DAY 215 - I SHALL REJOICE... AND NOT WORRY

Day 215

OTTAWA

So, my 9 year-old daughter left at 6:45 am this morning for a field trip to Ottawa, Canada’s Capital.  She is going to spend two nights and three days with her school friends and teachers discovering, learning, having a great time and feeling she is slowly acquiring independence.

Last night, I gave her the “SAFETY RULES” speech…but still, this morning, as the bus drove off, I felt a pinch in my heart and my eyes became watery! Nothing very rational…  more like a vague feeling of concern mixed with a realization that my little baby is no longer a baby.

As my kids are getting older, I’m realizing more and more how important it is to learn to give them space to grow, which means being able to accept and understand that not because I don't control their every move, something will go wrong.

I could very easily spend three days worrying about her, imagining unlikely scenarios, wondering how she is. But if I do that, I am giving in to an imaginary life that is harmful to my mental health and hinders my peace of mind.

The only thing I CAN control, or at least attempt to control, is my thoughts.  I CAN choose to focus on the fun and learning experience this trip represents for her.   I CAN decide to think about  how memorable it is going to be for her and how she is working on creating a library of wonderful memories.  And, if I push it a little further, I CAN even choose to rejoice at the fact that she is growing up and experiencing life outside of her family.

In the end, whatever I choose to think belongs to me and could make the difference between spending three very long and agonizing days waiting for her impatiently or spending three short and happy days, looking forward to her return, but enjoying the here and now as well!  Put that way, why would anyone choose the first option?  Oh God, if only it were that easy!!!!

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