I have fought many battles, especially when I was younger. Whenever I’d meet someone who was racist, sexist or showed any type of intolerance or discrimination, I would go to war and strongly fight their ideology. I remember getting all wound up, so much that I would feel my blood pressure rise, my nostrils flare, my sweat spew out of my pores and smoke come out of my ears.
I’ve calmed down since then, although I still have little tolerance for intolerance. That's the reason why, at times, I still get caught up in an argument. What I’ve noticed is that when I do argue with people, I never feel very good afterwards. Even if the debate generally remained respectful.
People who trigger a passionate response in me are usually those who would never change their mind anyway. They often have an opinion set in stone and their way of arguing frustrates me because I can see that they are not really listening to my opinion. So why do I bother?
I want to be right and I want the other person to acknowledge the fact that they know I’m right. The argument stems from and is fed by that desire. I’m wondering if it’s really worth it. At the end of such discussion, I know I will not have convinced the other person and all I will be left with is a negative feeling.
Wanting to be right at all costs might not be the way to go, although when I'm arguing intensely, I can see no other way. However, as Deepak Chopra, my friend John and my husband say, is it better to be right or to be happy?
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