We all carry with us a gigantic library of memories. Some are bad; some are good; but no matter what they are, they should remain where they are: in the past. I'm not saying that we should forget about our past. I personally love to reminisce. However, some people are so haunted or nostalgic of their past, that they forget to live in the present.
A student of mine left Canada about 10 years ago and lived in Cannes until last year. Her daughter, who is 32 years old, had just had a baby and asked her to come back to Montreal. As a new mom, she needed the support of her own mother, feeling overwhelmed by her new role. When I interviewed my student to evaluate her english level, she began crying. She hates her life here, but doesn't have the money to go back to France. She is absolutely miserable and cannot adapt to her new life.
Resilience would be of the utmost importance in that situation. Only when my student begins to accept her situation, will she have the energy to go on with her life. Living in the past creates inertia. And in order to enjoy your life, you need to be in motion, otherwise you stagnate. And we all know what stagnating waters could carry...
The past is the past, and whether it is positive or negative, if you are not living in the present, you are not really LIVING! My student could have the plan to go back, but still try to create a happy life for herself HERE and NOW. LIfe is linear and to go forward you need to look ahead and not behind. It's like driving in your car looking in your rear view mirror all the time. If you do that, you're bound to eventually get into an accident.
Letting go of the past doesn't mean forgetting the past. It simply means to choose to LIVE in spite of the past. If it means forgiving someone, crying for a couple of days in order to get it out of your system or writing pages and pages to put on paper your regrets or your sorrow, then be it!!! The idea is to choose the present and stop blinding yourself from the happiness you could enjoy NOW!!!!
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