Thursday, January 20, 2011

DAY 115 - NAGGING

Day 115

Although your spouse or your children’s bad habits might annoy you, nagging is certainly not the solution. When you nag and repeatedly ask someone to do something, and they don’t do it, you have to come to terms with the fact that your strategy is not really working.

Nagging poisons relationships.  If you are the one nagging, you are bound to get frustrated by your partner’s indifference to your requests.  If you are the one being nagged at, you have learned to shut your ears, because listening to someone repeating the same things over and over again can get very irritating.

How can we overcome different tolerance levels when it comes to housework and general responsibilities within our homes? 


If you are the nagger:


-    Perhaps, start by limiting commands.  Instead of giving orders to your partner, maybe you could mention what needs to be done and come up with a solution together of how to proceed instead of imposing your strategy and your deadline


-  Accept the fact  that not everyone does things the way you do.  I’ve heard many women complain about the fact that their husband didn’t help change diapers and take care of their babies when they were little.  The problem is, when their husband first tried to change a diaper, they were behind him correcting his every move.  The husband was made to feel inadequate and so stopped trying.


-  Learn to view unimportant things as being what they are: unimportant.  Why create a conflict for a pair of socks lying on the floor instead of being in the hamper?  Although those trivial things can get annoying, creating a peaceful atmosphere in your house is a lot more important.

If you are being nagged:


-       Try to make an effort to respect your partner’s needs by showing that your are listening to what he or she is saying.


-       Express your irritation about the constant nag and try to suggest an alternative method of dealing with the situation.

Nagging never works because it creates tension that often turns into arguments.  As any bad habit, nagging could be hard to get rid of, but I believe that for the benefit of happiness, it is definitely worth trying to avoid.


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