DAY 108 - GOSSIPING

Day 108

A friend of yours comes up to you and tells you:  “Have you heard what happened to John”.  Your heart starts beating faster, some happy chemical is released in your brain and you start feeling the joy of gossiping even before you get the news.  Human beings, no matter the age, the sex, the social status or the origin all enjoy, to different degrees, talking about other people.  Originally, our ancestors needed to have information for survival reasons.  Today, it might not be essential to our survival, but it is nonetheless a very common activity.  In fact, research shows that we spend two thirds of our communication time relating news and talking about other people.

Some researchers, who have been studying the phenomenon, have even compared it to grooming in primates.   They have found that it helps create bonds and cement relationships.  It also establishes social standards so that individuals understand acceptable behavior. 

Why does gossiping feel so wrong then? If gossip is, like the dictionary defines it, “rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature”, all gossip is not negative.  It is possible to spread positive news about someone.  It also happens that we talk negatively about someone, because we have been hurt and we need advice.  And in that case, although there is judgment involved, it stems from a personal reaction to a situation.  

I believe gossip is plainly wrong when it has no purpose but to make yourself feel better by putting someone else down.  If you wouldn’t want the person you’re talking about to hear what you’re saying about them, then it can’t be positive.  In those cases, gossiping is not beneficial to anyone.  It could potentially destroy your relationship with the person you’re talking about and be very hurtful to him or her.

Some gossip is harmless and really does promote happiness.  For instance, when you relate good news about somebody you care about or when it is used for entertainment purposes, such as gossip about stars.  However, some gossip is mean-spirited and could have negative consequences.  So how do you make the difference?  Although, sometimes there could be a fine line between what is gossip and what is not, in general I think we all know when it is wrong to gossip because it just feels wrong!

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