DAY 4 - THE YIN AND YANG

Day 4

This morning, I went jogging. Not that I’m waiting for anyone to congratulate me… But let’s just say self-discipline is not written in my astrological birth chart!!!! My husband is self-disciplined, my father is self-disciplined and I would even say that my oldest daughter is self-disciplined… I, for one, did not inherit this character trait. When I was writing my Master’s thesis, I almost gave up about 20 times. My self-disciplined husband pushed me every day so I would complete it. And, I finally did. I was so proud and happy. I remember handing in my 100 pages of seemingly intelligent analysis on the concept of identity thinking: “I never want to have to read you again”. And thank god my wish was granted. I had read it over and over so many times that when, on December 7, 1998, it was accepted without any correction, I cried with an uncontrollable sob of joy”. Yes, I was happy and relieved as though I had been constipated for 2 years and was finally allowed to walk free of the pressure!!!! This long agonizing pain had finally come to an end.

Was I happy because I had accomplished something or because I wasn’t going to have another sleepless night in front of my computer looking for ways to sound brighter than I am? Or is it that the mere experience of pain allows us to feel more powerful joy? Could we experience joy as intensely if suffering hadn’t preceded it. I teach English as a second language to adults and when I ask my students to describe the happiest day of their lives, all those who have children, and especially women, tell me that it was the moment their first child was born. Of course, the arrival of a human being in the world is an unbelievable experience, but does the pain felt by the mother before she gives birth amplify the feeling of happiness? Could we really know what happiness was if we hadn’t felt despair? As ancient Chinese have known for Centuries, life is made up of the Yin and the Yang, of darkness and light, of joy and sorrow, and it is only through the acceptance of these two opposing, yet complementary energies, that we can really achieve inner peace and happiness.