Today, one of my students came to see me after class. She wanted to ask my advice on her career choice. She is of Lebanese origin. Her and her husband had to leave Lebanon 15 years ago for security reasons. She's 34 years old and has four children. She has never gone back to her country and so, has been far away from her family all that time.
When she started talking to me, she simply wanted to know if I believed she ought to go back to university, which means only graduating in four years, or she should become a secretary, which would only take her a year and a half.
I asked her to think about what SHE REALLY WANTED to do, not taking into account the practical aspect of her decision. Little did I know that I had just stricken a very sensitive chord. She began to cry uncontrollably.
For the last 15 years, she hasn't thought about what SHE wants. Obligations have dictated her every move. She never wanted to leave Lebanon. She's very close to her family and feels very lonely here, with no siblings or parents to give her support. She's been putting herself last for more than a decade and so making a decision only based on her needs is a real challenge for her.
She's not the only person who has done that. Many people sacrifice their lives for others (immigrants in particular tend to sacrifice their life for the wellbeing of their children) only to become resentful and regretful. My student, at age 34, carries a luggage full of "would haves", "could haves" and "should haves". She was an actrice in Lebanon, and she loved her life. She was happy. Here, she feels worthless, alone, with no real passion for anything. The problem is, the burden she carries keeps her from going forward.
Since she cannot change her past, she needs to leave it behind her, where it belongs. However, she does have the power to draw her future. She still holds the key to it.
Sometimes, people carry such a heavy load that they can no longer see hope for the future. In those cases, learning to let go of the past and turn to what life can offer you HERE, NOW and in the FUTURE is the only way to find peace of mind and happiness.
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