DAY 142 -REALITY OR BELIEF? THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Day 142

Last Saturday, my cousins came over for dinner at my parents' house.  One of my cousins, who has been studying yoga, meditation and philosophy for many years, also does comedy shows.  I asked him if, when he was up on stage, he sometimes became self-critical, seeing himself performing and judging his performance.  He answered that he never does, that comedy is like breathing for him.  He just IS funny.  In fact, he just IS.  Some people might view that answer as being pretentious.  I'm not sure it really is.

I believe self-doubt is not entirely negative.  When you question what you do, it could help you get better.  When self-doubt rules your life,   it then infringes on your actions and can even lead to inertia.  What was interesting to me about what my cousin was saying is that, in his mind, there is no need to judge.  You just need to be!

Judgement is a perception of reality.  And since there is no absolute Truth, judging yourself is actually deciding that your negative belief about yourself is the actual Truth.

It is much easier to understand that concept when we talk about things that do not have an emotional impact on us.  For instance, about two weeks ago, a student of mine who had been arguing with the other students as if HE  held the truth, was going at it once again, getting into an argument with a student.  I interrupted their conversation and asked him if he though the cup that was on my desk was broken.  He was a little surprised by my intervention but quickly answered: " No, it's not".  He told me he was sure of it.  I turned my cup around and showed him that in fact, it was!

In that example, the subjectivity of perception is easily demonstrated.  Because we are so caught up in our emotions, it never occurs to us that the thoughts creating negative emotional responses are actually a subjective version of reality and that therefore, all negative thoughts, whether they are about ourselves or our lives are only a mirage that we convince ourselves of being true.  Isn't that what cognitive therapy is about?  Trying to change distorted visions of reality.

Have I lost anyone yet?  All this to say, that when you have insecurities or self-esteem issues, they have nothing to do with who you really are.  If you tend to create scenarios and imagine what other people are thinking, it is only the result of a set of beliefs that has entered your mind and that you deem as being true.  A belief is not reality, and being aware of that can definitely help get rid of negative thoughts, the anxiety caused by them, and lead to a better state of mind.