Day 26
Today, in class, my students began a debate on the topic of soul mates. Right away, this 40 year-old Algerian woman told us: “I married my soul mate”. And she truly believes that in the entire world, there was only one man meant for her and that she married him. Now how beautiful is that? I’m a non-believer! I think we are compatible with many people on the planet...
What happens is: one day, the shining light of some exceptional man or woman strikes us... And, if lightning occurs, a love story begins. There is nothing like the beginning of a relationship. I remember those first few weeks with my husband. When he was around, I couldn’t focus on anything! I recall those movie outings holding his clammy hands in my even clammier hands, and coming out of the movie theater not remembering the title or the story! Two months after we started going out, he left for Belize on an archaeological dig. At the time, there was no internet, so we wrote each other long beautiful letters every day, just so we could ramble about how unutterably amazing we thought the other was.
That is, of course, until routine, responsibilities and apartment sharing set in. Relationships need work! Some people never get to that point. As soon as the first blaze of excitement disappears, they take off! What I have found, though, is that true deep love begins at that very moment! It is when you are able to see the person as they really are, with all their flaws and faults, that genuine love takes place.
My parents, who are celebrating 50 years of happy marriage this month, are a true example of a long-lasting loving relationship. When I was young, they sometimes fought, but they never showed disrespect toward one another and they always held up to the rule they had set themselves at the beginning of their marriage, never to go to bed angry.
Relationships could be compared to a good wine! In the right environment, it can get better with age. In a vile or unsuitable environment, it will get sour! Of course, working on a daily basis at creating this healthy and happy environment requires effort, patience and compromise, but only then will you be able, later on, to fully savor the panoply of aromas that characterize aged vintage!
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