Every session I teach my student the past conditional. After about an hour of grammatical theory, I tell them to never use that tense, philosophically, of course.
There are so many directions to choose from as we grow. Every time we get to a crossroad, we make a decision based on our knowledge, intuition or sometimes, only because of social pressure. On the chosen path, life unfolds. If you start experiencing hurdles or suffering, it becomes very easy to start fantasizing about the alternative way, the one you did not take. The fact is, you will never know where that road would have lead you.
The exercise of looking back at your decisions is only beneficial if you look at the positive impact each of your choices has had on your life. Wallowing on the past and filling your soul with regrets serves no one, especially not you.
I’m going to say something really wise now: YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR PAST CHOICES, YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOUR PRESENT AND FUTURE DECISIONS! There! I said it! Brilliant, isn’t it? I know you know that we all know that this is true. So, why do we waste energy talking in the past conditional?
In the end, by doing so we are only indulging in self-pity. If I never pursued a career as a singer, perhaps it’s because I wasn’t made for that lifestyle! Would I have been happy being on the road all the time?
You know your present reality. The decisions you make now will have an impact on your future. You have to think carefully before you go ahead with your choices. However, once you do, there is no need to look back anymore! Being on a happy path, is also being able to be at peace with all that you were, all that you’ve done, all that you are and all that you will be.
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