Day 58
Egyptians, as many immigrants, start instilling feelings of guilt in their children as soon as they’re born. “Why do you keep mamma awake all night?” You have to understand that it is not malicious. It is mostly unconscious.
Both my parents, both my brothers and I can all easily be manipulated when someone uses that strategy to obtain a favor. We also use it to get what we want. So, I guess now, our secret is out! Growing up, I swore to myself I would never make my children feel guilty; it hasn't been as easy as I thought.
Why are we afflicted by such a feeling? Many situations can trigger it. We can feel guilty when we set goals or make resolutions, and we don’t follow through. For instance, if you’ve been trying to lose weight and you get tempted by a piece of chocolate cake or you've decided to start working out and you don't go to the gym for a week; in those cases, you might beat yourself up over your lack of commitment and feel guilty about it.
We can also have that feeling when we react to a situation without thinking about it and we realize that our reaction was inappropriate and maybe has hurt someone. So many times, I blurt things out without thinking about it and then try to swim backwards to rectify the situation only to find myself more deeply engulfed in my mistake.
That feeling occurs as well when we make decisions that we are in peace with, but that generate negative reactions. For instance, when a friend has tickets for you to go to a rock concert and is disappointed because you choose to stay home with your partner and watch a movie instead.
Feeling guilty is like many other negative feelings, it is anti-productive and brings about unhappiness. In the end, there is no need to torture yourself with guilt feelings. Whatever the situation, don't judge yourself, it serves no one, especially not you. If you can fix the situation, just do it; if you can’t, let it go!
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