SAY 127 - DEALING WITH OVERLY CRITICAL PEOPLE

 Day 127 

Yesterday, I went to the gym and took a muscle toning class.  The instructor was extremely competent.  She didn’t stay in front  the whole class, only showing the moves; she actually went around and corrected wrong postures.  She was an Anglophone, but seeing that the majority of participants were French speaking, she decided to give the entire class in French. 

At the end of the class, she mentioned that since she would be replacing the regular instructor for the next couple of weeks, she would really appreciate having some feedback and comments.  I went up to her to congratulate her, but there was already a participant talking to her. 

As I was waiting for my turn to talk, I overheard the lady commenting and criticizing the instructor’s French.  I was appalled.  I immediately intervened.  I told the instructor, in front of the woman, not to worry about her French, that it was really good.  I then went on to compliment her on her great teaching skills.

It made me think about the fact that people, sometimes, give you useless negative feedback.  Why did that woman need to comment on the instructor’s French?  Why did she care so much?  The objective of the class was to tone muscles and she achieved that very successfully.  So why did she need to comment on her linguistic competence?

I have definitely been confronted with people like that; people who give you negative comments you never asked for.  How do you deal with that?

Every situation is different, but I believe that the first step is to not take critical comments personally. Everyone has the right to their opinion, and it is not worth wasting energy trying to figure out why the person said what they said.  In the end, the only thing we can control is the way we react, not what is said to us.

So, at times, I’ll just ignore the comment and pretend I haven’t heard it.  But If I feel uncomfortable about it, I’ll look within to understand why I’m feeling that way. Chances are, if it made me uncomfortable, it is probably because it has struck a sensitive chord and I need to understand why.

In general though, I simply try to avoid being with people who are overly critical.  I don’t like being around negativity, so why would I choose to spend time with someone negatively impact my mood.   I'm not that masochistic!