this reaction in young girls is what makes me happy. Who am I?
You define yourself so well, my dear Gianni!
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