DAY 82 - FREEDOM

Day 82

What is freedom?  Does it truly exist?  Does it bring happiness? Throughout history, many scholars have written about the concept of freedom, which could be divided in various categories and has held a range of definitions through the ages.  My purpose though is not to write an essay on the topic, but to give a personal account on the subject.

I have never liked to feel imprisoned. Maybe that’s why I love traveling.  It gives me a sense of adventure, as if the realm of possibilities was endless.  When I was in my 20’s, I was really able to indulge in that bohemian lifestyle.   I remember coming back from one of my trips and finding it extremely difficult to get back on the moving train.  

That is not to say that I didn’t go through ups and downs when I was traveling or that I didn’t miss my family and friends, I just enjoyed the feeling of being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  

As I moved out of my parents’ house and began to have a rent and bills to pay, things dramatically changed.  One day or another, we all have to face up to some responsibilities, unless you decide to live on the street.  I’ve heard interviews with homeless people who say they chose that way of life for that exact reason: they don’t want to give up their freedom.  In the end, I’m not sure they’re really free.  Perhaps because in order to do what you want, you need to have the means to do it.

As you get older, it seems that responsibilities just keep piling up!  Mortgage, kids, work, bills, the list of  goes on and on … But what about freedom?  What about the girl who hated to feel imprisoned?  Where could she find happiness in the midst of all these obligations?

The truth is I’m happier now than then, even though I’ve lost part of my freedom. When I lost my freedom, I gained stability and comfort.  And I make do with the little I have.  Freedom can’t take the same form it did 20 years ago.  Now, I steal moments of freedom.  A few times a week, my husband stays with the kids and I travel back to my bohemian self by doing things just for me.  It’s not much, but for those few hours of freedom, I’m able to rediscover the 20 year-old bohemian girl I once was.