Day 12
In class, on Monday morning, I asked my students to describe their weekend with one adjective. One of my students answered « Interesting ». When I asked her why, she told us, with her Venezuelan accent: “ It’s the first time that I shared a mil with a doc”. I repeated what I thought she had said: “ You ate duck for the first time, Rebecca?” And then, she explained: She was invited over for dinner at a friend’s house and at the table; there were five guests and a dog. What she had meant to say was: “It was the first time I shared a meal with a dog.” I couldn’t believe it. Now, I love animals, but to have the dog actually have a seat at the dining room table goes beyond what I can comprehend. At the same time, it made me think of how animals can help human beings in their quest for happiness.
When I was young, I desperately wanted to own a pet. For my parents, it was out of the question. My mother hated cats; my father thought dogs were smelly, so my two brothers and I were never able to convince them to get an animal. When I moved out of my parents’ house, the idea of getting a pet never occurred to me. I had never owned one, so I didn’t know what I was missing. That is, of course, until my children started begging us for one. Last Christmas, we gave in. Santa Claus brought them a tiny little kitten. When I went to get her with my cousin and saw her little face, I have to admit I had tears in my eyes. She was so cute and helpless. When I arrived home with the kitten, my kids were jumping with joy. Since that day, I can see the effect she has had on my children. When they come back from school, they can’t wait to see her. When they’re sad, they take her, pet her and somehow it makes them feel better... They talk to her, share their secrets with her... She has become their confidant, their playmate!
In a world where people suffer more and more from loneliness, pets can make a difference. They can give you unconditional love and companionship. A study conducted with the elderly concluded that those who possessed an animal had acquired the ability to fight loneliness. And therefore were enjoying life in a more positive way. It has also been proven that owning an animal has health benefits, such as increasing the immune system.
Animals will never replace human beings and they certainly shouldn’t be sitting at the dining room table. However, they definitely have the ability of providing valuable companionship, especially on those dark, gloomy and lonely winter days!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
DAY 11 - CREATING A CLUTTER-FREE LIVING SPACE
DAY 11
Feng Shui, pronounced “foong-shway”, is the ancient Chinese art of harnessing the heavens and the earth to bring health, wealth and good fortune. The main idea behind Feng Shui is to allow beneficial energy or, as Chinese people call it, “ch’i” (which literally means cosmic breath), to flow into your house. To really apply Feng Shui teachings, you would probably have to demolish your house and rebuild it, reposition your rooms and change your furniture and décor, which would probably end up ruining you! Although you might not have the means to do that, there might still be some elements you could apply from the teachings of Feng Shui, in order to improve your life (love life, financial situation, social life, career, etc.). That is, of course, if you believe in it!
When I first got interested in Feng Shui, a couple of years ago, I obsessed with it. I mapped my house, changed my furniture around, redecorated, repainted the wall. Since that first encounter with this ancient belief, I’ve calmed down. The fact is no one can deny that every single space holds some kind of energy. When you walk into a house, you can feel happiness, sadness, confusion, stress, etc. Energy surrounds us at all times.
When I went to Egypt with my husband a couple of years ago, I remember being invited for dinner at my aunt’s house. Now, you need to know that Egyptians love knick-knacks, little decoration pieces that gather dust. Her house was full of stuff: furniture, knick-knacks, tapestries, everywhere you looked, there was something. When we left her house, I was so tired...I felt like I had been depleted of my energy for lack of breathing space. Whenever I am working in a space that is messy, I can’t think as clearly. Rest assured, I’m far from being a clean freak, ask my husband! But I have to say that I really feel as though I’m breathing more calmly and more deeply, when everything around me is in order. And yes, probably energy, and why not the positive cosmic breath, flows better when you eliminate clutter...
So today, I went on a THROWING SPREE. Although it was hard for me to get rid of some of the things I threw out, I thought that if I didn’t remember I owned it in the first place, it probably wasn't that important! It really felt like I was getting an exfoliation treatment, shedding old skin to get a new, softer complexion. It hurt a little, I had some doubt, but in the end, I feel renewed. And as I’m writing these lines in my new clutter-free living space, one question remains: Will I be able to keep it that way, or will I soon start accumulating junk again?
Feng Shui, pronounced “foong-shway”, is the ancient Chinese art of harnessing the heavens and the earth to bring health, wealth and good fortune. The main idea behind Feng Shui is to allow beneficial energy or, as Chinese people call it, “ch’i” (which literally means cosmic breath), to flow into your house. To really apply Feng Shui teachings, you would probably have to demolish your house and rebuild it, reposition your rooms and change your furniture and décor, which would probably end up ruining you! Although you might not have the means to do that, there might still be some elements you could apply from the teachings of Feng Shui, in order to improve your life (love life, financial situation, social life, career, etc.). That is, of course, if you believe in it!
When I first got interested in Feng Shui, a couple of years ago, I obsessed with it. I mapped my house, changed my furniture around, redecorated, repainted the wall. Since that first encounter with this ancient belief, I’ve calmed down. The fact is no one can deny that every single space holds some kind of energy. When you walk into a house, you can feel happiness, sadness, confusion, stress, etc. Energy surrounds us at all times.
When I went to Egypt with my husband a couple of years ago, I remember being invited for dinner at my aunt’s house. Now, you need to know that Egyptians love knick-knacks, little decoration pieces that gather dust. Her house was full of stuff: furniture, knick-knacks, tapestries, everywhere you looked, there was something. When we left her house, I was so tired...I felt like I had been depleted of my energy for lack of breathing space. Whenever I am working in a space that is messy, I can’t think as clearly. Rest assured, I’m far from being a clean freak, ask my husband! But I have to say that I really feel as though I’m breathing more calmly and more deeply, when everything around me is in order. And yes, probably energy, and why not the positive cosmic breath, flows better when you eliminate clutter...
So today, I went on a THROWING SPREE. Although it was hard for me to get rid of some of the things I threw out, I thought that if I didn’t remember I owned it in the first place, it probably wasn't that important! It really felt like I was getting an exfoliation treatment, shedding old skin to get a new, softer complexion. It hurt a little, I had some doubt, but in the end, I feel renewed. And as I’m writing these lines in my new clutter-free living space, one question remains: Will I be able to keep it that way, or will I soon start accumulating junk again?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
DAY 10 - THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP
DAY 10
Two parking tickets in 5 days...104 dollars of punishment for being distracted. That part of me, I know, and much to my husband’s dismay, I have inherited from my father. Countless times, when we were young, he would go to work and forget to lock the door. I remember my mother getting so angry with him. Once, something really funny happened to him. He was stopped at a red light. The light turned green, he didn’t move, then it turned yellow, red and green again. The guy behind him was honking, but my father was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear anything. That guy finally went up to knock on my father’s window. He didn’t punch him, although with driver’s rage nowadays he could have done that, he simply said: « Are you waiting for a special color? »
So when I went to my car this morning and saw my second parking ticket, I was so upset. I had gone out of my house early in the morning, to move my car away from a no-parking zone. I just hadn’t realized I had parked it in front of a fire hydrant. With my newfound spirituality, I wondered what the Universe was trying to tell me: «Focus on what you do!», «Money is not all that important!» «If you give your money to the city, you will indirectly contribute to the building of social housing, so really, this is a good deed». Then, as I was telling my best friend what had happened to me, she said: «You know what, these things happen to you because of one of your great qualities: you’re a dreamer, a free spirit!» She made me feel so good, I was almost happy about my ticket! And this made me think of how lucky I was to have her as a best friend. She always has such a positive outlook on life, not that she never feels sad or depressed, but deep down, her nature is one of genuine optimism. Something I could definitely learn from.
I am still poorer today than I was yesterday, but this little event showed me once more how fortunate I am to have such great friends. Will I be happy to write a 104-dollar check to the City? Let me meditate on that!
Two parking tickets in 5 days...104 dollars of punishment for being distracted. That part of me, I know, and much to my husband’s dismay, I have inherited from my father. Countless times, when we were young, he would go to work and forget to lock the door. I remember my mother getting so angry with him. Once, something really funny happened to him. He was stopped at a red light. The light turned green, he didn’t move, then it turned yellow, red and green again. The guy behind him was honking, but my father was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear anything. That guy finally went up to knock on my father’s window. He didn’t punch him, although with driver’s rage nowadays he could have done that, he simply said: « Are you waiting for a special color? »
So when I went to my car this morning and saw my second parking ticket, I was so upset. I had gone out of my house early in the morning, to move my car away from a no-parking zone. I just hadn’t realized I had parked it in front of a fire hydrant. With my newfound spirituality, I wondered what the Universe was trying to tell me: «Focus on what you do!», «Money is not all that important!» «If you give your money to the city, you will indirectly contribute to the building of social housing, so really, this is a good deed». Then, as I was telling my best friend what had happened to me, she said: «You know what, these things happen to you because of one of your great qualities: you’re a dreamer, a free spirit!» She made me feel so good, I was almost happy about my ticket! And this made me think of how lucky I was to have her as a best friend. She always has such a positive outlook on life, not that she never feels sad or depressed, but deep down, her nature is one of genuine optimism. Something I could definitely learn from.
I am still poorer today than I was yesterday, but this little event showed me once more how fortunate I am to have such great friends. Will I be happy to write a 104-dollar check to the City? Let me meditate on that!
Monday, September 27, 2010
DAY 9 - SEEKING PERFECTION, A MODERN DISEASE
DAY 9
One of my students walked in today looking happier than usual. She had a big smile on her face and when I mentioned it, she explained that she had begun a self-expression class and that she felt it would really improve her communication skills. She is shy and has trouble expressing her feelings, so she hopes that class will help her overcome her timidity and give her more self-confidence. And this is symptomatic of modern times. We all suffer from some kind of psychological problem. As a matter of fact, most of my friends have either gone through therapy, are following a therapy or are thinking about following a therapy. I have never seen a therapist, not because I have never thought of it, but because I suffer from chronic procrastination. And this is the one thing I have been putting off for 25 years.
The old fashion way of dealing with problems is to just pretend they’re not there. A friend of mine told me a story that truly illustrates that. When she was young and still living at her parents house, she ended her five-year relationship with her boyfriend. She went into a crying fit. She was in her bedroom, all curled up, complaisant in her misery. When her hard-working Italian father walked in and saw her, he said: “Just be glad you know what you don’t want! Now get up, wipe your eyes and move on!’ It might seem a little harsh, but our generation probably has the tendency of doing too much of the opposite. We dwell on problems. We overanalyze situations and look at our ego in all possible angles just so we can get a real deep sense of who we really are! I’m sure that when they were growing up, none my parents’ friends were seeing a therapist. It’s not that people didn’t have problems, but they didn’t expect as much out of life. They got married, had a family, took care of their children and that was it!
So maybe we expect too much from life and, if we were able to be content with what we have, instead of always wanting more, we’d be happier! The higher the expectations, the higher the disappointment... The problem is, we want perfect lives: we want a perfect partner, perfect children who are perfect in everything, a perfect career, a perfect house, a perfect body, a perfect financial situation, a perfect social life. We want to be perfect spouses, perfect parents, perfect employees, and perfect hosts. No wonder we’re all in therapy! How can we put up with all this pressure? The thing is human beings are flawed and that’s what makes us so interesting! So, in order to be happy, we need to remember that there is no race to be won, only a life to be lived!!!!
One of my students walked in today looking happier than usual. She had a big smile on her face and when I mentioned it, she explained that she had begun a self-expression class and that she felt it would really improve her communication skills. She is shy and has trouble expressing her feelings, so she hopes that class will help her overcome her timidity and give her more self-confidence. And this is symptomatic of modern times. We all suffer from some kind of psychological problem. As a matter of fact, most of my friends have either gone through therapy, are following a therapy or are thinking about following a therapy. I have never seen a therapist, not because I have never thought of it, but because I suffer from chronic procrastination. And this is the one thing I have been putting off for 25 years.
The old fashion way of dealing with problems is to just pretend they’re not there. A friend of mine told me a story that truly illustrates that. When she was young and still living at her parents house, she ended her five-year relationship with her boyfriend. She went into a crying fit. She was in her bedroom, all curled up, complaisant in her misery. When her hard-working Italian father walked in and saw her, he said: “Just be glad you know what you don’t want! Now get up, wipe your eyes and move on!’ It might seem a little harsh, but our generation probably has the tendency of doing too much of the opposite. We dwell on problems. We overanalyze situations and look at our ego in all possible angles just so we can get a real deep sense of who we really are! I’m sure that when they were growing up, none my parents’ friends were seeing a therapist. It’s not that people didn’t have problems, but they didn’t expect as much out of life. They got married, had a family, took care of their children and that was it!
So maybe we expect too much from life and, if we were able to be content with what we have, instead of always wanting more, we’d be happier! The higher the expectations, the higher the disappointment... The problem is, we want perfect lives: we want a perfect partner, perfect children who are perfect in everything, a perfect career, a perfect house, a perfect body, a perfect financial situation, a perfect social life. We want to be perfect spouses, perfect parents, perfect employees, and perfect hosts. No wonder we’re all in therapy! How can we put up with all this pressure? The thing is human beings are flawed and that’s what makes us so interesting! So, in order to be happy, we need to remember that there is no race to be won, only a life to be lived!!!!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
DAY 8 -THE PLEASURE OF GIVING
Day 8
When I got back today, a surprise was awaiting me in front of my doorstep.... a beautiful plant with gorgeous purple flowers. The sender???? Anonymous… There was no card, no explanation, just the flowers. They weren’t even wrapped! I loved it. I loved the mystery of it. My husband and I tried to figure out who it could be, but we really couldn’t. Now that’s true genuine giving! How selfless is it to give without expecting any kind of recognition or gratitude... even if it is just a word such as thank you? Most of us love giving. But why? Who does giving benefit more? The giver or the receiver? Do we give to make others happy or because it brings us happiness? Without the rewarding feeling we have when we offer a present, would we give? Is there such a thing as pure altruism?
I, for one, get more joy out of giving than receiving! I love the process of looking for the perfect present. On the other hand, when I receive presents, although I cannot say I don’t like it, I always get a little nervous. I am so transparent that I’m always afraid that my face will reveal my true feelings.
I remember once, when I was a teenager, my mother, who is far more eccentric than I am in her wardrobe, had offered me the most hideous flowery shiny dress. Now you need to know that when I was a teenager, I was COOL!!!!! I wore ripped jeans, converse running shoes and despised anything that didn’t fit that rebel image. It was Christmas Eve and I had drunk two glasses of wine. I was a little tipsy, and so was my mother. When I opened the present, I said: “ Oh my god, it’s so ugly!!!” And I started laughing with an uncontrollable laugh!!! I just couldn’t help it! Thank god, my mother has an incredible sense of humor, so she started laughing as hard as me! We were in stitches. Needless to say, I returned the dress… but I never forgot the laughter.
The pleasure felt when giving and receiving presents comes not only from the moment shared when the present is exchanged, but also from the lasting memory it creates! Who doesn’t remember one or several gifts they’ve received or given … and the joy they felt at that particular moment? So… is it really important to know if giving is a truly altruistic gesture? I don’t think so! Not if it is something that gives you a taste of happiness that you can revisit in memory every little once in a while!
When I got back today, a surprise was awaiting me in front of my doorstep.... a beautiful plant with gorgeous purple flowers. The sender???? Anonymous… There was no card, no explanation, just the flowers. They weren’t even wrapped! I loved it. I loved the mystery of it. My husband and I tried to figure out who it could be, but we really couldn’t. Now that’s true genuine giving! How selfless is it to give without expecting any kind of recognition or gratitude... even if it is just a word such as thank you? Most of us love giving. But why? Who does giving benefit more? The giver or the receiver? Do we give to make others happy or because it brings us happiness? Without the rewarding feeling we have when we offer a present, would we give? Is there such a thing as pure altruism?
I, for one, get more joy out of giving than receiving! I love the process of looking for the perfect present. On the other hand, when I receive presents, although I cannot say I don’t like it, I always get a little nervous. I am so transparent that I’m always afraid that my face will reveal my true feelings.
I remember once, when I was a teenager, my mother, who is far more eccentric than I am in her wardrobe, had offered me the most hideous flowery shiny dress. Now you need to know that when I was a teenager, I was COOL!!!!! I wore ripped jeans, converse running shoes and despised anything that didn’t fit that rebel image. It was Christmas Eve and I had drunk two glasses of wine. I was a little tipsy, and so was my mother. When I opened the present, I said: “ Oh my god, it’s so ugly!!!” And I started laughing with an uncontrollable laugh!!! I just couldn’t help it! Thank god, my mother has an incredible sense of humor, so she started laughing as hard as me! We were in stitches. Needless to say, I returned the dress… but I never forgot the laughter.
The pleasure felt when giving and receiving presents comes not only from the moment shared when the present is exchanged, but also from the lasting memory it creates! Who doesn’t remember one or several gifts they’ve received or given … and the joy they felt at that particular moment? So… is it really important to know if giving is a truly altruistic gesture? I don’t think so! Not if it is something that gives you a taste of happiness that you can revisit in memory every little once in a while!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
DAY 7 - PRAISING IGNORANCE
Day 7
“Two car bombs in Iraq capital kill 12, wound dozens”
“Family mourns father of 3 killed in crash”
“Police make second arrest in relation to gang rape that went viral on Internet”
When I woke up this morning and turned on my computer to check my e-mail, those were the headlines! Why in the world, would anyone be interested in reading those articles? Isn’t there enough suffering around us as it is? Wouldn’t you prefer to read headlines like these:
“6 year-old girl from Ottawa, Canada, succeeds in learning how to tie her shoelaces in less than 5 minutes”
“12 year-old boy gets courage to run as class president and wins election, parents proud as hell”
“40 year-old woman finally registers to Indian cooking class, after suffering from procrastination for years”
I come from a family that believes you should always be informed of international, national and local news. I remember, when I was young, falling asleep to the sound of the voice of a famous news anchor. I developed political opinions at a very young age. As an adult, I’ve always read the newspaper and watched the evening news… until last year. That’s when I realized that I would be going to bed with all these depressing thoughts and images. I would then wake up in the middle of the night, sweating. It could have been a sign of early menopause, but I still had my period regularly, every darn month, so I knew it wasn’t. Right then and there, I decided I wouldn’t watch the evening news anymore. I still read the newspaper, but sometimes just the headlines. I don’t want to be spending more than five minutes on any given bad news. With the newspaper, I have control!
Some may think that by hiding my head in the sand, I’m choosing ignorance over knowledge… but isn’t ignorance bliss?
“Two car bombs in Iraq capital kill 12, wound dozens”
“Family mourns father of 3 killed in crash”
“Police make second arrest in relation to gang rape that went viral on Internet”
When I woke up this morning and turned on my computer to check my e-mail, those were the headlines! Why in the world, would anyone be interested in reading those articles? Isn’t there enough suffering around us as it is? Wouldn’t you prefer to read headlines like these:
“6 year-old girl from Ottawa, Canada, succeeds in learning how to tie her shoelaces in less than 5 minutes”
“12 year-old boy gets courage to run as class president and wins election, parents proud as hell”
“40 year-old woman finally registers to Indian cooking class, after suffering from procrastination for years”
I come from a family that believes you should always be informed of international, national and local news. I remember, when I was young, falling asleep to the sound of the voice of a famous news anchor. I developed political opinions at a very young age. As an adult, I’ve always read the newspaper and watched the evening news… until last year. That’s when I realized that I would be going to bed with all these depressing thoughts and images. I would then wake up in the middle of the night, sweating. It could have been a sign of early menopause, but I still had my period regularly, every darn month, so I knew it wasn’t. Right then and there, I decided I wouldn’t watch the evening news anymore. I still read the newspaper, but sometimes just the headlines. I don’t want to be spending more than five minutes on any given bad news. With the newspaper, I have control!
Some may think that by hiding my head in the sand, I’m choosing ignorance over knowledge… but isn’t ignorance bliss?
Friday, September 24, 2010
DAY 6 - IMPERMANENCE AND WORLDLY PLEASURES
Day 6
I love the little pleasures of life… Good food, good friends, good wine… As a matter of fact, last night, I went out with my closest friends to our usual hangout, a neighborhood restaurant that we love to go to. As usual, we laughed, drank and talked… As I was looking at them, I thought, maybe this is happiness. An accumulation of little sparks of joy… But what about the rest of the time? What about the times when we’re not together? What about the times when we are by ourselves with no entertainment, in silence, in solitude, faced with our deepest fears? Yesterday evening came to an end, as everything else eventually ends! Every worldly pleasure is impermanent. Buddhists believe that the ignorance of this impermanence is actually the cause of all suffering. We give so much value to the worldly pleasures that when we realize their impermanence, we are doomed to suffer. Our thirst to fulfill our desires puts us in a constant state of dissatisfaction, always wanting more.
Well… I love warm baths, melted chocolate with bananas, being with my kids, having dinner parties, laughing, singing, writing, painting, dancing, playing charades, teaching, discovering new places, meeting new people, going to museums, going to the movies, making crank calls (I haven’t done it since I was 16, but I used to love it), snooping into people’s lives through Facebook, listening to music, reading, love, passionate embraces… I don’t care that all these things are impermanent. For now I am fortunate enough to appreciate what life has to offer me. The problem is, the fear of impermanence can sometimes create anxiety. Because the fact the impermanence of all these little worldly pleasures is nothing compared to the impermanence of life itself! Accepting impermanence, embracing it, as being part of the cycle of life and working on giving life a meaning through some sort of spirituality, is what seems necessary to achieve lasting and profound happiness.
Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting that they pass away. Aitken Roshi
I love the little pleasures of life… Good food, good friends, good wine… As a matter of fact, last night, I went out with my closest friends to our usual hangout, a neighborhood restaurant that we love to go to. As usual, we laughed, drank and talked… As I was looking at them, I thought, maybe this is happiness. An accumulation of little sparks of joy… But what about the rest of the time? What about the times when we’re not together? What about the times when we are by ourselves with no entertainment, in silence, in solitude, faced with our deepest fears? Yesterday evening came to an end, as everything else eventually ends! Every worldly pleasure is impermanent. Buddhists believe that the ignorance of this impermanence is actually the cause of all suffering. We give so much value to the worldly pleasures that when we realize their impermanence, we are doomed to suffer. Our thirst to fulfill our desires puts us in a constant state of dissatisfaction, always wanting more.
Well… I love warm baths, melted chocolate with bananas, being with my kids, having dinner parties, laughing, singing, writing, painting, dancing, playing charades, teaching, discovering new places, meeting new people, going to museums, going to the movies, making crank calls (I haven’t done it since I was 16, but I used to love it), snooping into people’s lives through Facebook, listening to music, reading, love, passionate embraces… I don’t care that all these things are impermanent. For now I am fortunate enough to appreciate what life has to offer me. The problem is, the fear of impermanence can sometimes create anxiety. Because the fact the impermanence of all these little worldly pleasures is nothing compared to the impermanence of life itself! Accepting impermanence, embracing it, as being part of the cycle of life and working on giving life a meaning through some sort of spirituality, is what seems necessary to achieve lasting and profound happiness.
Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting that they pass away. Aitken Roshi
Thursday, September 23, 2010
DAY 5 - MEDITATION
Day 5
We all know it through the reading of spiritual books, meditation can definitely help you in your search for inner peace and happiness. So, this morning when I woke up, I decided that today was the first day of a daily meditation routine. You have to know that I have unsuccessfully tried meditation in the past, but this morning I was going to try something different. I’ve been reading, like everybody else these days, Eat, Pray and Love. When Liz, the main character is in Bali, she meets a medicine man who tells her to meditate by simply sitting still with a smile on her face, no mantra or rhythmic breathing, just a smile. He tells her that by doing so, she will attract good energy.
I need good energy. I want good energy. So, I sat down on my living room floor with all good intentions. I crossed my legs, closed my eyes and started smiling. Then, something happened, and no, it wasn’t enlightenment! I started thinking… That’s what always happens to me when I try to meditate. I start thinking… but this time I was looking at myself sitting down with a stupid fake smile painted on my face. I thought, this is not a real smile…. Let me try to make it more real… still not real enough…. Let me think of something funny… But if I start thinking too much I won’t be meditating anymore… I’m not supposed to think of anything… And so… another failed attempt at meditation!
I’ve also made attempts at practicing yoga. In 1983, my self-disciplined father took yoga classes and started practicing it daily. He is now in his 70’s and still does it, if not daily, at least four to five times a week. At that time, I was a teenager. My cousin, a girlfriend and I decided to register to a yoga class. The instructor began the class by making us get rid of bad energy. We had to stretch as much as we could and then… release with a loud growl. Stretch and…. growl… We would look at each other, trying not to burst out laughing. Needless to say that it seemed hilarious to our teenage eyes… a bunch of 40 year-olds stretching, releasing and growling, together, in harmony!!!! We lasted three classes!
Because I’ve always known about the benefits of yoga, I began classes again last summer, with the same cousin. This time around, we were able not to laugh during class, but after class, we would imitate the intonations of the instructor telling us to REEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAXXXXX! Anyway, I left on vacation with my family shortly after and never went back to the class. I loved it though! Every time I’d come out of the class, I felt renewed!
So there, in the pursuit of happiness, I know meditation and even yoga are unavoidable … so with this in mind, I am now writing it, so I no longer have a choice: IN THE NEXT 495 DAYS, I WILL MEDITATE DAILY. Even if it’s unsuccessful at times, I know that little by little I can learn to quiet my mind!
We all know it through the reading of spiritual books, meditation can definitely help you in your search for inner peace and happiness. So, this morning when I woke up, I decided that today was the first day of a daily meditation routine. You have to know that I have unsuccessfully tried meditation in the past, but this morning I was going to try something different. I’ve been reading, like everybody else these days, Eat, Pray and Love. When Liz, the main character is in Bali, she meets a medicine man who tells her to meditate by simply sitting still with a smile on her face, no mantra or rhythmic breathing, just a smile. He tells her that by doing so, she will attract good energy.
I need good energy. I want good energy. So, I sat down on my living room floor with all good intentions. I crossed my legs, closed my eyes and started smiling. Then, something happened, and no, it wasn’t enlightenment! I started thinking… That’s what always happens to me when I try to meditate. I start thinking… but this time I was looking at myself sitting down with a stupid fake smile painted on my face. I thought, this is not a real smile…. Let me try to make it more real… still not real enough…. Let me think of something funny… But if I start thinking too much I won’t be meditating anymore… I’m not supposed to think of anything… And so… another failed attempt at meditation!
I’ve also made attempts at practicing yoga. In 1983, my self-disciplined father took yoga classes and started practicing it daily. He is now in his 70’s and still does it, if not daily, at least four to five times a week. At that time, I was a teenager. My cousin, a girlfriend and I decided to register to a yoga class. The instructor began the class by making us get rid of bad energy. We had to stretch as much as we could and then… release with a loud growl. Stretch and…. growl… We would look at each other, trying not to burst out laughing. Needless to say that it seemed hilarious to our teenage eyes… a bunch of 40 year-olds stretching, releasing and growling, together, in harmony!!!! We lasted three classes!
Because I’ve always known about the benefits of yoga, I began classes again last summer, with the same cousin. This time around, we were able not to laugh during class, but after class, we would imitate the intonations of the instructor telling us to REEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAXXXXX! Anyway, I left on vacation with my family shortly after and never went back to the class. I loved it though! Every time I’d come out of the class, I felt renewed!
So there, in the pursuit of happiness, I know meditation and even yoga are unavoidable … so with this in mind, I am now writing it, so I no longer have a choice: IN THE NEXT 495 DAYS, I WILL MEDITATE DAILY. Even if it’s unsuccessful at times, I know that little by little I can learn to quiet my mind!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
DAY 4 - THE YIN AND YANG
Day 4
This morning, I went jogging. Not that I’m waiting for anyone to congratulate me… But let’s just say self-discipline is not written in my astrological birth chart!!!! My husband is self-disciplined, my father is self-disciplined and I would even say that my oldest daughter is self-disciplined… I, for one, did not inherit this character trait. When I was writing my Master’s thesis, I almost gave up about 20 times. My self-disciplined husband pushed me every day so I would complete it. And, I finally did. I was so proud and happy. I remember handing in my 100 pages of seemingly intelligent analysis on the concept of identity thinking: “I never want to have to read you again”. And thank god my wish was granted. I had read it over and over so many times that when, on December 7, 1998, it was accepted without any correction, I cried with an uncontrollable sob of joy”. Yes, I was happy and relieved as though I had been constipated for 2 years and was finally allowed to walk free of the pressure!!!! This long agonizing pain had finally come to an end.
Was I happy because I had accomplished something or because I wasn’t going to have another sleepless night in front of my computer looking for ways to sound brighter than I am? Or is it that the mere experience of pain allows us to feel more powerful joy? Could we experience joy as intensely if suffering hadn’t preceded it. I teach English as a second language to adults and when I ask my students to describe the happiest day of their lives, all those who have children, and especially women, tell me that it was the moment their first child was born. Of course, the arrival of a human being in the world is an unbelievable experience, but does the pain felt by the mother before she gives birth amplify the feeling of happiness? Could we really know what happiness was if we hadn’t felt despair? As ancient Chinese have known for Centuries, life is made up of the Yin and the Yang, of darkness and light, of joy and sorrow, and it is only through the acceptance of these two opposing, yet complementary energies, that we can really achieve inner peace and happiness.
This morning, I went jogging. Not that I’m waiting for anyone to congratulate me… But let’s just say self-discipline is not written in my astrological birth chart!!!! My husband is self-disciplined, my father is self-disciplined and I would even say that my oldest daughter is self-disciplined… I, for one, did not inherit this character trait. When I was writing my Master’s thesis, I almost gave up about 20 times. My self-disciplined husband pushed me every day so I would complete it. And, I finally did. I was so proud and happy. I remember handing in my 100 pages of seemingly intelligent analysis on the concept of identity thinking: “I never want to have to read you again”. And thank god my wish was granted. I had read it over and over so many times that when, on December 7, 1998, it was accepted without any correction, I cried with an uncontrollable sob of joy”. Yes, I was happy and relieved as though I had been constipated for 2 years and was finally allowed to walk free of the pressure!!!! This long agonizing pain had finally come to an end.
Was I happy because I had accomplished something or because I wasn’t going to have another sleepless night in front of my computer looking for ways to sound brighter than I am? Or is it that the mere experience of pain allows us to feel more powerful joy? Could we experience joy as intensely if suffering hadn’t preceded it. I teach English as a second language to adults and when I ask my students to describe the happiest day of their lives, all those who have children, and especially women, tell me that it was the moment their first child was born. Of course, the arrival of a human being in the world is an unbelievable experience, but does the pain felt by the mother before she gives birth amplify the feeling of happiness? Could we really know what happiness was if we hadn’t felt despair? As ancient Chinese have known for Centuries, life is made up of the Yin and the Yang, of darkness and light, of joy and sorrow, and it is only through the acceptance of these two opposing, yet complementary energies, that we can really achieve inner peace and happiness.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
DAY 3 - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE
DAY 3
Since I started this blog project, I’ve been very excited, so much that my best friend is calling it my new lover. Today, I sent the link to a friend of mine. She replied and asked me If I had heard about a book called “The Happiness Project”. The funny thing is every time I googled the word happiness, it showed up. I briefly had looked at the site but I hadn’t paid too much attention to it. Then, that friend asked me if I would like to borrow the book for inspiration purposes. She left it in my mailbox. When I got back from work, there it was, sitting on my dining room table. I picked it up and bam… I got hit in the face… Someone stole my idea before I thought of it ….or something like that. The author thought it would be a great idea to spend a year trying to define happiness! Sounds familiar????
I guess through ether, many people come up with the same ideas at the same time!!!! That’s why with some inventions, we are not so sure who came up with the idea first! In this case, she published a book…
I faced a blogger’s crisis! Sure, I knew some people were blogging about happiness. I also knew that I wasn’t the only one looking for ways to be happier, but to see it in front of my eyes, as a complete object and a bestseller, I might add, made me feel very "crappy”! I called two friends, one of them told me: “Put it in a bag and forget about it. You can’t get sidetracked, just keep on writing”. The other one said “ Don’t worry about it, so many people have written about vampires, for instance, but every approach is different” I burst out laughing, Vampires????? “ Some topics are universal, just keep doing it, she added” So, I decided to write and dedicate this blog to these two friends. Christina and Donna, thank you for helping me come out of this emotional temporary rut and putting a smile on my face. I WILL GO ON!
Since I started this blog project, I’ve been very excited, so much that my best friend is calling it my new lover. Today, I sent the link to a friend of mine. She replied and asked me If I had heard about a book called “The Happiness Project”. The funny thing is every time I googled the word happiness, it showed up. I briefly had looked at the site but I hadn’t paid too much attention to it. Then, that friend asked me if I would like to borrow the book for inspiration purposes. She left it in my mailbox. When I got back from work, there it was, sitting on my dining room table. I picked it up and bam… I got hit in the face… Someone stole my idea before I thought of it ….or something like that. The author thought it would be a great idea to spend a year trying to define happiness! Sounds familiar????
I guess through ether, many people come up with the same ideas at the same time!!!! That’s why with some inventions, we are not so sure who came up with the idea first! In this case, she published a book…
I faced a blogger’s crisis! Sure, I knew some people were blogging about happiness. I also knew that I wasn’t the only one looking for ways to be happier, but to see it in front of my eyes, as a complete object and a bestseller, I might add, made me feel very "crappy”! I called two friends, one of them told me: “Put it in a bag and forget about it. You can’t get sidetracked, just keep on writing”. The other one said “ Don’t worry about it, so many people have written about vampires, for instance, but every approach is different” I burst out laughing, Vampires????? “ Some topics are universal, just keep doing it, she added” So, I decided to write and dedicate this blog to these two friends. Christina and Donna, thank you for helping me come out of this emotional temporary rut and putting a smile on my face. I WILL GO ON!
Monday, September 20, 2010
DAY 2- LIVING IN HARMONY WITH YOURSELF
Day 2
So this morning, when I woke up, I thought that to discover the true meaning of happiness, as a start, I would try to find out what great thinkers and human beings I have always admired think of happiness.
Mahatma Gandhi defines happiness as being when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony.
So, right there, I fail. I don’t think buying objects made in China is something I should do, yet I did it just yesterday. And it pains me to admit it, but I am full of contradictions….
- I don’t think that when I’m full, I should eat that second piece of wonderfully fluffy chocolate mousse, yet I do it.
- I believe one should exercise every day and as my buttock can attest, I don’t!
- I think getting upset is a waste of time and of energy, but when my daughters are climbing curtains and pulling at each other’s hair, I have to confess, I LOSE IT! (My Mediterranean blood is partly responsible for that last one. Egyptians are known for their loud communicative approach. As a matter of fact, when I was young, my friends would come over and thought my parents where screaming, when all they were doing, was discussing what we should have for dinner.)
I have so many beliefs, but how can you apply what Gandhi preaches? How can you always achieve perfect harmony between your thoughts, your words and your actions? Maybe activists have an easier time acting on their beliefs since it is actually what they choose to do.
Anyway, if Gandhi’s right, then, I have to live according to my deepest beliefs in order to achieve happiness and inner harmony. So from now on, no more fluffy delicious chocolate mousse, no more morning coffee, only green tea, no more purchase at the dollar store (everything there comes from China), no more yelling, only constructive communication, no more sitting down on the couch watching stupid scripted reality shows, no more abusive wine drinking and vodka... God I’m depressed!
So this morning, when I woke up, I thought that to discover the true meaning of happiness, as a start, I would try to find out what great thinkers and human beings I have always admired think of happiness.
Mahatma Gandhi defines happiness as being when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony.
So, right there, I fail. I don’t think buying objects made in China is something I should do, yet I did it just yesterday. And it pains me to admit it, but I am full of contradictions….
- I don’t think that when I’m full, I should eat that second piece of wonderfully fluffy chocolate mousse, yet I do it.
- I believe one should exercise every day and as my buttock can attest, I don’t!
- I think getting upset is a waste of time and of energy, but when my daughters are climbing curtains and pulling at each other’s hair, I have to confess, I LOSE IT! (My Mediterranean blood is partly responsible for that last one. Egyptians are known for their loud communicative approach. As a matter of fact, when I was young, my friends would come over and thought my parents where screaming, when all they were doing, was discussing what we should have for dinner.)
I have so many beliefs, but how can you apply what Gandhi preaches? How can you always achieve perfect harmony between your thoughts, your words and your actions? Maybe activists have an easier time acting on their beliefs since it is actually what they choose to do.
Anyway, if Gandhi’s right, then, I have to live according to my deepest beliefs in order to achieve happiness and inner harmony. So from now on, no more fluffy delicious chocolate mousse, no more morning coffee, only green tea, no more purchase at the dollar store (everything there comes from China), no more yelling, only constructive communication, no more sitting down on the couch watching stupid scripted reality shows, no more abusive wine drinking and vodka... God I’m depressed!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
DAY 1-THOUGHTS ON THE TRUE MEANING OF HAPPINESS
Day 1
Ok, so here it starts. My quest for the meaning of happiness…. Not that I’m not happy. Sure, there are moments in my life when I feel joy. But what is true happiness? I once bought a book by the Dalai Lama about happiness. It talked about finding happiness through Compassion and Detachment. The problem is, I don’t know how to be compassionate and detached at the same time. In fact, when my friends tell me about their pain, it truly makes me sad.
This morning, when I woke up and went into my shower, I decided that I would dedicate this year to this quest. On a spiritual journey, I launch myself. For some reason, I always come up with brilliant ideas when I’m in the shower. So there I am, reflecting, I tell myself that one of the things I really want to avoid is to turn this quest into something superficial and mundane. I really want to find the true deep meaning of happiness.
So, what do I do, on my way back from work, I go and try to find something my daughters have been begging me to buy them: SILLY BANDS: animal-shaped useless plastic bracelets. I go not to one, two or three stores to try to find them, but to five. As I am looking for these Made in China bracelets, I’m questioning whether they will bring my daughters happiness. I’m trying to show my kids what a Consumer’s Society we live in and how we are disgustingly manipulated by it. And there I am, in a toy store, spending 20$ on…junk! Junk made in China on top of it! And God knows I am aware of child labor and work conditions in China. But I can’t help it… my North American self is caught up in the whirl of consumption!!!!!
Needless to say, my daughters were ecstatic. And, as I was telling a friend about my questions about happiness, she brought up an interesting point: How long will my daughters be happy about this new materialistic acquisition? And there, I have my answer, as I am writing these lines, my 6 year-old daughter just pulled a tantrum because I don’t want her to open the bracelet package right away! So, basically, her happiness lasted 22 minutes and 35 seconds!
Ok, so here it starts. My quest for the meaning of happiness…. Not that I’m not happy. Sure, there are moments in my life when I feel joy. But what is true happiness? I once bought a book by the Dalai Lama about happiness. It talked about finding happiness through Compassion and Detachment. The problem is, I don’t know how to be compassionate and detached at the same time. In fact, when my friends tell me about their pain, it truly makes me sad.
This morning, when I woke up and went into my shower, I decided that I would dedicate this year to this quest. On a spiritual journey, I launch myself. For some reason, I always come up with brilliant ideas when I’m in the shower. So there I am, reflecting, I tell myself that one of the things I really want to avoid is to turn this quest into something superficial and mundane. I really want to find the true deep meaning of happiness.
So, what do I do, on my way back from work, I go and try to find something my daughters have been begging me to buy them: SILLY BANDS: animal-shaped useless plastic bracelets. I go not to one, two or three stores to try to find them, but to five. As I am looking for these Made in China bracelets, I’m questioning whether they will bring my daughters happiness. I’m trying to show my kids what a Consumer’s Society we live in and how we are disgustingly manipulated by it. And there I am, in a toy store, spending 20$ on…junk! Junk made in China on top of it! And God knows I am aware of child labor and work conditions in China. But I can’t help it… my North American self is caught up in the whirl of consumption!!!!!
Needless to say, my daughters were ecstatic. And, as I was telling a friend about my questions about happiness, she brought up an interesting point: How long will my daughters be happy about this new materialistic acquisition? And there, I have my answer, as I am writing these lines, my 6 year-old daughter just pulled a tantrum because I don’t want her to open the bracelet package right away! So, basically, her happiness lasted 22 minutes and 35 seconds!
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